Bush jenna partner

Jenna Bush Hager, a Book Industry Insider With a New Title of Her Own. The former first daughter, a force in publishing because of her Read With Jenna book club, is the author of a new essay ... Jenna Welch, whose $8,000 loss in the Enron scandal was invoked by her son-in-law, President George W. Bush, to distance himself from his energy company connections, died on Friday in Texas. 'Having you as my life partner has been one of the greatest gifts of my life.' Jenna then shared a love letter that George H.W. Bush wrote to Barbara in 1994; the two were married for 73 years. 'This is what I wish for you: the laughter, devotion, and adoration they felt for each other,' Jenna concluded in her toast. Jenna and Barbara Bush are fraternal twins, meaning they don't share the same DNA like identical twins do. And however close they may be, it's pretty obvious that the Bush sisters are two individuals who could not differ more from one another — both in looks and in personality. For starters, Jenna Bush (now Jenna Bush Hager) is the more well-known twin, thanks to her career in the public eye ... Jenna Bush Hager and her husband, Henry Hager, welcomed a third child and their first son, Henry Harold Hager. The baby is the first grandson for former President George W. Bush. Jenna Bush Hager, Barbara Bush recall final moments with George H.W. Bush Dec. 5, 2018 06:22 The 20-person wedding took place along the coast in Maine where the sisters have plenty of cherished ... Relationships. Jenna Bush has been in relationships with Ramiro Palazzo (2006), William Bridges (2001 - 2002) and Blake Gottesman (1995 - 1996).. About. Jenna Bush is a 38 year old American Relative. Born Jenna Welch Bush on 25th November, 1981 in Dallas, Texas, she is famous for Twin daughter of George W. Bush. Jenna Bush Hager penned a sweet tribute to her twin sister Barbara on their 38th birthday before celebrating her big day on the Today show, where she was surprised with a visit from her husband ... Jenna Bush Hager turned 38 on Monday and celebrated with a touching story about the person who has been beside her all along: twin sister Barbara Bush ... “I was born with a partner to go ... Barbara Bush, the eldest daughter of the 43rd President of the United States, George W. Bush, penned a heartfelt letter to her fraternal twin sister Jenna Bush Hager for Vanity Fair's Sister issue.

Jenna Bush Hager and Hoda Kotb share their first photos with their partners

2020.05.27 02:50 newsfeedmedia Jenna Bush Hager and Hoda Kotb share their first photos with their partners

Jenna Bush Hager and Hoda Kotb share their first photos with their partners submitted by newsfeedmedia to newsfeedmedia [link] [comments]


2019.11.06 23:27 UnihornWhale The Crazy Train: Full Steam Ahead

When we last left our hero Jordan, he decided he was done with Jenna’s crazy. Jenna, being about as stable as a rubber ball in an earthquake, wasn’t having this. Sunday night, he texted and said things were escalating again. I grab Hubs and the dog (she hates being left alone and loves Jordan) to rescue Jordan.
We catch him as he’s coming back with carry out and Jenna is sniffling. Jordan grabs the few things he needs and gets ready to go. Jenna asks to talk to him in the bedroom.
Big mistake. Jenna kept blocking the door and slamming it on him to trap him in there. Jordan manages to escape the bedroom and grab his things. Hubs is on the far side of the room, I’m near the door with the dog, and Jenna is doing her crazy best to stay between Jordan and the door.
The whole time she’s wailing, begging him to stay and have dinner with her, promising she’ll be good. She literally sounded like a child having a meltdown. Despite her refusal to let Jordan leave, she kept insisting she was respectfully asking him to spend time with her.
She kept putting her hands on his chest but not pushing him. She seemed to know where the line would easily cross into assault.
She kept wailing “Why are you doing this to me?” Pleasant moments such as this, perhaps?
“You’re making me look crazy!” Because you need so much help with that right now.
Jordan bought her a train ticket and she kept saying, “I’m leaving Day.” I’m waiting for the narrator to say “She didn’t leave on Day.”
She kept insisting she couldn’t be alone but never answered why. Jordan asked if she would self-harm and she said no. I internally cursed because that prevents an involuntary psych hold.
Eventually, she remembers she has an audience. I calmly and quietly say the responses you see. The only person to raise their voice the entire time is her. She asks us to leave so she can talk to him (Me: Talking isn’t helping anything right now), I just want to spend time with him (Me: But he doesn’t want to be here), I can’t be here by myself (Me: Why not)
She goes from hanging on Jordan to hanging on me and sobbing. I give her a second and calmly ask her to step back. I didn’t notice this until today but for all her sobbing and wailing, there were no tears on me.
As it becomes obvious begging, pleading, and trying for pity isn’t working, Jenna starts to get mad. She shoves a large floor stool at Jordan and saying he’s slapped her and has threatened to punch her in the face.
If that’s true, why are you so desperate to be around him? When I say Jordan wouldn’t do that, “Are you calling me a liar?” If the boot fits...
We manage to get him out the door and Jenna follows. He locked her out since she doesn’t know where her keys are. Jordan walks back and opens the unlocked door. She doesn’t know where her cell phone is so he needs to get back in the apartment and call it. This changed to he took it from her and has it on him. Her phone was also dead but Jordan still needed to go back and find it.
She can’t find her wallet. I ask who’s wallet is on the counter (it was a woman’s wallet). ‘You weren’t there so you don’t know.’ She is now belligerent daring anyone to touch her, insisting she won’t be left alone without her wallet and keys. She threatens to call the cops on him if he leaves without finding her wallet, cell phone, and keys.
She refuses to leave Jordan’s side so I am dismissed to go back to my apartment with the dog because pregnant. Spawn doesn’t care for the insanity so I don’t disagree. Hubs stays on board the crazy train and relays the rest to me.
Jordan’s car unlocks all the doors so Jenna immediately gets in. Jordan literally runs away up the hill and Jenna chases after him. He swerves back and makes it into his car. Jenna comes crashing through a bush and face plants, hard. Hubs and I joked this is so absurd that it needed Benny Hill music.
Jordan is safely locked in his car so Jenna does what any crazy person would do and stands in front of it. Even sits on the hood. Jordan finally gives up and calls the police. Twice in as many days.
Hubs is filming everything since the hallway so we have the audio if nothing else. Highlights of Jenna’s outdoor ramblings include:
“I guess you don’t want any tonight”
“I’m not even [Jordan’s religion]”
“You guys only like him because he drives [fancy European car].” I think his preferred car brand is totally overrated.
To Hubs: “You don’t know both sides. There’s 2 sides to every story.” Hubs responded “You’re right. I don’t know your side but I know how you’re acting right now.”
The cops were an older man and younger woman. Lady cop takes Jenna inside to find her things, despite Jenna’s many attempts to get Jordan to talk to her for a minute before going inside. I believe “You are a grown woman” was said. Lady cop texted her partner for Jordan to GTFO while he could.
Jordan has been advised to stay gone until he’s back to make sure she’s good and gone. Corinne checked on Jenna to verify she’s packing and not trashing the place. Despite being 15 gallons of crazy in a 10 gallon bucket, she seems to realize what will land her in jail and is behaving...for now.
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2019.01.30 10:12 AhuwahZeus Bourbon Crime Syndicate

The House of Bourbon are one of the most dominant criminal bloodlines and royal families on the planet. King Felipe VI of Spain is claims the official title of King of Jerusalem and is the the head of the Order of Montesa which is the continuation of the Knights Templar of Aragon. The Knights Templar were the original Zionists. The Knights Templar Cartel in Mexico and others are owned by the House of Bourbon and other Spanish nobility with Italian connections like the Osorio, Aragona-Escobar, Borja, Alvarez, and FitzJames-Alba families. Drug cartels are drug merchants and Templars were also merchants and bankers. When Pope Benedict XVI visited Mexico the Knights Templar Cartel welcomed him with a banner. MS-13 is like a branch of the Mexican Mafia and they operate in the United States ruthlessly serving their interests. Luis Flores founded the Mexican Mafia. Flores means a flower. The Bourbon family use the "fleur-de-lis" on their coat of arms. Fleur means flower. Mexico is overseen by Spain and some Italian nobility with Spanish connections like the Gaetani, Torlonia, Colonna, Massimo, and Ruspoli families. Jeb Bush was the former governor of Florida and Duke Francisco of Bourbon and Escasany was the CEO of the Bank of Miami. Jeb Bush is a 4th degree Knight of Columbus and his wife Columba Bush is from Guanajuato where the Knights Templar Cartel have operations. The House of Bourbon established Banco Santander under Queen Isabella II which has over 1.3 trillion in assets along with its subsidiary Santander Bank in the United States. Ana Patricia Botin-Sanz de Sautuola O'Shea is a Spanish noble and is the executive chairman of Santander. The Botin family continually manage Santander for the House of Bourbon and Ana's father Marquis Emilio Botin was investigated and fined 200 million for tax evasion and concealing billions in private Swiss bank accounts along with various other criminals using Santander accounts in Switzerland. Louis Alphonse Bourbon the Duke of Anjou is a French-Spanish banker and great grandson of Francisco Franco. Louis's father in law is Victor Vargas who owns Banco Occidental de Descuento with 17 billion in assets. Francisco of Asis-Franco and Martinez-Bordiu is another grandson of the dictator and just as wicked. Prince Louis Alphonse and Marquis Francisco Asis-Franco are pure evil.
King Juan Carlos of Spain spent Thanksgiving at the Bush ranch several years back and made criminal business deal with the Bush family. The Bourbons and the Bush family are both married with the Hawkins family. Laura Bush's mother was born as Jenna Louise Hawkins. The Hawkins family married with the Walford and Bourbon family which are the Dukes of Ansola and Marchena. George Bush owns large amounts of property in Texas near the border. The Bush family are working with the House of Bourbon and use their power and wealth to assist the drug cartels and Mexican Mafia in trafficking drugs, weapons, and humans across the border. Several decades ago Mexican cartel criminals made human sacrifices in Brownsville, Texas near the Mexican border which was a satanic sacrifice. Mobsters are Satanists. Rick Perry is an agent of the Bush family and was a former Lieutenant Governor of Texas under Bush and is now United States Secretary of Energy under Donald Trump. Former president Vincente Fox was Jesuit educated. The Jesuits settled in Sinaloa where one of the largest crime syndicates the Sinaloa Drug Cartel is located. King Felipe VI was Jesuit educated at Georgetown in Washington DC. The political leaders in Mexico are deeply connected with the Vatican and Spanish Crown. Organized crime is involved with trafficking women and children. The Mexican Mafia and MS-13 are also connected with a Satanic Aztec cult of blood drinkers that are inside the United States and involved with a child kidnapping ring. In Spain an estimated 300,000 babies were stolen from Roman Catholic Spanish hospitals under the governance of Francisco Franco and the House of Bourbon. This has been reported by the mainstream media. The House of Bourbon traffic babies. The Bourbon family own the Gulf Cartel and are working with their cousins the French House of Orleans which own the New Orleans crime family. They have a criminal trafficking network from Mexico through the Gulf of Mexico to New Orleans, Louisiana. They are ruthless criminals and nothing more.
King Felipe VI of Spain holds the official title of King of Jerusalem and this makes him very high level. The Spanish House of Bourbon is intermarried with Italian Black Nobility and Holy Roman nobility like the House of Battenberg and House of Habsburg-Lorraine. Juan Carlos' father Count Juan of Barcelona was born in Rome. The royal families are all working together to dominate over society. When the people of Spain wanted to get rid of the monarch the royal families propped up the fascist dictator Francisco Franco whose revolt caused a civil war and he then reestablished the Bourbons as the rulers of Spain. They use war and chaos to regain their order. The Latin phrase Ordo ab Chao is the motto of Freemasons and means Order out of Chaos. Juan Carlos shot and killed his older brother to steal the Spanish Crown. When the Bourbon family started getting exposed like this Juan Carlos stepped down and they passed a multitude of fascist laws restricting freedom of speech. Alumbrados is the Spanish word for Illuminati and they existed more than two hundred years before the Bavarian Illuminati and were connected with Ignatius Loyola the founder of the Jesuits. The Spanish royal family also controls the Latin Kings and finance criminals and gang stalkers. A man named Jose Francisco Ruiz or his street name Bigs is an associate of the Latin Kings and Puerto Rican Mafia and is a gang stalker operating in New England and Florida. He has a reaper tattoo on his arm and is a paid killer and he works with his cousin Hector whose street name is Chiefy. Prince Francisco of Bourbon and Hardenberg is an extremely evil member of this family. Prince Francisco works for Alpha Trading a mining company based in the US and involved with precious metals, oil, and gas. Prince Francisco is also a managing partner of Neftan which is a global investment firm run by his father the Duke of Seville. The Duke of Seville manages the Archbishop of Seville Juan Asenjo Pelegrina.
The House of Bourbon is married in with most of the Spanish nobility including the Gomez-Acebo family which run an international law firm. The Bourbon family recently married with the German House of Hardenberg. Their German cousins with Count Andreas von Hardenberg ran the Berliner Bank a subsidiary of Deutsche Bank. Members of the criminal Spanish House of Bourbon include King Juan Carlos I of Bourbon, Queen Sofia of Spain, Duchess Pilar of Bourbon, Duchess Margarita of Bourbon, Duke Carlos of Zurita, King Felipe VI of Bourbon, Queen Letizia of Spain, Duchess Elena of Bourbon, Princess Cristina of Bourbon, Duchess Simoneta of Gomez-Acebo and Bourbon, Prince Luis Beltran of Gomez-Acebo and Bourbon, Prince Bruno of Gomez-Acebo and Bourbon, Prince Fernando of Gomez-Acebo and Bourbon, Prince Alfonso of Zurita and Bourbon, Duchess Maria Sofia Emilia Carmen of Zurita and Bourbon, Prince Felipe of Marichalar and Bourbon, Duchess Maria Cecilia Walford-Hawkins and Bourbon, Donna Mary Helen Walford-Hawkins and Bourbon, Don John James Walford-Hawkins and Bourbon, Don Michael Walford-Hawkins and Bourbon, Don Francis Walford-Hawkins and Bourbon, Don Hugh Walford-Hawkins and Bourbon, Duke Alfonso of Bourbon and Sanchiz, 4th Duke of Santa Elena, Duke Francisco of Bourbon and Escasany 5th Duke of Seville, Prince Francisco of Bourbon and Hardenberg, Princess Olivia of Bourbon and Hardenberg, Duke Alfonso Carlos of Bourbon and Escasany, Duke Louis Alphonse of Bourbon-France, Duchess Marie Marguerite of Bourbon-France, Princess Alejandra of Bourbon and Yordi, Prince Alfonso of Bourbon and Yordi, and Prince Enrique of Bourbon and Lobez. The Bourbons are ruthless tyrants that need to be exterminated.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Felipe_VI_of_Spain
Felipe VI of Spain
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louis_Alphonse,_Duke_of_Anjou
Louis Alphonse de Bourbon, Duke of Anjou
https://www.st-lazarus.net/en/structure/persons/interim-grand-master
Francisco de Borbon Graf von Hardenberg is extremely evil
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francisco_de_Borbón_y_Escasany,_5th_Duke_of_Seville
Francisco de Borbón y Escasany, 5th Duke of Seville
http://www.creditdesalpes.com/about-us/francisco-de-borbon
Francisco de Borbón has been investing and advising on private equity and real estate in the United States, Europe and South America for over 25 years. Since 1993, he has been Chairman of the engineering company IECSA. Mr. de Borbón has held several senior board positions within the financial services, engineering, energy and property sectors during his career. These include, among others, Bank of Miami (Chairman and CEO); International Bank of Miami (Chairman and CEO); Deutsche Chamber of Commerce in Spain (Executive Chairman), and Polaris (Chairman).
https://www.santander.com/csgs/Satellite/CFWCSancomQP01/en_GB/SantandeMore-than-a-century-of-history.html
Santander’s history began on 15 May 1857, when Queen Isabel II signed a royal decree authorising the founding of Banco Santander.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emilio_Botín
Emilio Botín-Sanz de Sautuola y García de los Ríos, Marquis of O’Shea (1 October 1934 – 10 September 2014) was a Spanish banker.[2] He was the executive chairman of Spain's Grupo Santander.
After attending as a boarding student the Jesuit school of Colegio de la Inmaculada, in Gijón, he studied Law and Economics at the University of Deusto in Bilbao.
Botín and his family held undisclosed bank accounts in Switzerland since 1937. Those accounts were discovered by the Spanish tax authorities in 2010. Botín and his family voluntarily settled the case, paying a bill of €200 million.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ana_Botín
Ana Patricia Botín-Sanz de Sautuola O'Shea, DBE (born 4 October 1960) is a Spanish banker. On 10 September 2014 she was appointed executive chairman of Santander Group,[3][4] the fourth generation of the Botín family to hold this role. Prior to this she was CEO of Santander UK, a role she held from December 2010.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A10221-2004Nov24.html
President Bush and first lady Laura Bush on Wednesday welcome King Juan Carlos and Queen Sofia of Spain to his ranch in Crawford, Texas
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2049647/BBC-documentary-exposes-50-year-scandal-baby-trafficking-Catholic-church-Spain.html
Up to 300,000 Spanish babies were stolen from their parents and sold for adoption over a period of five decades, a new investigation reveals.
http://www.davidjackson.info/blog/tag/francisco-franco-martinez-bordiu/
Franco’s grandson arrested for try to run over Guardia Civil officers
http://www.foxnews.com/world/2012/03/19/mexican-drug-cartel-promises-no-violence-while-pope-benedict-xvi-visits.html
Mexican drug cartel promises no violence while Pope Benedict XVI visits
http://articles.latimes.com/1989-04-12/news/mn-1701_1_drug-smugglers-mark-kilroy-cult
12 Bodies Found Near Border Called Drug Cult Victims
Sheriff's Lt. George Gavito said the cult had been involved in human sacrifice for about nine months as part of Satan worship, aimed at seeking the devil's protection from police. Kilroy was apparently chosen at random by the drug smugglers. They "were told to pick one Anglo male that particular night," Gavito said.
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2018.11.02 17:33 handcrankedandroid [ALL] The Super Diaz Bros' Last TV Supper

Max and Chloe don’t exist. They’re Peter Pan and Tinker Bell, the magical child and the manic pixie dream girl. Rachel is Max aged up, reborn and transformed in a ritual of fiery lust. Chloe is the Kewpie mayo, Max is the mustard and Rachel is the ketchup (or hawt sauce) to Frank’s Hawt Dawg Man. This is Brody’s backpack, courtesy of Kalikabanos Apparently, Mushroom is a “reused asset” from Max’s journal. Here’s the little angel Kate, sketching a noose on The Tree from the Overlook. The same tree that 16-year-old Chloe draws 18-year-old Max being hanged from, even though Max was 13 the last time they saw each other. Next up is Kate's diagram of quantum entanglement (maybe?), which looks like Brody’s hobo symbol for “get out quick”- two people escaping through a portal, or two spears penetrating an eyeball (pump the eyeball to get out of class early). The same Kate who drew a little one-eyed wolf wearing a bandolier, just like the bearry-blue Sky Pirate and his 3 foam bullets, just like Captain Bluebeard and her 3 bullet necklace. The same Kate who was saved from falling off Blackwell by Miracle Max the magical child, just like Chris was saved from falling off a ladder by Daniel. Confused yet?
Blackwell is full of artsy kids because they’re all fragments of Frank, the man who animated them. Kate has two classmates who like to sketch, Daniel DaCosta and Stella, and all 3 of them sit at the same table in the nightmare diner. Birds of a feather flock together. Sean and Max are sketch artists too, always outlining their surroundings. She fills her journal with sketches of the day’s events. The Diaz brothers are Kate’s little wolves. Chris is Frank’s inner child, powered by youthful creativity. Charles is Frank as a washed-up athlete in a Springsteen music video, reliving his glory days through the TV. William is Frank all cleaned up, the too-good-to-be-true sitcom dad. He's not content being Dorothy- he wants to be the Wicked Witch, the Wizard of Oz and all the characters in between.
Chris is a sponge, soaking up pop culture from a million different sources to lay the subliminal groundwork for future Frank’s fantasy world. Everything he consumes is thrown into the mental blender along with his own life story. Each time TV’s Frank pushes the button a new schizophrenic smoothie pops out- LiS, BtS, and LiS2- but that same great Frank flavor always rises to the top. Beaver Creek is a combination of Leave it to Beaver and Wolf Creek, Greg McLean’s horror film about Australian backpackers being hunted by a serial killer. When Mark Jefferson calls his class “pesky kids” and yells at Max for snooping around the Dark Room, he’s mimicking an unmasked Scooby Doo villain: “And I’d have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!” The scene shifts every time you switch the lens- Rachel sees her lying dad kissing his mistress. James sees himself saving Rachel from a bad influence. Chloe sees a corrupt politician giving an angel the kiss of death.
Red, yellow and blue: The primary colors are very popular with comic book colorists, movie poster makers and Chris Eriksen. USA and Pepsi Cola, Hulk Hogan and Mickey D’s. Combine all 3 and you get Superman, the ultimate superhero. Click the CS title screen and the words flip from mustard yellow to ketchup red. All the logos were hand-crafted by Chris, yellow on the front and red on the back. Sean kicks aside the red, yellow and blue toy truck- the one from Chris’ house- before sitting down with Lyla. Chris uses the blue and yellow Power Bear to recreate Bane breaking Batman’s back. Choosy Diazes choose Bane brand ketchup. You and I merely watch the television. Chris was born in it, molded by it. He’s Max Headroom inside the boob tube, a deer in the snow globe. He’s Eminem (M&M) dressed up as Robin, Franklin the (Teenage Mutant Ninja) Turtle wearing a Fistful of Dollars-style scrap iron vest as his turtle shell. His shirt represents all the characters inside of him, heroes and villains alike.

Got My Mind Hallucinatin’

All of Frank’s hallucinations are birthed from a little seed, something that catches his ear or strikes his eye. It worms its way into his subconscious, a gut feeling that grows and grows until it explodes outward like a psychedelic chestburster. When something irritating invades an oyster’s shell, the oyster will wrap it in many layers of calcium carbonate before finishing it off with an iridescent coating of nacre. The result is a pearl, a strange and wonderful little orb concealing something unpleasant. An alluring fantasy built around a kernel of truth.
Frank’s pearls consist of 3 main parts. The first is an irritant, like a family that reminds him of his own. He responds by smothering it- Frank murders the father and “liberates” the mothechild. As Daniel says, “The mom was nice, the dad was kind of a weenie.” The third piece is the shiny sugar-nacre coating. He reimagines his actions as a sweet and sour adventure in Francis’ Fantasia, the delicious outer layer of Willie’s Everlasting Gobstopper. The dead are resurrected into, in the words of Matt Groening, “a sort of weird, zombified ideal of the American family”. A beautiful lie to protect his own innocence. Sean tells Daniel they’re going on a grand adventure, James hides Sera from Rachel, and nobody knows what William was lying bout. Sean makes a game of it to see how far they can walk. It's reminiscent of Life is Beautiful, Roberto Benigni’s movie about a Jewish family sent to a concentration camp. The dad spares his son from the horror by convincing him that they're all competitors in a grand game to win a battle tank.
Video games train us to see the world as our piñata. Smash these urns, slash that grass, run over those pedestrians and be rewarded with a grab bag of goodies. Mario bashes blocks and all sorts of powerups and coins pop out. Magic Mushrooms to embiggen the body, Super Leaves for a flying raccoon suit and Fire Flowers to become his fire form. If he snags a Super Star, he becomes temporarily invincible. The gas station is where all the seeds from the woods come to fruition for the Diazes. They read warnings about bears and see claw marks on the trees, then encounter a gas station run by a Mama and Papa bear with a bunch of bear carvings. They find a bunch of crazy mushrooms and up pops Mushroom in a basket. They spot a raccoon and Shazam! there’s a raccoon suit for sale. If Sean checks his bag it’s full of leaves- Super Leaves.
Sean listens to “On the Flip of a Coin”, raids the coin jar and uses a rock to force open the money box at the park. As Daniel plays the Power Bear claw machine he says he’s gonna “beat this boss”. He wins a Minibear, a red plastic egg with a baby Power Bear inside. Like Poké Balls or Chloe’s snow globe collection, the Catcher in the Rye’s gotta catch ‘em all. Frank is Megaman going from boss to boss, collecting their “tiny tools” and leveling up with each conquest. When Daniel power bombs the bear boss, the Super Diaz Bros. are showered in loot. Daniel-Sean is the young bear come to take down the grizzled Hank Stamper. Daniel even calls his bedroom the Bear Lair.
It’s a Peter Pan plan in action, over and over: Frank breaks into a house, kills the father and steals the child. Pompidou, Mushroom, and Baby Rachel were all taken from the rich to give to the poor. When Samuel's waxing poetic about Rachel, he calls her a good egg: a baby dragon. In the drama lab dressing room, Mario’s mystery block is floating behind Chloe. Rachel asks if she brought her flowers. Later they set fire to The Tree together, and Chloe rescues some flowers from her trashcan. The rope from the fallen tire swing forms a question mark as she cracks open the viewfinder to collect its coin. Life needs a little mystery, Chloe.
Flip of the Coin recommends that Sean leave his fate in the hands of a coin flip. But the flip is rigged by you, deciding which fork he should take. Frank can feel your eye gazing down upon him, your hand tugging at the strings. He’s been a very bad boy, so he hides his naughtiness under the blanket. Thomas Bowdler was the man who censored Shakespeare, Big Willie himself. Disney is notorious for neutering their source material this way. Bowers has Bowdlerized his own life- not just to protect his inner child, but also for the home audience. Best freakin’ fighters forever.. That’s a dollar for the swear jar! That is, until the shit hits the fan and the f-bombs start dropping- right before a real bomb goes off. Fun fact: Some freakin' idiot edited a line in The Tempest from “Full fathom five thy father lies” to “Thy Daddy’s dead, thy Daddy’s dead”.

I Think I <3 You

Chris’ favorite book is a twist on Where the Wild Things Are, and references to it pop up everywhere. It’s about an angry young boy called Max who turns his own bedroom into a fantasy world to escape his parents. He tames the beasts within and becomes the King of the Wild Things. Swimmers are Otters, football players are Bigfoots, Rachel’s a dragon and Chloe’s a shark. Max becomes an otter in Chloe’s water, and there’s a graffiti shark eating an otter on the wall outside. When Chloe looks at Mr. Sharkie, she says, “Fun fact: shark babies eat their siblings in the womb. Maybe that's why I'm an only child?" The Tin Man frightens Dorothy with the threat of wild animals the same way Sean teases Daniel. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! What a big foot you have, Grandma!
Daniel is always trying to one-up Sean and wants every animal he sees to be his pet- including the dragon in the clouds. He wants to be King of the Wild Things. Chloe tells Rodney and Rachel that no flamethrower, no army of robot ninjas, not even a dragon on a leash could stand in her way. Rachel is Frank’s Fire Flower flamethrower, his baby dragon in a bottle- the spark that sets Arcadia Bay ablaze, the inferno that roasts Duurgaron, and the hellfire he unleashes against all the raging bulls of his own private nightmare. A sentient tool, like Max the human camera/time machine or Esteban the living compass. On Chris’ wall there’s a drawing of Power Bear punching out Chloe, a ninja riding Rachel, and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fighting Hawt Dawg Man.
The Caped Eyeball is the one-eyed monster (One-Eyed Willie), the All-Seeing Eye, the Bad Dad that must be defeated. Frank is a hotdog harvesting hero, Kate’s backpacking monkey misses his banana, Hayden’s stealing all the pencils, Rachel’s rewriting Big Willie’s script and Barb punches the “stupid man cow” right in the dick. This is neither a banana nor a cigar nor a Mario Bros. pipe. How many sexually suggestive symbols can you spot in this picture of a Penis Bear sheath? Note the red and blue “spears” pointing towards the portal.
Next to the pirate ship in the hospital, there’s a toy robot and 3 stuffed animals: Chris’ Henry, Max’s Captain, and Victoria’s baby lion- which also appears in William’s car when Chloe is apologizing for decapitating Rachel. Mikey leaves a drawing of a time-travelling robot (Max) riding a T-Rex (Rachel) in Drew’s room. There’s a letter asking him for help with a robot in his hospital room. The same toy robot appears next to Robot Rachel, transforming into a Destructicon with the power of love. From magical child to destroyer of worlds, the Wild Thing that makes Frank’s heart sing. Jimi Hendrix, dressed all in red and yellow, made national news by sacrificing his red Stratocaster at the end of a performance of Wild Thing. He dry humped it, he fisted it and he painted it with lighter fluid squirted out of a mustard yellow bottle (positioned at crotch level). Then he set fire to it and smashed the shit out of it. It wasn’t very subtle. Spoiler alert: Max’s guitar is a sexual organ.

Lisztomaniac

Lisztomania was the Beatlemania of the 1800s. Franz Liszt was a composer and virtuoso pianist touring Europe. Fans began swarming him, throwing their underwear on stage and clamoring for souvenirs. Coffee grounds and cigar stumps for vials and lockets, a piano string to make a bracelet- anything to give them a personal connection. This was well before the time of radio and TV, and celebrity worship of musicians was a novel idea. Lisztomania was considered a contagious medical condition.
To use Samuel’s analogy, Franz’s fans went after him like squirrels chasing food. Eliot stalking Chloe is a mirror of Samuel stalking Rachel. Hans Christian Andersen said an electric shock passed through the room when Liszt entered, and a ray of sunlight passed over every face. Eliot writes “when she left the room it was electric” and Samuel says Rachel was sunlight. Eveline Hańska said Liszt’s glassy eyes sparkled like cut diamonds lit by his wit. Samuel says Rachel is a prism and a dragon made of diamonds. Eliot says Chloe’s eyes flash bright like coins (Mario coins?)
Franz was the social equal of kings and queens. Rachel is Blackwell royalty. When he skipped out on a lover in the middle of the night, she broke all the furniture in their hotel room. Like Daniel wrecking the Three Seals room, or Chloe smashing up the Junkyard, or Chloe throwing a fit when she finds the pictures of Rachel and Frank. Doctors tried to immunize people against Lisztomania, so Max says fuck you to the flu shot.
Lyla creeps up behind Sean as the boy on the bus listening to Phoenix’s Lisztomania walks away. Her bookbag straps are covered in little bombs, like the album cover. Manic pixie dream girls are a popular fantasy- the quirky girl that seems to exist solely to break the awkward male lead out of his shell. Chloe takes Max from chickenshit to Everyday Hero and Lyla is Sean’s personal love witch. She’s the devil feeding his obsession with Jenna, the way Victoria fuels Nathan's destructive desire for Rachel.
Figurines, avatars and people are all fungible to Frank. Almost everyone in LiS2 has a hard shell of unmoving hair, like a Ken doll. But Lyla has a headful of snakes that jiggle back and forth with every twitch of her head. There are two other people with living hair: Doris Stamper and post-accident Daniel. The movement is downright unnatural at times, glitching out like Officer Matthews' dashcam, or Sean's souvenirs.. or Max Headroom. Hair is a fixation for several serial killers. Frank from Maniac scalps women to bring his mannequins to life, Quentin weaves Squirrel’s pigtail into a bracelet, and George from The Lovely Bones keeps a bit of his victim’s hair in his secret serial killer sketchbook. The most treasured trophy a Franz Liszt superfan could receive was a lock of his hair. He received so many requests that he bought a dog to send people clippings of dog hair in lieu of his own.

Lyla Versus Powerman

There’s a lot of other weirdness surrounding Lyla. Her name sounds like the deflating lilo from Spanish Sahara, and she could be an aged-up Ayla from Can Ulkay's Ayla: Daughter of War. It's about a little Korean girl who's adopted by a Turkish soldier after her entire village is massacred- Frank's kind of story. There's also a horror movie called Ayla, about a 4-year-old sister brought back to life as an adult woman 30 years later. There’s a fuzzy red ball attached to her backpack, like a moogle’s pompom. Moogles are teddy bear fairies from Final Fantasy that speak in electronic squeaks. Every so often there’s a synthesized chirp in the background while Lyla chats with Daniel. Even stranger, someone keeps revving up a chain saw. Before Sean enters the gas station, he finds an advertisement for an Ash-82 posted by Sam R.
It's a reference to Sam Raimi’s The Evil Dead, the first movie to star Ash Williams- who Frank has blended in his mind with Ash Ketchum, the star of Pokémon. Chloe’s tape recorder, Daniel’s fear of the trees and Daemon Merrick’s fire pokér incident can all be traced to scenes from Evil Dead. In Evil Dead 2 Ash cuts off his possessed right hand and replaces it with a chainsaw, like Hook’s hook or Barb’s ripper fist. He eventually upgrades the chainsaw to a Power Glove. It’s a robotic claw, and before that it was a Nintendo accessory. Combining the two gives us the Power Bear claw machine.
There’s a circular saw in Esteban’s garage, and while he’s down there Lyla will text Sean threatening to take his hot dad. Father and son can discuss Sean’s essay on Slaughterhouse-Five. Remember Mikey’s Slaughter-Maze of Duurgaron? Remember in The Shining, when an axe-wielding Jack chases Danny around the maze? The last thing Sean says before going inside is “Hello, Friday night”, perhaps a reference to the gender-swapping villain of Friday the 13th. In Army of Darkness, Ash travels back to the Middle Ages, where he envisions himself as a king blowing away witches with his “boom stick”: a 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. Chloe helps Rose by fetching her broomstick, and dresses up as a witch for Halloween. First Samuel sweeps, and then he paints. The chainsaw is Sean’s brum-brumstick, and he cleans house with the help of Lyla the Love Witch. Sean is the barbarian slashing, stabbing and bashing his way through hordes of dragonkins. Lyla and Daniel are the mages, terrorizing them with fire and ice, lightning and acid.
In Luc Besson’s Léon: The Professional, a corrupt cop named Norman Stansfield doubles as the Big Bad Wolf. He looooves blasting Beethoven and popping pills before hunting little piggies with his shotgun. Léon is a professional “cleaner”, a supernaturally talented hitman who single-handedly blows away teams of bodyguards. He’s strictly a lone wolf, with only a houseplant for companionship- like Louis Bloom or Max’s Lisa- until he meets little Mathilda. When Norman murders her family Léon takes the girl under his wing. As he teaches her how to be a hitman- his partner in crime- he slowly becomes the Woodcutter to her Red Riding Hood. Mathilda even wears a red beanie to match his grey one. Chloe says to Rachel, “I’m the lone wolf, you’re Little Red Riding Hood.” When the Big Bad comes to blow their apartment down with rocket-propelled grenades, Léon hacks open an escape route for her with his axe: The Woodcutter cutting Red out of the Wolf’s belly. Fun fact: In Pulp Fiction, the Wolf is a different sort of cleaner- he cleans up other people’s mistakes, erasing all the bloody evidence.
Now, imagine for a moment that there is no Norman, and Léon isn’t such an amazing badass. He fantasizes about killing trained gunmen while he's slaughtering unarmed women and children in their homes. Fine and dandy when he’s blasted out of his mind- but when the buzz wears off and he sees a little girl return from the grocery store to find her dead family, it’s a rude awakening. So the Big Bad Wolf reluctantly becomes the Woodcutter. At the end Léon suicide bombs Norman and Mathilda goes back to being a schoolgirl. She’s the one telling his story, but she never actually saw who murdered her family. Frank is recreating this, and the noble sacrifice is his ultimate fantasy. Barb impaled on Duurgaron’s blade as she smashes his bracer, Chloe taking a bullet for the Bay, Jesus dying for our sins. Chloe’s sacrifice is her superhero ending.
Frank prepares to “jugulate” the Diazes with Phoenix’s Lisztomania, a song about a broken-hearted boy whose first love turned him into a wolf. For Rachel, it’s Broods’ Taking You There: “In the dead of night I'll meet you in my sleep, and in the morning light you'll wake up next to me.” The camera tracks Rachel and Chloe from the strangest angles: Frank’s POV as he stalks them from the bushes. He listens to Syd Matters’ To All of You, a song comparing American girls to dolls, before following Chloe into the girl’s room. Each time Frank descends into Hell as a devil and comes back up an angel. Reborn from the ashes like a phoenix, with a new face and a new Beanie Baby at his side. Chloe is the Corpse Bride of Frankenstein.

Talkin’ Chainsaws

The unidentified electronic twang from Lyla’s conversation also evokes Terry Cashman’s baseball song Willie, Mickey and the Duke, which has a similar sound effect when Terry time warps to the 1980s. There are many references to baseball: The glass lens, Frank’s cap, Brett and Frank’s tees, Chris’ baseball cards and Chloe’s bat. Harry Aaron Prescott is Sean Prescott’s father, and Hank Stamper is the bearish father figure that Sean must defeat. They’re both nicknames for Henry- as in Hammerin’ Hank Aaron, the man who broke Babe Ruth’s home run record. Chloe hammers the vending machine until it gives up its Baby Ruth. Chris’ teddy bear Henry is a chip off the old block. Most important of all is the ball and glove from Sean’s sketchbook. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre features Leatherface, a chainsaw wielding fellow who wears a home-made skin mask inspired by Ed Gein. It makes his head look like the unholy love child of an oversized baseball and its glove. Together, Lyla and Sean are Lilo and Stitch.
Bringing this insane mashup full circle is Fun and Fancy Free, a Disney double feature narrated in live-action sequences. The second half stars Mickey, Donald and Goofy as 3 peasants who face off vs Willie, a magical giant with the powers of flight, invisibility and shapeshifting. Willie the giant is the god-like father figure and Mickey is the rebellious young buck who slays him, like Mickey Knox. Except Willie resurrects at the end of the movie, escaping the cartoon and tearing the roof off the narrator’s house: William jumping out of Chloe’s dreams and into her truck. He’s Chloe’s dark passenger, à la Dexter Morgan: the childhood trauma driving her to kill.
To follow Frank’s train of thought, you have to let your mind flow in an abstract stream of consciousness, each idea merging into the next. He takes Bruce Lee’s words to heart- “Be formless, like water.” Willie, Mickey and the Duke begins “The Whiz Kids had won it”- to Frank, that’s Sidney Lumet’s The Wiz with Diana Ross as Dorothy and Michael Jackson as The Scarecrow. Hence the wizard teddy in Mikey’s room. Willie Mays could be the greatest five-tool baseball player of all time. Frank uses his father’s toolbox to do his work- Torches and icepicks and chainsaws, oh my! Mays shares his birth year and the year of his MLB debut with Mickey Mantle, possibly the greatest switch hitter of all time. Switch hitting, ambidexterity, gender fluidity and shapeshifting- the essence of Frank.
The Duke was a triple threat, excelling at baseball, basketball and football- perhaps why the Eriksens are a basketball family and the Norths are a football family. There’s a baseball movie called Major League where the players have recycled names like Willie Mays Hayes and The Duke. Charlie Sheen is “Wild Thing”, who becomes a star pitcher after getting glasses. Cashman’s song also has a line about Yogi Berra- the inspiration for Yogi Bear- reading the comics all the while. Daniel is Boo-Boo, Yogi’s baby bear sidekick. “Hey hey, Boo-Boo” becomes a text from Lyla calling Daniel her boo, and “We must not forget ze booze!”- that is, the boos.
The first half of Fun and Fancy Free is Bongo the bear’s coming of age tale as he battles Lumpjaw for Lulubelle’s paw. Bongo, of course, is the name of Chloe’s dead cat-not-really-a-cat. Hank Stamper is Lumpjaw. Jiminy Cricket is playing the story on a record player next to a doll (Lulu) and a teddy bear (Bongo). Bongo’s primary weapon is his unicycle, which he uses like a buzzsaw vs Lumpjaw’s vicious claws and giant tree cudgel. Chris plays his angelic mother’s old record when he wants to hear Moon and Moon. The singer is a huntress searching for a bear to lick her clean, a husband to come shoot the big bad hand that’s pushing her down. It seems Papa Power Bear put Baby in the corner.

Travis Keaton

Arthur Miller, the Trinity Killer from Dexter, has a predictable cycle. First he finds a 10-year-old boy and lures him to a hidden location. He pretends to be a cop to gain his trust. He makes the boy dress up in PJs and calls him Arthur as they play trains together. Then he feeds him special ice cream and buries the sleeping boy alive in cement. Arthur is Peter Panning himself, preserving his own innocence before “the accident”.
Next he finds a young woman like his sister Vera. He forces her into a bathtub with him, “hugging” her from behind as he slices an artery in her leg. He uses a hand mirror to watch her face as she bleeds out, then cleanses himself in a scalding hot shower. When Arthur was 10, he peeped on Vera in the shower. She saw his face in the mirror and slipped, crashing into the shower doors. A shard of glass cut her leg and she bled to death. Arthur lost his sister and his childhood innocence on the same day: Chloe losing William and Max back to back.
The third actor is a mother of two. He takes her up to a rooftop and orders her to jump. If she refuses he threatens her children. Arthur’s mother Marsha jumped off a bridge after Vera’s death. The final victim is an older man, preferably an alcoholic. Sometimes he splits this part between two men. He picks a fight with the first, allowing “Henry” to beat him down. Later he returns to bludgeon Henry with a hammer: Hammerin’ Hank. Henry blamed Arthur for Marsha and Vera’s deaths, making his life hell until Arthur got big enough to silence him. Charles blames Chris for Emily’s death and Chris clearly wants to kill him- he shoots Charles’ head, roasts his reflection and blows up his snow effigy. Chloe fantasizes about murdering David as she looks for his wrench. Esteban is in a very vulnerable position when “Sean” enters the garage- he can’t see who came in. When Brett picks a fight with Sean, he’s already covered in bloody hand prints.
Consider Jefferson’s master plan. First he takes photos of Kate “sleeping” like an angel- preserving her innocence on film. He releases the video of her corruption, encouraging other students to bully her. Jefferson acts like an older brother or a cool uncle, and he grooms Kate to see him as a father figure. When she comes to him for support he blames her and says she’s just looking for attention. If Max is sympathetic, he says Kate doth protest too much- basically calling her a slut. Innocent Kate is little Mark, and corrupted Kate is his mom jumping to her doom. If Jefferson and the Trinity Killer ever met, they’d be BFF.

Team Killer

Let me tell you about the other TK that Frank idolizes- Ted Kaczynski, the brilliant mathematician who tried to turn back the clock on civilization and rewind us to our hunter-gatherer roots. As a child he was temporarily quarantined in an isolation facility, leading him to empathize with caged animals. After scoring 167 on an IQ test he was skipped ahead to the 6th grade. Overnight he went from being a leader among his peers to an easy target for bullies. At 16 he got into Harvard on a scholarship, before he even got his driver’s license.
Ted lived in a residence at 8 Prescott St. before moving into the Eliot House dorms. At Harvard he was tricked into participating in a psychological study conducted by Henry Murray, who was rumored to be conducting studies as part of Project MKUltra- the CIA's attempt to create a mind control program through drugs, hypnosis, torture, sensory deprivation, and the sexual abuse of children. You can read about it on the CIA’s website. Ted was required to write essays about his hopes and beliefs, which were handed over to a man paid to bully and humiliate him. The sessions were filmed and the subjects were made to watch their own reactions to the abuse ad nauseam. This happened every week for 3 years.
In Ted’s mid-20s, his social isolation and sexual repression began to take its toll. The sounds of people having sex drove him crazy, and he believed his landlord was turning the other tenants against him. He dreamt of psychologists trying to control his mind and popping back up if he killed them. He went to see a psychiatrist planning to discuss a sex change operation. Ted didn’t identify as a woman, he just thought it was the only way he’d ever get to touch one. After a brief career in academia, he abruptly retired and retreated to a cabin in the woods. He planned to live with as little contact with society as possible, aside from occasionally biking to the library. When developers began to destroy the woods around his cabin, he decided that conflict was inevitable.
When Kaczynski’s mail bombs first started showing up, he was nicknamed the “Junkyard Bomber” because they were all made from readily available scrap. The first was a pipe bomb with wooden plugs inside a handmade wooden box. When opened, a trigger would strike the matches and ignite the bomb. He often included bits of bark, and two of his targets were named Wood. His final bomb killed a lobbyist for Big Timber. Ted worked alone- obviously- but he included little messages between imaginary co-conspirators to throw off investigators. He inscribed his bombs with the initials FC, for Freedom Club. His manifesto never refers to himself in the singular, always we or FC. It’s like he saw himself as a superhero in the Justice League. His nickname was changed to the Unabomber because he targeted universities and airplanes, including a bomb in the cargo hold of American Airlines Flight 444
Warren is the Unabomber. At 16, he’s quite gifted and one of the youngest students at Blackwell. He fights with Nathan Prescott, the typical rich bully riding his Dad’s coattails, and is friends with Eliot: 8 Prescott St. and Eliot House. Eliot’s dorm is almost as woody as Rachel's house, and he argues with Warren about Ed Wood. 44 Cedar St. isn’t just referring to Child 44 and Zombie- it’s a layered reference to Flight 444 and TK’s obsession with wood. Eliot sketched the rocket that appears on Daniel’s t-shirt. The psychic bomber built Sean’s rocket out of a used toilet roll, duct tape and matchsticks. Lyla the love bomber hates airplanes.
Max has to respond to Warren’s text before he blows up her phone. He teaches her to build a pipe bomb from odds and ends lying around the school so she can break into Principal Wells’ office. It’s revenge against the ivory tower father figure who let his cries for help fall upon deaf ears, like when Max tried to report Nathan’s gun. They’re blowing open a doorway into Wells’ mind- making him listen- the same way Chris blows up his ciggy butt snowfather with an exploding “cigar”. The Junkyard is everyone’s secret hideout, a natural location for the Junkyard Bomber and his Freedom Club. Chloe wishes the whole town would get nuked, and if you let the storm wipe it out nature will reclaim Arcadia Bay.

Munchkin Murder

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans” is the lyric from Beautiful Boy that Jefferson likes to quote. It’s a song John Lennon wrote to comfort his son Sean after a nightmare. Lennon was a great artist but a terrible person in a lot of ways, including beating women and abandoning his first son, Julian. Mark David Chapman was a Beatles megafan with a troubled childhood. His father abused his mother, his mother constantly told him he was destined for greatness, and the children at school bullied him. He described his mom as “right out of Glass Menagerie”- the Tennessee Williams’ play on Rachel’s board o’ inspirations. Like Max in Where the Wild Things Are, he made a fantasy world inside his room, with a town of people that lived in the walls and worshipped King Mark. When he was happy they went about their daily jobs, and he gave them Beatles concerts put on by toy soldiers on a cardboard stage. When he was angry he smashed the town and murdered little people by the thousands.
After hitting puberty, his fantasy changed to having a secret dungeon in the basement of his school filled with women that he touched but didn’t have sex with. On the plane Max learns that none of Jefferson’s victims were physically or sexually assaulted. At 12 a little girl he’d decided was his one true love broke his heart, and he obsessed over her for the rest of his life. Years after Max left the Bay, Chloe is still writing her angry journal entries (but ready to take her back in a heartbeat). At 14 he started using drugs and ran away from home, living on the streets for a couple of weeks. After one hell of an acid trip he thought he’d become John Lennon. At 16 he discovered Holden, the Catcher in the Rye. His favorite movie was Wizard of Oz and he also identified with Dorothy. As an adult he became a very popular summer camp counselor. The kids called him Nemo, after Captain Nemo from Jules Verne’s 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Chris has a Nemo submarine in his bathtub. Mark also worked briefly as a security guard.
Mark became a born-again Christian in 1970, four years after John Lennon declared the Beatles were more popular than Jesus. The comment stuck with him for the next 10 years. His mental health ebbed and flowed, alternately attempting suicide and trying to reenact Verne’s Around the World in 80 Days. The “little people” returned to Chapman’s head and he developed a persecution complex. He tried to change his name to Holden Caulfield and became fixated on saving kids from falling off the cliff of phoniness.
The breaking point came when he found a book full of photographs of John Lennon showing off his wealth- the height of hypocrisy for the man who penned Imagine. Mark started stripping naked, playing Beatles records and begging Satan to lend him his power. In 1980 he flew to New York to stop John Lennon from leading any more children to their doom. He hired a prostitute and gave her a massage instead of having sex with her, mirroring Holden’s experience. He left a little shrine on the hotel dresser with mementos from his life, including a postcard of Dorothy wiping away a tear from the Cowardly Lion. Before shooting Lennon Mark bought another copy of Catcher in the Rye, believing that afterwards he would curl up into a ball and vanish into the pages of the book. In his statement to the police, he said he was split in two parts. The big part was Holden Caulfield, and the small part- his child self- was the Devil, urging him to kill.

Dancing in the Dark

This is Donnie Darko, his little sister Samantha and her stuffed unicorn Ariel. They’re chilling in a motel room watching TV because their home was wrecked in a freak accident: a red and white spiraled jet engine landed directly on Donnie's room. The funny thing is, there was no plane flying overhead. Donnie narrowly avoided being crushed because a man in a giant rabbit suit named Frank told him to wake up and walk outside.
Frank starts paying Donnie nightly visits because he stopped taking his medications. The last time Donnie was unmedicated, he started setting buildings on fire. At night he becomes a sleepwalking zombie, taking his marching orders from Frank. The night that he escapes the jet engine Donnie sleepwalks out to a golf course where Frank tells him the world will end in 28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes and 12 seconds. He wakes up with a black marker in his hand and 28:06:42:12 on his arm- the same way Chloe wakes up with words like “Nevermore” written on her palm. The same way the insomniac Lyla uses Sean as her human post-it note. She tells Sean he’ll see more of her skills if he falls asleep first. Frank uses Donnie like Dr. Caligari uses Cesare. Every time Frank tells him to “wake up”, Donnie activates and does his bidding. Before Chloe burns down The Tree with Rachel, her dream graffiti options are “wake up” or “wake up”. The episode is titled Awake.
Donnie’s hallucinations are seeded just like Frank Bowers'. The mysterious jet engine was spawned from the roar of planes flying overhead as he waits for the school bus. You can hear the planes as Lyla walks Sean home from the bus. As she points one out the power line bisects the screen, mirroring the moment when Sean considers calling her back. It also hints at a split personality. In the Title Screen there are two porch umbrellas outside Sean’s house, a grey one on top of a green one. In game there is only the green one. Samantha writes a little story about Ariel leading a prince into a magical world. Frank is a twisted Ariel, Donnie’s White Rabbit leading him into Wonderland. Donnie's girlfriend says his name sounds made up, like a superhero. To change into his costume he simply flips up his hoodie, no telephone booth required.
Donnie’s science teacher is a hip young professor called Kenneth Monnitoff. It’s never explained why a professor is teaching at a high school. He tells Donnie that, in theory, a metal spacecraft flying faster than the speed of light could pass through a wormhole to travel back in time. In fact, any metal craft will do- a DeLorean, an airplane or a one-eyed rocket. When Max rewinds her broken camera in Jefferson’s class, she declares herself a human time machine. Her sketchbook has a drawing of a rather phallic looking rocket, with an arrow pointing to the cap that says “me”. Next to it stands a little character that looks like a cross between Frank the rabbit and Max from Wild Things. Both the squirrel in the woods and the demon Mushroom that Daniel is playing with in the motel look like they’re morphing into Frank- who, by the way, is one-eyed underneath the suit. The giant Wild Thing is a baby chick powered up- a magical child wielding its awesome powers on Frank’s behalf.
There’s another teacher at Donnie’s school named Kitty Farmer. She’s the coach of Sparkle Motion, the junior dance squad that Samantha belongs to. Kitty worships Jim Cunningham, a local self-help author and motivational speaker. He runs a talent show that leads to Sparkle Motion being selected to fly out to LA to perform on Ed McMahon’s Star Search. It’s very similar to the setup where Jefferson selects an Everyday Hero to go to San Francisco. Jim Cunningham has a secret “kiddie porn dungeon” in his home, and the implication is that Kitty is grooming children for him: Kitty Farmer is a Kiddie Farmer. Donnie is watching a double feature of The Evil Dead and Martin Scorsese’s The Last Temptation of Christ when Frank opens a portal in the movie screen for him, showing him Jim Cunningham’s house and instructing him to burn it down. Donnie commits several attacks inspired by The Last Temptation- he sees himself as Jesus and Jim Cunningham (JC) as the Antichrist. Sadly, that’s a story for Part V.
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2018.11.02 02:54 handcrankedandroid The Super Smash Bros.' Last TV Supper

Max and Chloe don’t exist. They’re Peter Pan and Tinker Bell, the magical child and the manic pixie dream girl. Rachel is Max aged up, reborn and transformed in a ritual of fiery lust. Chloe is the Kewpie mayo, Max is the mustard and Rachel is the ketchup (or hawt sauce) to Frank’s Hawt Dawg Man. This is Brody’s backpack, courtesy of Kalikabanos Apparently, Mushroom is a “reused asset” from Max’s journal. Here’s the little angel Kate, sketching a noose on the The Tree from the Overlook. The same tree that 16-year-old Chloe draws 18-year-old Max being hanged from, even though Max was 13 the last time they saw each other. Next up is Kate's diagram of quantum entanglement (maybe?), which looks like Brody’s hobo symbol for “get out quick”- two people escaping through a portal, or two spears penetrating an eyeball (pump the eyeball to get out of class early). The same Kate who drew a little one-eyed wolf wearing a bandolier, just like the bearry-blue Sky Pirate and his 3 foam bullets, just like Captain Bluebeard and her 3 bullet necklace. The same Kate who was saved from falling off Blackwell by Miracle Max the magical child, just like Chris was saved from falling off a ladder by Daniel. Confused yet?
Blackwell is full of artsy kids because they’re all fragments of Frank, the man who animated them. Kate has two classmates who like to sketch, Daniel DaCosta and Stella, and all 3 of them sit at the same table in the nightmare diner. Birds of a feather flock together. Sean and Max are sketch artists too, always outlining their surroundings. She fills her journal with sketches of the day’s events. The Diaz brothers are Kate’s little wolves. Chris is Frank’s inner child, powered by youthful creativity. Charles is Frank as a washed-up athlete in a Springsteen music video, reliving his glory days through the TV. William is Frank all cleaned up, the too-good-to-be-true sitcom dad. He's not content being Dorothy- he wants to be the Wicked Witch, the Wizard of Oz and all the characters in between.
Chris is a sponge, soaking up pop culture from a million different sources to lay the subliminal groundwork for future Frank’s fantasy world. Everything he consumes is thrown into the mental blender along with his own life story. Each time TV’s Frank pushes the button a new schizophrenic smoothie pops out- LiS, BtS, and LiS2- but that same great Frank flavor always rises to the top. Beaver Creek is a combination of Leave it to Beaver and Wolf Creek, Greg McLean’s horror film about Australian backpackers being hunted by a serial killer. When Mark Jefferson calls his class “pesky kids” and yells at Max for snooping around the Dark Room, he’s mimicking an unmasked Scooby Doo villain: “And I’d have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!” The scene shifts every time you switch the lens- Rachel sees her lying dad kissing his mistress. James sees himself saving Rachel from a bad influence. Chloe sees a corrupt politician giving an angel the kiss of death.
Red, yellow and blue: The primary colors are very popular with comic book colorists, movie poster makers and Chris Eriksen. USA and Pepsi Cola, Hulk Hogan and Mickey D’s. Combine all 3 and you get Superman, the ultimate superhero. Click the CS title screen and the words flip from mustard yellow to ketchup red. All the logos were hand-crafted by Chris, yellow on the front and red on the back. Sean kicks aside the red, yellow and blue toy truck- the one from Chris’ house- before sitting down with Lyla. Chris uses the blue and yellow Power Bear to recreate Bane breaking Batman’s back. Choosy Diazes choose Bane brand ketchup. You and I merely watch the television. Chris was born in it, molded by it. He’s Max Headroom inside the boob tube, a deer in the snow globe. He’s Eminem (M&M) dressed up as Robin, Franklin the (Teenage Mutant Ninja) Turtle wearing a Fistful of Dollars-style scrap iron vest as his turtle shell. His shirt represents all the characters inside of him, heroes and villains alike.

Got My Mind Hallucinatin’

All of Frank’s hallucinations are birthed from a little seed, something that catches his ear or strikes his eye. It worms its way into his subconscious, a gut feeling that grows and grows until it explodes outward like a psychedelic chestburster. When something irritating invades an oyster’s shell, the oyster will wrap it in many layers of calcium carbonate before finishing it off with an iridescent coating of nacre. The result is a pearl, a strange and wonderful little orb concealing something unpleasant. An alluring fantasy built around a kernel of truth.
Frank’s pearls consist of 3 main parts. The first is an irritant, like a family that reminds him of his own. He responds by smothering it- Frank murders the father and “liberates” the mothechild. As Daniel says, “The mom was nice, the dad was kind of a weenie.” The third piece is the shiny sugar-nacre coating. He reimagines his actions as a sweet and sour adventure in Francis’ Fantasia, the delicious outer layer of Willie’s Everlasting Gobstopper. The dead are resurrected into, in the words of Matt Groening, “a sort of weird, zombified ideal of the American family”. A beautiful lie to protect his own innocence. Sean tells Daniel they’re going on a grand adventure, James hides Sera from Rachel, and nobody knows what William was lying bout. Sean makes a game of it to see how far they can walk. It's reminiscent of Life is Beautiful, Roberto Benigni’s movie about a Jewish family sent to a concentration camp. The dad spares his son from the horror by convincing him that they're all competitors in a grand game to win a battle tank.
Video games train us to see the world as our piñata. Smash these urns, slash that grass, run over those pedestrians and be rewarded with a grab bag of goodies. Mario bashes blocks and all sorts of powerups and coins pop out. Magic Mushrooms to embiggen the body, Super Leaves for a flying raccoon suit and Fire Flowers to become his fire form. If he snags a Super Star, he becomes temporarily invincible. The gas station is where all the seeds from the woods come to fruition for the Diazes. They read warnings about bears and see claw marks on the trees, then encounter a gas station run by a Mama and Papa bear with a bunch of bear carvings. They find a bunch of crazy mushrooms and up pops Mushroom in a basket. They spot a raccoon and Shazam! there’s a raccoon suit for sale. If Sean checks his bag it’s full of leaves- Super Leaves.
Sean listens to “On the Flip of a Coin”, raids the coin jar and uses a rock to force open the money box at the park. As Daniel plays the Power Bear claw machine he says he’s gonna “beat this boss”. He wins a Minibear, a red plastic egg with a baby Power Bear inside. Like Poké Balls or Chloe’s snow globe collection, the Catcher in the Rye’s gotta catch ‘em all. Frank is Megaman going from boss to boss, collecting their “tiny tools” and leveling up with each conquest. When Daniel power bombs the bear boss, the Super Diaz Bros. are showered in loot. Daniel-Sean is the young bear come to take down the grizzled Hank Stamper. Daniel even calls his bedroom the Bear Lair.
It’s a Peter Pan plan in action, over and over: Frank breaks into a house, kills the father and steals the child. Pompidou, Mushroom, and Baby Rachel were all taken from the rich to give to the poor. When Samuel's waxing poetic about Rachel, he calls her a good egg: a baby dragon. In the drama lab dressing room, Mario’s mystery block is floating behind Chloe. Rachel asks if she brought her flowers. Later they set fire to The Tree together, and Chloe rescues some flowers from her trashcan. The rope from the fallen tire swing forms a question mark as she cracks open the viewfinder to collect its coin. Life needs a little mystery, Chloe.
Flip of the Coin recommends that Sean leave his fate in the hands of a coin flip. But the flip is rigged by you, deciding which fork he should take. Frank can feel your eye gazing down upon him, your hand tugging at the strings. He’s been a very bad boy, so he hides his naughtiness under the blanket. Thomas Bowdler was the man who censored Shakespeare, Big Willie himself. Disney is notorious for neutering their source material this way. Bowers has Bowdlerized his own life- not just to protect his inner child, but also for the home audience. Best freakin’ fighters forever.. That’s a dollar for the swear jar! That is, until the shit hits the fan and the f-bombs start dropping- right before a real bomb goes off. Fun fact: Some freakin' idiot edited a line in The Tempest from “Full fathom five thy father lies” to “Thy Daddy’s dead, thy Daddy’s dead”.

I Think I <3 You

Chris’ favorite book is a twist on Where the Wild Things Are, and references to it pop up everywhere. It’s about an angry young boy called Max who turns his own bedroom into a fantasy world to escape his parents. He tames the beasts within and becomes the King of the Wild Things. Swimmers are Otters, football players are Bigfoots, Rachel’s a dragon and Chloe’s a shark. Max becomes an otter in Chloe’s water, and there’s a graffiti shark eating an otter on the wall outside. When Chloe looks at Mr. Sharkie, she says, “Fun fact: shark babies eat their siblings in the womb. Maybe that's why I'm an only child?" The Tin Man frightens Dorothy with the threat of wild animals the same way Sean teases Daniel. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! What a big foot you have, Grandma!
Daniel is always trying to one-up Sean and wants every animal he sees to be his pet- including the dragon in the clouds. He wants to be King of the Wild Things. Chloe tells Rodney and Rachel that no flamethrower, no army of robot ninjas, not even a dragon on a leash could stand in her way. Rachel is Frank’s Fire Flower flamethrower, his baby dragon in a bottle- the spark that sets Arcadia Bay ablaze, the inferno that roasts Duurgaron, and the hellfire he unleashes against all the raging bulls of his own private nightmare. A sentient tool, like Max the human camera/time machine or Esteban the living compass. On Chris’ wall there’s a drawing of Power Bear punching out Chloe, a ninja riding Rachel, and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fighting Hawt Dawg Man.
The Caped Eyeball is the one-eyed monster (One-Eyed Willie), the All-Seeing Eye, the Bad Dad that must be defeated. Frank is a hotdog harvesting hero, Kate’s backpacking monkey misses his banana, Hayden’s stealing all the pencils, Rachel’s rewriting Big Willie’s script and Barb punches the “stupid man cow” right in the dick. This is neither a banana nor a cigar nor a Mario Bros. pipe. How many sexually suggestive symbols can you spot in this picture of a Penis Bear sheath? Note the red and blue “spears” pointing towards the portal.
Next to the pirate ship in the hospital, there’s a toy robot and 3 stuffed animals: Chris’ Henry, Max’s Captain, and Victoria’s baby lion- which also appears in William’s car when Chloe is apologizing for decapitating Rachel. Mikey leaves a drawing of a time-travelling robot (Max) riding a T-Rex (Rachel) in Drew’s room. There’s a letter asking him for help with a robot in his hospital room. The same toy robot appears next to Robot Rachel, transforming into a Destructicon with the power of love. From magical child to destroyer of worlds, the Wild Thing that makes Frank’s heart sing. Jimi Hendrix, dressed all in red and yellow, made national news by sacrificing his red Stratocaster at the end of a performance of Wild Thing. He dry humped it, he fisted it and he painted it with lighter fluid squirted out of a mustard yellow bottle (positioned at crotch level). Then he set fire to it and smashed the shit out of it. It wasn’t very subtle. Spoiler alert: Max’s guitar is a sexual organ.

Lisztomaniac

Lisztomania was the Beatlemania of the 1800s. Franz Liszt was a composer and virtuoso pianist touring Europe. Fans began swarming him, throwing their underwear on stage and clamoring for souvenirs. Coffee grounds and cigar stumps for vials and lockets, a piano string to make a bracelet- anything to give them a personal connection. This was well before the time of radio and TV, and celebrity worship of musicians was a novel idea. Lisztomania was considered a contagious medical condition.
To use Samuel’s analogy, Franz’s fans went after him like squirrels chasing food. Eliot stalking Chloe is a mirror of Samuel stalking Rachel. Hans Christian Andersen said an electric shock passed through the room when Liszt entered, and a ray of sunlight passed over every face. Eliot writes “when she left the room it was electric” and Samuel says Rachel was sunlight. Eveline Hańska said Liszt’s glassy eyes sparkled like cut diamonds lit by his wit. Samuel says Rachel is a prism and a dragon made of diamonds. Eliot says Chloe’s eyes flash bright like coins (Mario coins?)
Franz was the social equal of kings and queens. Rachel is Blackwell royalty. When he skipped out on a lover in the middle of the night, she broke all the furniture in their hotel room. Like Daniel wrecking the Three Seals room, or Chloe smashing up the Junkyard, or Chloe throwing a fit when she finds the pictures of Rachel and Frank. Doctors tried to immunize people against Lisztomania, so Max says fuck you to the flu shot.
Lyla creeps up behind Sean as the boy on the bus listening to Phoenix’s Lisztomania walks away. Her bookbag straps are covered in little bombs, like the album cover. Manic pixie dream girls are a popular fantasy- the quirky girl that seems to exist solely to break the awkward male lead out of his shell. Chloe takes Max from chickenshit to Everyday Hero and Lyla is Sean’s personal love witch. She’s the devil feeding his obsession with Jenna, the way Victoria fuels Nathan's destructive desire for Rachel.
Figurines, avatars and people are all fungible to Frank. Almost everyone in LiS2 has a hard shell of unmoving hair, like a Ken doll. But Lyla has a headful of snakes that jiggle back and forth with every twitch of her head. There are two other people with living hair: Doris Stamper and post-accident Daniel. The movement is downright unnatural at times, glitching out like Officer Matthews' dashcam, or Sean's souvenirs.. or Max Headroom. Hair is a fixation for several serial killers. Frank from Maniac scalps women to bring his mannequins to life, Quentin weaves Squirrel’s pigtail into a bracelet, and George from The Lovely Bones keeps a bit of his victim’s hair in his secret serial killer sketchbook. The most treasured trophy a Franz Liszt superfan could receive was a lock of his hair. He received so many requests that he bought a dog to send people clippings of dog hair in lieu of his own.

Lyla Versus Powerman

There’s a lot of other weirdness surrounding Lyla. Her name sounds like the deflating lilo from Spanish Sahara, and she could be an aged-up Ayla from Can Ulkay's Ayla: Daughter of War. It's about a little Korean girl who's adopted by a Turkish soldier after her entire village is massacred- Frank's kind of story. There's also a horror movie called Ayla, about a 4-year-old sister brought back to life as an adult woman 30 years later. There’s a fuzzy red ball attached to her backpack, like a moogle’s pompom. Moogles are teddy bear fairies from Final Fantasy that speak in electronic squeaks. Every so often there’s a synthesized chirp in the background while Lyla chats with Daniel. Even stranger, someone keeps revving up a chain saw.. Before Sean enters the gas station, he finds an advertisement for an Ash-82 posted by Sam R.
It's a reference to Sam Raimi’s The Evil Dead, the first movie to star Ash Williams- who Frank has blended in his mind with Ash Ketchum, the star of Pokémon. Chloe’s tape recorder, Daniel’s fear of the trees and Daemon Merrick’s fire pokér incident can all be traced to scenes from Evil Dead. In Evil Dead 2 Ash cuts off his possessed right hand and replaces it with a chainsaw, like Hook’s hook or Barb’s ripper fist. He eventually upgrades the chainsaw to a Power Glove. It’s a robotic claw, and before that it was a Nintendo accessory. Combining the two gives us the Power Bear claw machine.
There’s a circular saw in Esteban’s garage, and while he’s down there Lyla will text Sean threatening to take his hot dad. Father and son can discuss Sean’s essay on Slaughterhouse-Five. Remember Mikey’s Slaughter-Maze of Duurgaron? Remember in The Shining, when an axe-wielding Jack chases Danny around the maze? The last thing Sean says before going inside is “Hello, Friday night”, perhaps a reference to the gender-swapping villain of Friday the 13th. In Army of Darkness, Ash travels back to the Middle Ages, where he envisions himself as a king blowing away witches with his “boom stick”: a 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. Chloe helps Rose by fetching her broomstick, and dresses up as a witch for Halloween. First Samuel sweeps, and then he paints. The chainsaw is Sean’s brum-brumstick, and he cleans house with the help of Lyla the Love Witch. Sean is the barbarian slashing, stabbing and bashing his way through hordes of dragonkins. Lyla and Daniel are the mages, terrorizing them with fire and ice, lightning and acid.
In Luc Besson’s Léon: The Professional, a corrupt cop named Norman Stansfield doubles as the Big Bad Wolf. He looooves blasting Beethoven and popping pills before hunting little piggies with his shotgun. Léon is a professional “cleaner”, a supernaturally talented hitman who single-handedly blows away teams of bodyguards. He’s strictly a lone wolf, with only a houseplant for companionship- like Louis Bloom or Max’s Lisa- until he meets little Mathilda. When Norman murders her family Léon takes the girl under his wing. As he teaches her how to be a hitman- his partner in crime- he slowly becomes the Woodcutter to her Red Riding Hood. Mathilda even wears a red beanie to match his grey one. Chloe says to Rachel, “I’m the lone wolf, you’re Little Red Riding Hood.” When the Big Bad comes to blow their apartment down with rocket-propelled grenades, Léon hacks open an escape route for her with his axe: The Woodcutter cutting Red out of the Wolf’s belly. Fun fact: In Pulp Fiction, the Wolf is a different sort of cleaner- he cleans up other people’s mistakes, erasing all the bloody evidence.
Now, imagine for a moment that there is no Norman, and Léon isn’t such an amazing badass. He fantasizes about killing trained gunmen while he's slaughtering unarmed women and children in their homes. Fine and dandy when he’s blasted out of his mind- but when the buzz wears off and he sees a little girl return from the grocery store to find her dead family, it’s a rude awakening. So the Big Bad Wolf reluctantly becomes the Woodcutter. At the end Léon suicide bombs Norman and Mathilda goes back to being a schoolgirl. She’s the one telling his story, but she never actually saw who murdered her family. Frank is recreating this, and the noble sacrifice is his ultimate fantasy. Barb impaled on Duurgaron’s blade as she smashes his bracer, Chloe taking a bullet for the Bay, Jesus dying for our sins. Chloe’s sacrifice is her superhero ending.
Frank prepares to “jugulate” the Diazes with Phoenix’s Lisztomania, a song about a broken-hearted boy whose first love turned him into a wolf. For Rachel, it’s Broods’ Taking You There: “In the dead of night I'll meet you in my sleep, and in the morning light you'll wake up next to me.” The camera tracks Rachel and Chloe from the strangest angles: Frank’s POV as he stalks them from the bushes. He listens to Syd Matters’ To All of You, a song comparing American girls to dolls, before following Chloe into the girl’s room. Each time Frank descends into Hell as a devil and comes back up an angel. Reborn from the ashes like a phoenix, with a new face and a new Beanie Baby at his side. Chloe is the Corpse Bride of Frankenstein.

Talkin’ Chainsaws

The unidentified electronic twang from Lyla’s conversation also evokes Terry Cashman’s baseball song Willie, Mickey and the Duke, which has a similar sound effect when Terry time warps to the 1980s. There are many references to baseball: The glass lens, Frank’s cap, Brett and Frank’s tees, Chris’ baseball cards and Chloe’s bat. Harry Aaron Prescott is Sean Prescott’s father, and Hank Stamper is the bearish father figure that Sean must defeat. They’re both nicknames for Henry- as in Hammerin’ Hank Aaron, the man who broke Babe Ruth’s home run record. Chloe hammers the vending machine until it gives up its Baby Ruth. Chris’ teddy bear Henry is a chip off the old block. Most important of all is the ball and glove from Sean’s sketchbook. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre features Leatherface, a chainsaw wielding fellow who wears a home-made skin mask inspired by Ed Gein. It makes his head look like the unholy love child of an oversized baseball and its glove. Together, Lyla and Sean are Lilo and Stitch.
Bringing this insane mashup full circle is Fun and Fancy Free, a Disney double feature narrated in live-action sequences. The second half stars Mickey, Donald and Goofy as 3 peasants who face off vs Willie, a magical giant with the powers of flight, invisibility and shapeshifting. Willie the giant is the god-like father figure and Mickey is the rebellious young buck who slays him, like Mickey Knox. Except Willie resurrects at the end of the movie, escaping the cartoon and tearing the roof off the narrator’s house: William jumping out of Chloe’s dreams and into her truck. He’s Chloe’s dark passenger, à la Dexter Morgan: the childhood trauma driving her to kill.
To follow Frank’s train of thought, you have to let your mind flow in an abstract stream of consciousness, each idea merging into the next. He takes Bruce Lee’s words to heart- “Be formless, like water.” Willie, Mickey and the Duke begins “The Whiz Kids had won it”- to Frank, that’s Sidney Lumet’s The Wiz with Diana Ross as Dorothy and Michael Jackson as The Scarecrow. Hence the wizard teddy in Mikey’s room. Willie Mays could be the greatest five-tool baseball player of all time. Frank uses his father’s toolbox to do his work- Torches and icepicks and chainsaws, oh my! Mays shares his birth year and the year of his MLB debut with Mickey Mantle, possibly the greatest switch hitter of all time. Switch hitting, ambidexterity, gender fluidity and shapeshifting- the essence of Frank.
The Duke was a triple threat, excelling at baseball, basketball and football- perhaps why the Eriksens are a basketball family and the Norths are a football family. There’s a baseball movie called Major League where the players have recycled names like Willie Mays Hayes and The Duke. Charlie Sheen is “Wild Thing”, who becomes a star pitcher after getting glasses. Cashman’s song also has a line about Yogi Berra- the inspiration for Yogi Bear- reading the comics all the while. Daniel is Boo-Boo, Yogi’s baby bear sidekick. “Hey hey, Boo-Boo” becomes a text from Lyla calling Daniel her boo, and “We must not forget ze booze!”- that is, the boos.
The first half of Fun and Fancy Free is Bongo the bear’s coming of age tale as he battles Lumpjaw for Lulubelle’s paw. Bongo, of course, is the name of Chloe’s dead cat-not-really-a-cat. Hank Stamper is Lumpjaw. Jiminy Cricket is playing the story on a record player next to a doll (Lulu) and a teddy bear (Bongo). Bongo’s primary weapon is his unicycle, which he uses like a buzzsaw vs Lumpjaw’s vicious claws and giant tree cudgel. Chris plays his angelic mother’s old record when he wants to hear Moon and Moon. The singer is a huntress searching for a bear to lick her clean, a husband to come shoot the big bad hand that’s pushing her down. It seems Papa Power Bear put Baby in the corner.

Travis Keaton

Arthur Miller, the Trinity Killer from Dexter, has a predictable cycle. First he finds a 10-year-old boy and lures him to a hidden location. He pretends to be a cop to gain his trust. He makes the boy dress up in PJs and calls him Arthur as they play trains together. Then he feeds him special ice cream and buries the sleeping boy alive in cement. Arthur is Peter Panning himself, preserving his own innocence before “the accident”.
Next he finds a young woman like his sister Vera. He forces her into a bathtub with him, “hugging” her from behind as he slices an artery in her leg. He uses a hand mirror to watch her face as she bleeds out, then cleanses himself in a scalding hot shower. When Arthur was 10, he peeped on Vera in the shower. She saw his face in the mirror and slipped, crashing into the shower doors. A shard of glass cut her leg and she bled to death. Arthur lost his sister and his childhood innocence on the same day: Chloe losing William and Max back to back.
The third actor is a mother of two. He takes her up to a rooftop and orders her to jump. If she refuses he threatens her children. Arthur’s mother Marsha jumped off a bridge after Vera’s death. The final victim is an older man, preferably an alcoholic. Sometimes he splits this part between two men. He picks a fight with the first, allowing “Henry” to beat him down. Later he returns to bludgeon Henry with a hammer: Hammerin’ Hank. Henry blamed Arthur for Marsha and Vera’s deaths, making his life hell until Arthur got big enough to silence him. Charles blames Chris for Emily’s death and Chris clearly wants to kill him- he shoots Charles’ head, roasts his reflection and blows up his snow effigy. Chloe fantasizes about murdering David as she looks for his wrench. Esteban is in a very vulnerable position when “Sean” enters the garage- he can’t see who came in. When Brett picks a fight with Sean, he’s already covered in bloody hand prints.
Consider Jefferson’s master plan. First he takes photos of Kate “sleeping” like an angel- preserving her innocence on film. He releases the video of her corruption, encouraging other students to bully her. Jefferson acts like an older brother or a cool uncle, and he grooms Kate to see him as a father figure. When she comes to him for support he blames her and says she’s just looking for attention. If Max is sympathetic, he says Kate doth protest too much- basically calling her a slut. Innocent Kate is little Mark, and corrupted Kate is his mom jumping to her doom. If Jefferson and the Trinity Killer ever met, they’d be BFF.

Team Killer

Let me tell you about the other TK that Frank idolizes- Ted Kaczynski, the brilliant mathematician who tried to turn back the clock on civilization and rewind us to our hunter-gatherer roots. As a child he was temporarily quarantined in an isolation facility, leading him to empathize with caged animals. After scoring 167 on an IQ test he was skipped ahead to the 6th grade. Overnight he went from being a leader among his peers to an easy target for bullies. At 16 he got into Harvard on a scholarship, before he even got his driver’s license.
Ted lived in a residence at 8 Prescott St. before moving into the Eliot House dorms. At Harvard he was tricked into participating in a psychological study conducted by Henry Murray, who was rumored to be conducting studies as part of Project MKUltra- the CIA's attempt to create a mind control program through drugs, hypnosis, torture, sensory deprivation, and the sexual abuse of children. You can read about it on the CIA’s website. Ted was required to write essays about his hopes and beliefs, which were handed over to a man paid to bully and humiliate him. The sessions were filmed and the subjects were made to watch their own reactions to the abuse ad nauseam. This happened every week for 3 years.
In Ted’s mid-20s, his social isolation and sexual repression began to take its toll. The sounds of people having sex drove him crazy, and he believed his landlord was turning the other tenants against him. He dreamt of psychologists trying to control his mind and popping back up if he killed them. He went to see a psychiatrist planning to discuss a sex change operation. Ted didn’t identify as a woman, he just thought it was the only way he’d ever get to touch one. After a brief career in academia, he abruptly retired and retreated to a cabin in the woods. He planned to live with as little contact with society as possible, aside from occasionally biking to the library. When developers began to destroy the woods around his cabin, he decided that conflict was inevitable.
When Kaczynski’s mail bombs first started showing up, he was nicknamed the “Junkyard Bomber” because they were all made from readily available scrap. The first was a pipe bomb with wooden plugs inside a handmade wooden box. When opened, a trigger would strike the matches and ignite the bomb. He often included bits of bark, and two of his targets were named Wood. His final bomb killed a lobbyist for Big Timber. Ted worked alone- obviously- but he included little messages between imaginary co-conspirators to throw off investigators. He inscribed his bombs with the initials FC, for Freedom Club. His manifesto never refers to himself in the singular, always we or FC. It’s like he saw himself as a superhero in the Justice League. His nickname was changed to the Unabomber because he targeted universities and airplanes, including a bomb in the cargo hold of American Airlines Flight 444
Warren is the Unabomber. At 16, he’s quite gifted and one of the youngest students at Blackwell. He fights with Nathan Prescott, the typical rich bully riding his Dad’s coattails, and is friends with Eliot: 8 Prescott St. and Eliot House. Eliot’s dorm is almost as woody as Rachel's house, and he argues with Warren about Ed Wood. 44 Cedar St. isn’t just referring to Child 44 and Zombie- it’s a layered reference to Flight 444 and TK’s obsession with wood. Eliot sketched the rocket that appears on Daniel’s t-shirt. The psychic bomber built Sean’s rocket out of a used toilet roll, duct tape and matchsticks. Lyla the love bomber hates airplanes.
Max has to respond to Warren’s text before he blows up her phone. He teaches her to build a pipe bomb from odds and ends lying around the school so she can break into Principal Wells’ office. It’s revenge against the ivory tower father figure who let his cries for help fall upon deaf ears, like when Max tried to report Nathan’s gun. They’re blowing open a doorway into Wells’ mind- making him listen- the same way Chris blows up his ciggy butt snowfather with an exploding “cigar”. The Junkyard is everyone’s secret hideout, a natural location for the Junkyard Bomber and his Freedom Club. Chloe wishes the whole town would get nuked, and if you let the storm wipe it out nature will reclaim Arcadia Bay.

Munchkin Murder

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans” is the lyric from Beautiful Boy that Jefferson likes to quote. It’s a song John Lennon wrote to comfort his son Sean after a nightmare. Lennon was a great artist but a terrible person in a lot of ways, including beating women and abandoning his first son, Julian. Mark David Chapman was a Beatles megafan with a troubled childhood. His father abused his mother, his mother constantly told him he was destined for greatness, and the children at school bullied him. He described his mom as “right out of Glass Menagerie”- the Tennessee Williams’ play on Rachel’s board o’ inspirations. Like Max in Where the Wild Things Are, he made a fantasy world inside his room, with a town of people that lived in the walls and worshipped King Mark. When he was happy they went about their daily jobs, and he gave them Beatles concerts put on by toy soldiers on a cardboard stage. When he was angry he smashed the town and murdered little people by the thousands.
After hitting puberty, his fantasy changed to having a secret dungeon in the basement of his school filled with women that he touched but didn’t have sex with. On the plane Max learns that none of Jefferson’s victims were physically or sexually assaulted. At 12 a little girl he’d decided was his one true love broke his heart, and he obsessed over her for the rest of his life. Years after Max left the Bay, Chloe is still writing her angry journal entries (but ready to take her back in a heartbeat). At 14 he started using drugs and ran away from home, living on the streets for a couple of weeks. After one hell of an acid trip he thought he’d become John Lennon. At 16 he discovered Holden, the Catcher in the Rye. His favorite movie was Wizard of Oz and he also identified with Dorothy. As an adult he became a very popular summer camp counselor. The kids called him Nemo, after Captain Nemo from Jules Verne’s 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Chris has a Nemo submarine in his bathtub. Mark also worked briefly as a security guard.
Mark became a born-again Christian in 1970, four years after John Lennon declared the Beatles were more popular than Jesus. The comment stuck with him for the next 10 years. His mental health ebbed and flowed, alternately attempting suicide and trying to reenact Verne’s Around the World in 80 Days. The “little people” returned to Chapman’s head and he developed a persecution complex. He tried to change his name to Holden Caulfield and became fixated on saving kids from falling off the cliff of phoniness.
The breaking point came when he found a book full of photographs of John Lennon showing off his wealth- the height of hypocrisy for the man who penned Imagine. Mark started stripping naked, playing Beatles records and begging Satan to lend him his power. In 1980 he flew to New York to stop John Lennon from leading any more children to their doom. He hired a prostitute and gave her a massage instead of having sex with her, mirroring Holden’s experience. He left a little shrine on the hotel dresser with mementos from his life, including a postcard of Dorothy wiping away a tear from the Cowardly Lion. Before shooting Lennon Mark bought another copy of Catcher in the Rye, believing that afterwards he would curl up into a ball and vanish into the pages of the book. In his statement to the police, he said he was split in two parts. The big part was Holden Caulfield, and the small part- his child self- was the Devil, urging him to kill.

Dancing in the Dark

This is Donnie Darko, his little sister Samantha and her stuffed unicorn Ariel. They’re chilling in a motel room watching TV because their home was wrecked in a freak accident: a red and white spiraled jet engine landed directly on Donnie's room. The funny thing is, there was no plane flying overhead. Donnie narrowly avoided being crushed because a man in a giant rabbit suit named Frank told him to wake up and walk outside.
Frank starts paying Donnie nightly visits because he stopped taking his medications. The last time Donnie was unmedicated, he started setting buildings on fire. At night he becomes a sleepwalking zombie, taking his marching orders from Frank. The night that he escapes the jet engine Donnie sleepwalks out to a golf course where Frank tells him the world will end in 28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes and 12 seconds. He wakes up with a black marker in his hand and 28:06:42:12 on his arm- the same way Chloe wakes up with words like “Nevermore” written on her palm. The same way the insomniac Lyla uses Sean as her human post-it note. She tells Sean he’ll see more of her skills if he falls asleep first. Frank uses Donnie like Dr. Caligari uses Cesare. Every time Frank tells him to “wake up”, Donnie activates and does his bidding. Before Chloe burns down The Tree with Rachel, her dream graffiti options are “wake up” or “wake up”. The episode is titled Awake.
Donnie’s hallucinations are seeded just like Frank Bowers'. The mysterious jet engine was spawned from the roar of planes flying overhead as he waits for the school bus. You can hear the planes as Lyla walks Sean home from the bus. As she points one out the power line bisects the screen, mirroring the moment when Sean considers calling her back. It also hints at a split personality. In the Title Screen there are two porch umbrellas outside Sean’s house, a grey one on top of a green one. In game there is only the green one. Samantha writes a little story about Ariel leading a prince into a magical world. Frank is a twisted Ariel, Donnie’s White Rabbit leading him into Wonderland. Donnie's girlfriend says his name sounds made up, like a superhero. To change into his costume he simply flips up his hoodie, no telephone booth required.
Donnie’s science teacher is a hip young professor called Kenneth Monnitoff. It’s never explained why a professor is teaching at a high school. He tells Donnie that, in theory, a metal spacecraft flying faster than the speed of light could pass through a wormhole to travel back in time. In fact, any metal craft will do- a DeLorean, an airplane or a one-eyed rocket. When Max rewinds her broken camera in Jefferson’s class, she declares herself a human time machine. Her sketchbook has a drawing of a rather phallic looking rocket, with an arrow pointing to the cap that says “me”. Next to it stands a little character that looks like a cross between Frank the rabbit and Max from Wild Things. Both the squirrel in the woods and the demon Mushroom that Daniel is playing with in the motel look like they’re morphing into Frank- who, by the way, is one-eyed underneath the suit. The giant Wild Thing is a baby chick powered up- a magical child wielding its awesome powers on Frank’s behalf.
There’s another teacher at Donnie’s school named Kitty Farmer. She’s the coach of Sparkle Motion, the junior dance squad that Samantha belongs to. Kitty worships Jim Cunningham, a local self-help author and motivational speaker. He runs a talent show that leads to Sparkle Motion being selected to fly out to LA to perform on Ed McMahon’s Star Search. It’s very similar to the setup where Jefferson selects an Everyday Hero to go to San Francisco. Jim Cunningham has a secret “kiddie porn dungeon” in his home, and the implication is that Kitty is grooming children for him: Kitty Farmer is a Kiddie Farmer. Donnie is watching a double feature of The Evil Dead and Martin Scorsese’s The Last Temptation of Christ when Frank opens a portal in the movie screen for him, showing him Jim Cunningham’s house and instructing him to burn it down. Donnie commits several attacks inspired by The Last Temptation- he sees himself as Jesus and Jim Cunningham (JC) as the Antichrist. Sadly, that’s a story for Part V.
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2017.12.20 18:00 daprice82 Wrestling Observer Rewind ★ May 11, 1998

Going through old issues of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter and posting highlights in my own words. For anyone interested, I highly recommend signing up for the actual site at f4wonline and checking out the full archives.
PREVIOUS YEARS ARCHIVE: 1991199219931994199519961997
1-5-1998 1-12-1998 1-19-1998 1-27-1998
2-2-1998 2-9-1998 2-16-1998 2-23-1998
3-2-1998 3-9-1998 3-16-1998 3-23-1998
3-30-1998 4-6-1998 4-13-1998 4-20-1998
4-27-1998 5-4-1998
  • AJPW's first ever Tokyo Dome drew a reported 53,000+ and was the biggest show in AJPW's history and is being considered a major success. The main event saw Toshiaki Kawada win the triple crown title from Mitsuharu Misawa in what many called a match of the year candidate, which is amazing considering the physical condition Misawa was in going into the match (2 injured knees, bad back, bad neck, broken finger, etc). Furthermore, Misawa suffered a legit concussion during the match and later didn't remember the finish. It was the first time Kawada had ever beaten Misawa. After the match, Giant Baba announced Misawa would be taking a couple of much-needed months off to heal up. Other notes from the show: Stan Hansen was the most popular person there. He teamed with Vader, the only WWF star on the show, against Kobashi and Johnny Ace in a great match. It was the first time Vader and Hansen had ever teamed up and also the first time Vader and Kobashi faced off, which the crowd was really into.
WATCH: AJPW 25th Anniversary Tokyo Dome event (full show)
  • ECW's Wrestlepalooza PPV also took place this week and from a wrestling standpoint was one of the worst PPVs in years. It's been over a year now and ECW has yet to ever produce a PPV as good as their first one. On the plus side, they sold a record amount of merch (averaging almost $19 per person). Shane Douglas, much like Misawa or Shawn Michaels at WM14, had no business being in the ring with all of his injuries but he still gutted out the match. Unfortunately for Shane, it was nowhere in the league of a Misawa or Michaels match. But Shane was in terrible shape, he couldn't fly to the show so he had to be driven to Georgia and was hospitalized again 2 nights before the PPV due to his sinus and pallet injuries. But he retained the world title although word is he may not wrestle again until the November PPV because he's getting elbow surgery. But they plan to keep the belt on him during that time regardless and build the show around RVD's TV title. Speaking of RVD, he's a great athlete but going 30 minutes with Sabu totally exposed him and the match had no heat. It had been built up as the match that would either make or break the show and it just didn't deliver. Also, the venue looked bush-league and Joey Styles desperately needs help on commentary. He cuts Joey some slack because it's hard to sell excitement when the show sucks, but still, carrying a 3 hour show by himself isn't working.
  • Other notes from Wrestlepalooza: Paul Heyman spent $3,000 on styrofoam heads to pass out to the crowd for Al Snow's entrance. Taz's planned match was cancelled due to his leg injury so they had the FBI vs. Blue Meanie/Super Nova added to replace it. Justin Credible had the best match on the show for the 2nd PPV in a row and is the only one who actually wrestled at a top-tier level but he's not over with the crowd at the same level. At one point there was a big "Free Ric Flair!" chant. Junkyard Dog made a surprise appearance looking awful but got a huge pop (I think that ends up being his last wrestling appearance ever, since he dies less than a month later). Francine looked anorexic and Dave says she looked like Karen Carpenter with implants. New Jack got knocked absolutely loopy during the Bam Bam match, causing the match to fall apart and he didn't recover until well after the match backstage. Bam Bam basically had to carry an unconscious New Jack through the match. After the show, Paul Heyman got on the mic and ran down WCW and said that Atlanta is now ECW country.
WATCH: ECW Wrestlepalooza 98 highlights
  • A&E aired their 2-hour pro wrestling documentary and Dave watched it and gives a looooong review. He basically says to imagine an NBA documentary that shows lots of cool highlights, but where Wilt Chamberlin or Magic Johnson are never mentioned, or if it claimed Michael Jordan invented the slam dunk. That was this. Basically, the documentary was inaccurate as hell and Dave spends paragraph after paragraph poking holes in everything they got wrong. It got a lot of positive reviews because of the SHOCKING! revelation that they admitted wrestling was fake and had lots of out-of-kayfabe interviews and thus, the critical reception was that this was an accurate inside look at the business, when it wasn't even close. Bruno Sammartino was never mentioned. Ric Flair's role in history was totally underplayed. The steroid scandals weren't addressed. The Monday night wars weren't mentioned. It basically claimed that modern pro wrestling was invented on the day Hulk Hogan bodyslammed the 9,000 pound Andre The Giant in front of eleventy billion people. Totally ignored the history of the NWA. So on and so forth. Dave goes way in depth filling in the gaps and correcting things the documentary got wrong about the early days of wrestling (pre-1950s). Once it got to the modern era, it featured interviews with all the big names like McMahon, Hogan, etc. And Dave gleefully spends multiple paragraphs picking apart the bullshit and lies they all spewed. All in all, Dave didn't really seem to be a fan of this. To a mainstream audience, it could definitely seem like a real and accurate history of wrestling but Dave's been a student of the game for decades and he pretty much found inaccuracies, omissions, or lies throughout every minute of this (I dunno, I think maybe he's being too hard on it. I enjoyed it. But it's a lot like the WWE documentaries they put out now. It's not kayfabe, but you're still hearing the version of the story they want you to hear and not the actual real truth. Anyway, I could only find it broken down into 7 videos. Here's Part 1 and it should automatically play the next part).
WATCH: A&E's The Unreal Story of Professional Wrestling
  • The Brian Pillman memorial show, featuring representatives from WWF, WCW, and ECW took place this week. The show drew a sellout of 1,002 fans to the middle school gym where it was held (the same school Pillman went to). Pillman's wife, only days away from giving birth to Pillman's child that he never knew about was also there (when he died, she hadn't yet told him that she was pregnant). Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho was the main event and Benoit was accompanied by Woman, making her first appearance since being let go by WCW and she was said to look great. They also had an auction, with a lot of autographed wrestling memorabilia being auctioned off. Steve Austin and Sunny basically hosted the show and cut promos but Dave doesn't really say anything else about it.
WATCH: First annual Brian Pillman Memorial Show - 1998 (full show, fan cam)
  • Paul Roma was charged with 3rd degree assault for allegedly punching a 15-year-old high school freshman who apparently argued with him that wrestling was fake.
  • Dave himself got some negative publicity in a Dallas newspaper article about wrestling being bad for the youth. Among other things, the author accused Dave of justifying the way wrestling has gotten more adult-oriented by misquoting something Dave said in a New York Times interview. Dave, of course, points out that the guy is attributing a quote to him that he never said (Dave Meltzer misquoted?! Perish the thought!). As for whether wrestling sets a good example for kids, Dave says that it doesn't. But it didn't 10 years ago either, so it's not a new thing.
  • Bas Rutten spent 2 days in jail in Sweden last week. He was apparently at a night club and something happened and the bouncers wanted him to leave. He didn't want to. So they tried to make him. It went poorly for the bouncers.
  • Trenton, NJ politician Pat Daddio made an appearance at an ECW show in Trenton, as the manager of the FBI. Daddio is currently running for mayor of Trenton and worked as a total heel. When interviewed after the show, Daddio said, "I thought it was all in jest and fun, but those people were acting like it was serious." (in case you're curious, I googled: he did not win the election and died in 2010 at age 75).
  • Apparently there was some sort of backstage incident at the ECW Wrestlepalooza PPV between New Jack (of course) and Junkyard Dog but Dave doesn't know anything more than that (we find out more next issue).
  • Due to the lack of Ric Flair and because of DDP and Raven also missing a recent house show, literally 200+ fans asked for refunds. To pacify them, WCW decided to book a TV title change between Booker T and Chris Benoit. It got a huge pop so....they decided to do it at every house show on the tour. During the following week, the TV title changed hands 5 times between those two guys at house shows. But it was never acknowledged on TV and apparently isn't being counted (according to the WCW TV title Wikipedia page, those title changes are listed and Booker T is recognized as a 6-time, 6-time, 6-time, 6....ah you get it. Anyway, Booker T holds the record for most WCW TV title reigns because of this but it was apparently never mentioned on TV).
  • An upcoming Nitro in the Nassau Coliseum in New York sold out in 20 minutes, which Dave says is the fastest sellout for a major arena in the history of pro wrestling in New York. Not even WWF has ever sold out MSG that fast in the decades they've been running shows there.
  • Nothing new on the FlaiWCW front. The 2 sides are at an impasse, with both Flair and Bischoff feeling they're in the right and refusing to back down. Dave once again insists that this is not an angle, contrary to what some people still believe. Dave mentions that lawyers can be disbarred for filing fake lawsuits and says that while people in wrestling have gone to extreme lengths to get angles over before, no one has ever filed a legitimate lawsuit to get an angle over, and even if Bischoff wanted to be the first, Turner execs would never allow their corporate lawyers to risk their careers for an angle.
  • Marcus Bagwell was able to go home after his neck surgery but was rushed back to the ER again over the weekend after his blood pressure spiked and he nearly went into cardiac arrest. He was also having breathing issues and internal bleeding. But he's stable again now.
  • After Sting refused to turn heel in order to be Hogan's tag team partner against the Wolfpac, Hogan has been pushing for Scott Hall or even Lex Luger to turn. Dave doubts Hall will go along with it either, since he doesn't want to work against Nash.
  • Rick Steiner has a torn rotator cuff and will be out for several months. They did an angle on Nitro where Scott Steiner attacked him and injured his shoulder to write him off.
  • Davey Boy Smith appears to be done with WCW. On Nitro a couple of weeks ago, he was asked to put over Scott Norton clean and refused. A week later, he simply no-showed Nitro and that's probably it for him. Dave says it's hard to know what's next for Smith. He's 35, is really banged up, and was basically a prelim guy in WCW. He didn't leave WWF on the best of terms (Screwjob aftermath). Dave says ECW is interested but he wouldn't fit in there. AJPW would probably want him just because of his look, but it's doubtful his body could handle the AJPW style (nah, he comes back to WCW in a month. But he'd be gone for good before the end of the year).
  • WCW Contract News: Goldberg has signed a new 4-year deal. Chris Jericho's contract runs out in summer of 1999. Same for Rey Mysterio Jr., who WWF was reportedly interested in because it was thought his contract would expire this year. But WCW apparently has the option to roll it over for another year, so Mysterio isn't going anywhere for awhile.
  • Eric Bischoff spent 3 days this week giving depositions in the ongoing WWF lawsuit against WCW, all of which goes back to WWF claiming that WCW tried to deceive the public into thinking Hall and Nash were still WWF wrestlers when they joined WCW, among other things. A lot of people feel like the point of the lawsuit and deposition is simply for WWF to dig up dirt on Eric Bischoff which they can use to get him fired (similar to how Turner fired Bill Watts a few years ago when racist quotes from an old interview surfaced). The idea being that if Bischoff got fired, whoever succeeded him wouldn't be as aggressive or successful against WWF.
  • Speaking of WWF/WCW lawsuits, the recent firing of Mark Madden in WCW raised some eyebrows. He got canned after incidents where he walked off the set during some commentary thing he was doing and then he went on the WCW hotline and criticized the company for the way they handled the Sean Waltman firing and Ric Flair lawsuit. A lot of people in WCW were surprised that Madden was fired, since he's a key person in the WWF/WCW lawsuit because a lot of WWF's claims stem from things Madden said on the hotline. So you'd think WCW would want to keep Madden employed and on their good side. ECW is interested in bringing Madden in also. Some in WCW are pushing to bring him back and keep him happy, at least until the lawsuit blows over.
  • People Magazine was running an online vote for Most Beautiful People in the World. Some fans/trolls decided to push for Ric Flair and as of press time, he's #12 on the list.
  • Kimberly Page has nude photos in the newest Playboy: Wet & Wild issue (google is your friend here).
  • The vignette they aired on Raw showing a wrestler hanging out in the subway station was Adam Copeland. Apparently he will be called The Edge when he debuts on TV in a few weeks and he's "apparently doing some sort of Raven gimmick." Here's all the Edge pre-debut vignettes in one video:
WATCH: Edge pre-debut vignettes
  • With the new storyline twist that Paul Bearer is Kane's father, there's been talk of bringing in Jerry Springer to reveal the results of a paternity test. But they have also discussed holding off on bringing in Springer until Summerslam. WWF and Springer are pretty much targeting the same audience these days so a business relationship makes sense. Speaking of Summerslam, Dave suspects the main event will be Austin vs. McMahon (nope).
  • Porn star Jenna Jameson (last seen in ECW) was in the latest Val Venis vignette, acting like she was going down on him behind some bushes.
WATCH: Val Venis vignette with Jenna Jameson
  • WCW has been trying to enforce a 120-day no-compete clause on Steven Regal's contract to keep him from going to WWF. In response, WWF filed court documents intending to take legal action to free Regal up. Rather than defending it, WCW decided it wasn't worth the hassle and simply folded and allowed Regal out of his deal, so he's free to sign with WWF at any time now. WWF doesn't plan to debut him until August but they wanted to start airing vignettes on TV as soon as possible.
  • Dan Severn is still the NWA champion but is, of course, now signed to WWF. He has been told not to wear the NWA belt on WWF TV anymore.
  • Vince Russo will be dropping his magazine duties and spend more time writing the TV shows. "If he's in any way responsible for the Raw product of late, then he's doing one hell of a job." Oh man, Dave-haters and Russo-apologists on Twitter are going to LOVE that one.
  • Shawn Michaels' back issues are apparently worse than thought. Word is Michaels is in severe pain when both sitting and standing and is having trouble sleeping. He had an injection in his back this week to hopefully relieve the pain. If that doesn't help improve it, he will need back surgery. The injury apparently occurred during his casket match with Undertaker at Royal Rumble.
  • Earl Hebner was backstage at the latest WWF show. He's lost a lot of weight and is still having severe headaches from his aneurysm the night before Wrestlemania but they're hopeful he'll be back to refereeing in a month or so (so I guess that thing a couple of issues ago where they did a fake Screwjob angle wasn't Earl after all).
  • Klub Kamikaze, the group of Michinoku Pro wrestlers that have been on TV the last few weeks, will have their name changed to Kaientai. Their manager will have his name changed to Yamaguchi-San and will do a Sonny Onoo-type gimmick. Choppy choppy pee pee!
  • Apparently several WWF wrestlers are having their contracts changed and getting substantial raises (in some cases double what they were making) because WWF business is doing so good right now. Dave talks about how Austin is taking WWF by storm and says he is selling more merch right now than anyone in the history of wrestling, including Hogan. Dave doesn't know what Austin is making, but says if he isn't pulling in at least $5-10 million this year, then he's underpaid.
  • The Unforgiven PPV reportedly did around a 1.03 buyrate which is waaaay higher than anyone expected and would make it one of the highest grossing shows in WWF history, which is crazy enough anyway, but considering it was basically a throwaway "B-show" makes that number even more insane.
FRIDAY: Eric Bischoff challenges Vince McMahon to a fight on PPV, Dave breaks down top WWF draws of the decade, Steve Austin on TSN's Off The Record, and more...
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2017.06.19 13:13 feedreddit ONE DEAD in London terror attack -- INSIDE Trump’s tech meeting -- JARED back to Israel -- DEMS to try to weaponize Trump's ‘mean’ comment -- BRITTANY BRAMELL to TSA -- KEVIN SHERIDAN engaged -- B’DAY: Jeff Mason

ONE DEAD in London terror attack -- INSIDE Trump’s tech meeting -- JARED back to Israel -- DEMS to try to weaponize Trump's ‘mean’ comment -- BRITTANY BRAMELL to TSA -- KEVIN SHERIDAN engaged -- B’DAY: Jeff Mason
by [email protected] (Daniel Lippman) via POLITICO - TOP Stories
URL: http://ift.tt/2rMulnv
Good Monday morning. THE PRESIDENT is at the White House today, where he’ll meet with the president of Panama and then with a number of tech leaders. (Scroll down a bit if you’d like to see who from the administration and business is expected to attend.)
TERROR IN LONDON -- THE SUN -- “LONDON MOSQUE TERROR: Finsbury Park Mosque terrorist screaming ‘I’m going to kill all Muslims’ drives van into worshippers killing one and injuring ten,” by Ben Leo, Gemma Mullin, Neal Baker and Lauren Fruen: “ONE person has been killed and ten injured in a suspected terrorist attack after a hired van ploughed into Muslim worshippers leaving a mosque after late-night Ramadan prayers. The attacker – a 48-year-old white man – ran down pedestrians before being pinned down by hero bystanders and arrested by police.
“Scotland Yard has confirmed one man was pronounced dead at the scene and officers are in the process of informing his next of kin. Deputy Assistant Commissioner Neil Basu, the Senior National Coordinator for Counter Terrorism, this morning said: ‘This is being treated as a terrorist attack. ‘The attack unfolded whilst a man was receiving first aid from the public at the scene, sadly, he has died. ‘Any causative link between his death and the attack will form part of our investigation. It is too early to state if his death was as a result of the attack.’ The attacker struck outside the Muslim Welfare House, close to Finsbury Park mosque, in north London as the area was busy with worshippers who had been attending Ramadan night prayers.” http://bit.ly/2sJEoPt
**SUBSCRIBE to Playbook:http://politi.co/2lQswbh
WE ARE STILL AT WAR -- “As U.S. Adds Troops in Afghanistan, Trump’s Strategy Remains Undefined,” by NYT’s Mark Landler and Michael Gordon: “When President Trump made his first major decision on the war in Afghanistan, he did not announce it in a nationally televised address from the White House or a speech at West Point.
“Instead, the Pentagon issued a news release late one afternoon last week confirming that the president had given the defense secretary, Jim Mattis, the authority to send several thousand additional troops to a war that, in its 16th year, engages about 8,800 American troops. Mr. Trump, who writes avidly on Twitter about war and peace in other parts of the world, said nothing about the announcement. But its effect was unmistakable: He had outsourced the decision on how to proceed militarily in Afghanistan to the Pentagon, a startling break with how former President Barack Obama and many of his predecessors handled the anguished task of sending Americans into foreign conflicts.
“The White House played down the Pentagon’s vaguely worded statement, which referred only to setting ‘troop levels’ as a stopgap measure -- a tacit admission of the administration’s internal conflicts over what to do about the deteriorating situation in Afghanistan.” http://nyti.ms/2sriOvO
-- WAPO: “Afghan war faces flurry of setbacks as new U.S. military policy nears,” by Pamela Constable and Sayed Salahuddin in Islamabad: “[C]omplicating the picture are questions about how to deal with neighboring Pakistan and balance separate fights against Afghan and foreign-based insurgents. In the latest attack Sunday morning, Taliban fighters stormed a police base in southeastern Paktia province after detonating a suicide car bomb outside. At least five members of security forces and several civilians were killed, officials said. The attack came one day after an Afghan army commando shot and wounded seven U.S. troops inside an army base in northern Balkh province.” http://wapo.st/2rGZlu9
SYRIA -- “U.S. aircraft shoots down a Syrian government jet over northern Syria, Pentagon says,” by WaPo’s Thomas Gibbons-Neff and Kareem Fahim: http://wapo.st/2sOe4Do
-- “Israel Gives Secret Aid to Syrian Rebels,” by WSJ’s Rory Jones, Noam Raydan and Suha Ma’ayeh: “Israel has been regularly supplying Syrian rebels near its border with cash as well as food, fuel and medical supplies for years, a secret engagement in the enemy country’s civil war aimed at carving out a buffer zone populated by friendly forces. The Israeli army is in regular communication with rebel groups and its assistance includes undisclosed payments to commanders that help pay salaries of fighters and buy ammunition and weapons, according to interviews with about half a dozen Syrian fighters. Israel has established a military unit that oversees the support in Syria—a country that it has been in a state of war with for decades—and set aside a specific budget for the aid.” http://on.wsj.com/2rH5ZQQ
INSIDE THE WEST WING: PLAYING FAVORITES -- “Trump demands face time with favored Cabinet heads,” by Tara Palmeri and Andrew Restuccia: “Every president has regular contact with key Cabinet members, but Trump, who remains deeply mistrustful of career agency officials, has turned the White House into a hangout for his chosen department heads. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson has met with the president at least 34 times since he was confirmed in February, according to a POLITICO analysis of Trump’s interactions since taking office. ...
“Senior aides say Trump demands facetime with his appointees in part because he doesn’t trust bureaucrats who do the day-to-day work of the federal government. The president shuns them as tools of what he often refers to as the ‘deep state,’ and blames them for the frequent, unflattering news stories coming from his White House, according to two White House aides. But for Trump’s Cabinet members, proximity is a plus. Being physically present at the White House ensures that they have a say in policymaking — and serves as an indication of status with the president.” http://politi.co/2sh7lR2
LEGAL SHUFFLE -- “Kushner Is Said to Be Reconsidering His Legal Team,” by NYT’s Ben Protess Jessica Silver-Greenberg and Sharon LaFraniere: “Representatives of Jared Kushner, President Trump’s son-in-law and senior adviser, have quietly contacted high-powered criminal lawyers about potentially representing him in the wide-ranging investigation into Russia’s influence on the 2016 election, according to three people briefed on the matter.
“Some of Mr. Kushner’s allies have raised questions about the link between his current lawyer, Jamie S. Gorelick, and Robert S. Mueller III, the special counsel appointed to investigate the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, according to one of the people who spoke on condition of anonymity. Before the Justice Department named him to the special counsel post, Mr. Mueller was a law partner with Ms. Gorelick at the Washington firm of WilmerHale. ...
“‘After the appointment of our former partner Robert Mueller as special counsel, we advised Mr. Kushner to obtain the independent advice of a lawyer with appropriate experience as to whether he should continue with us as his counsel,’ the statement from Ms. Gorelick said. …
“Among the lawyers contacted, one person said, was Abbe D. Lowell, a prominent trial lawyer whose previous clients include Jack Abramoff, the powerful Republican lobbyist, in a corruption scandal that shook Washington in 2005. Mr. Lowell is currently defending Senator Robert Menendez, Democrat of New Jersey, against federal corruption charges. Mr. Lowell declined to comment.” http://nyti.ms/2ruJPNX
KUSHNER’S NEXT BIG TASK -- “Trump aides Kushner and Greenblatt to visit Israel, Palestinians this week,” by Reuters’ Steve Holland: “U.S. President Donald Trump is sending two top aides to Jerusalem and Ramallah this week to discuss potential next steps in his bid to restart Israeli-Palestinian peace talks, a White House official said on Sunday. Going on the trip will be White House senior adviser Jared Kushner, who is Trump’s son-in-law and husband of his daughter Ivanka Trump, and Jason Greenblatt, a top national security aide. Greenblatt will arrive in the region on Monday and Kushner on Wednesday.
“The talks follow Trump’s discussions last month with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas. Behind-the-scenes conversations have been taking place since the Trump trip, the White House official said. … Kushner and Greenblatt will have meetings in Jerusalem and Ramallah to hear directly from the Israeli and Palestinian leadership ‘about their priorities and potential next steps,’ the official said.” http://reut.rs/2tiT30O
DEM’S GEORGIA CATCH 22 -- “Democrats sweat the details in Georgia special election,” by Gabe Debenedetti in Sandy Springs, Georgia: “Democrats are closer than they ever could have imagined to winning a House seat in the Republican suburbs of Atlanta, and dealing a resounding blow to Donald Trump. But they’re also gripped by anxiety about what happens if they fall short Tuesday. A loss in Georgia’s special election here could leave the party demoralized, with little to show for all the furious organizing, fundraising and spending in a handful of congressional special elections in the early months of the Trump administration. As a result, Democrats are now straining to throw everything they have at Georgia’s Sixth Congressional District to push Jon Ossoff over the top against Republican Karen Handel, aiming to prove they can win the suburban districts that may pave the way to a House majority in 2018.” http://politi.co/2srqj5S
THE NEW DEM TALKING POINTS -- “Democrats use Trump ‘mean’ comment to tar GOP,” by Josh Dawsey and Seung Min Kim: “Democrats are seeking to capitalize on President Donald Trump calling the Republican health care bill ‘mean’ ahead of the Senate's vote to repeal Obamacare, seeing it as a pivotal moment in an issue that could drive the 2018 midterm elections. The comments from Trump, made privately to senators last week, were largely overshadowed by a mass shooting at a Congressional baseball practice and new developments in the special counsel’s investigation into Trump and his associates.
“But a senior Democratic aide said the party plans to revive the ‘mean’ comment part of floor speeches, press conferences and social media, and consultants said they craved the image of Trump celebrating in the Rose Garden with House members over a ‘mean’ bill that hurt poor Americans. ‘We will be weaving mean into the broader attack in a prominent way,’ the aide said.” http://politi.co/2sGAnKv
-- It’s important to note: There are just nine legislative days left before Congress breaks for the July 4 recess. Senate Republicans have still not released an Obamacare repeal bill for public review. It is crunch time for Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell to find a path forward for a health care bill that can pass before the break. ALSO, WE HEAR that House Republicans aren’t going to necessarily take up whatever the Senate passes. They do plan a vote on something, but it’s not yet clear what the House will be able to stomach.
HAPPENING TODAY -- The much-discussed tech summit organized by President Donald Trump’s Office of American Innovation is bringing together Trump administration heavy hitters with a slew of tech bigwigs.
-- WHITE HOUSE ATTENDEES: Trump, Vice President Mike Pence, Jared Kushner, Ivanka Trump, Chris Liddell, Reed Cordish, Gary Cohn, Dina Powell, Stephen Miller, National Security Adviser H.R. McMaster and Tom Bossert.
-- AGENCY ATTENDEES: Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin, Homeland Secretary Ret. Gen. John Kelly, OMB Director Mick Mulvaney, Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross and CMS Administrator Seema Verma.
-- CEOS: Ajay Banga, CEO of MasterCard; Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon; Zachary Bookman, CEO of OpenGov; Safra Catz, Co-Chief Executive of Oracle; Tim Cook, CEO of Apple; John Doerr, Chairman of Kleiner Perkins; Pat Gelsinger, CEO of VMware; Alex Karp, CEO of Palantir; Brian Krzanich, CEO of Intel; Tom Leighton, CEO of Akamai; Bill McDermott, CEO of SAP; Steven Mollenkopf, CEO of Qualcomm; Satya Nadella, CEO of Microsoft; Shantanu Narayen, CEO of Adobe; Ginni Rometty, CEO of IBM; Eric Schmidt, Executive Chairman of Alphabet; Julie Sweet, CEO of Accenture; and Peter Thiel, Founders Fund.
-- “White House meetings add to tech’s awkward dance with Trump,” by Steven Overly: “Amazon, Google, Facebook and Lyft have all hired lobbyists with connections to Trump or his Cabinet members, as they seek to influence the administration on everything from taxes to immigration.” http://politi.co/2ruMXsV
THE JUICE …
-- FIRST IN PLAYBOOK: DNC CHAIR TOM PEREZ is endorsing Puerto Rico statehood. Perez, who has two siblings born in Puerto Rico, said in a statement provided to Playbook that he believes Puerto Ricans should have the same rights as those on the mainland and that his personal view is that statehood is the best method to provide full representation in government and equal rights.
-- STOPTERRORNOW.ORG is dropping $100,000 for a USA Today ad as part of its campaign to push Trump and Congress to put political and economic pressure on Qatar. The full-page ad is an open-letter from the International Fellowship of Christians and Jews founder and president Rabbi Yechiel Eckstein. It also includes digital ads on the USA Today website. The adhttp://politi.co/2sOdIfN
-- BRITTANY BRAMELL has left Uber, and is starting today at TSA as the assistant administrator of public affairs.
A BI-PARTISAN KUMBAYA MOMENT -- “Israel trip calms some D.C. tensions,” by Daniel Lippman: “A number of former top Trump campaign officials and prominent Democrats say that their trip last week to Israel helped them dial down the bitter partisanship of current-day Washington. Trump campaign alumni Corey Lewandowski and David Bossie, former Obama White House deputy press secretary Bill Burton, and Paul Begala were among the participants in the seven-day trip that ended Saturday. … The trip was sponsored by the American Israel Education Foundation and organized by AIPAC political director Rob Bassin; other trip-goers included Juleanna Glover, Corry Bliss, Trey Nix, Brad Todd and Jef Pollack.” With a pic of the full group in front of the Knessethttp://politi.co/2sOcEJ4
WEST COAST WATCH -- “These Democrats feel guilty for sitting out the 2016 elections, and they aren’t waiting to register voters for the midterms,” by L.A. Times’ Javier Panzer: http://lat.ms/2rH3Y7i
MEDIAWATCH: HADAS GOLD -- “Fox’s Bolling talks of a future Senate run”: “Fox News anchor Eric Bolling may have just signed a new multi-year contract, but he’s also eyeing a possible career change: A future run for Senate. For now, Bolling is secure in his job as co-host of the new show ‘The Fox News Specialists.’ But In a recent telephone interview from Fox News headquarters in New York City, Bolling said that ‘when the lights go down on the TV career’ he wants to make a primary challenge against a sitting Republican senator in the South.
“‘A lot of Republicans run as conservatives only to be elected, and we find out they’re not conservative at all,” said Bolling, who considers himself one of President Donald Trump’s longest and most loyal supporters. Bolling, who grew up in Chicago and went to college in Florida, declined to specify which state in the South he’d run, which senator he would challenge or even when it would happen (it could be ‘never’ or when his current contract runs out in three years, he said). He also denied he’s taking any concrete actions to run, including speaking with consultants -- ‘no, no, friends’ he said when asked if he’s had conversations about planning a campaign.” http://politi.co/2sO3yMf
-- JACK SHAFER on “Megyn Kelly Pantses Alex Jones”:http://politi.co/2sFCQ8i
SPOTTED: HHS Secretary Tom Price on the Sunday afternoon ATL-DCA flight. Flying coach with two security agents.
ENGAGED -- Kevin Sheridan, founder of the Sheridan Media Group and a Romney/Ryan and RNC alum, got engaged to Erika Gutierrez, founder of epgPR.com and daughter of former Commerce Secretary Carlos Gutierrez. They met at an event in 2015, and were reintroduced at the Jefferson through friends a year later. He proposed at their new home Saturday evening. Pic http://bit.ly/2rM6tAH
WEEKEND WEDDINGS -- Ari Schaffer, research analyst in the White House communications shop and an America Rising alum, married Marissa Schwartz, a senior analyst at The Advisory Board Company, on Sunday at the Rockleigh Country Club in New Jersey. The two met at Kesher Israel Synagogue in Georgetown. Picshttp://bit.ly/2sGzT79 ... http://bit.ly/2tEqg66 ... http://bit.ly/2sO4i4d
--Alessandro Ago (Alex), son of D.C. publicist Janet Donovan and Amb. Pietro Ago, married Emma Bernstein at the Kohl Mansion in Burlingame, CA. Ago is director of programming and special projects at USC while Bernstein is assistant to the president at Imagine Entertainment. “In keeping with their cinematic interests, they created a movie poster in honor of their wedding.” Pichttp://bit.ly/2sJzphx ... The posterhttp://bit.ly/2sNUOpy
BUSH ALUMNI -- Glynda Becker, director of federal relations at Washington State University and a Bush administration alum, married Tom Fenter in an outdoor ceremony at the Suncadia resort located outside of Seattle. The couple was introduced by former Bush alumnae Susan McColley Benhoff when she invited her brother last minute to join the group at Outer Banks for their annual Memorial Day Weekend beach trip. Picshttp://bit.ly/2sO9pRyhttp://bit.ly/2tjwzwX
SPOTTED: Susan McColley Benhoff and Kevin Benhoff, Suhail Khan, Warren and Emily Tryon, Mike and Rhonda Gallagher, Connie and Gary Partoyan, Kelle Strickland and Chad Adams, Rob McKenna.
BIRTHDAY OF THE DAY: Jeff Mason, WH correspondent for Reuters and president of the WHCA. How he’s celebrating: “I’m spending the day in Bonn, Germany, where I’m accepting the Deutsche Welle Freedom of Speech Award on behalf of the White House Correspondents’ Association. It’s an honor to be here to discuss the work of the WHCA and extra special to me personally because I was born in Germany -- my folks were stationed here with the U.S. Air Force in the 1970s. I’m celebrating with my twin bro, Brian, (happy birthday, dear brother!) and with close family friends from the village we lived in as kids.” Read his Playbook Plus Q&A:http://politi.co/2rMsdfP
BIRTHDAYS: David DiMartino, a Boston native and Bruins fan, now at Blue Engine Message and Media (h/t Erik Smith) … former SEC chairwoman Mary Schapiro ... WaPo’s Anne Gearan ... Marcus Brauchli, co-founder and managing partner of North Base Media, the pride of Boulder, and a WSJ and WaPo alum, is 56 (h/t Ben Chang) ... Politico’s Alex Isenstadt, the pride of Piedmont, Calif. (h/t Tim Burger) ... Nobel peace laureate Aung San Suu Kyi is 72 ... Salman Rushdie is 7-0 ... actor Paul Dano is 33 (h/t Nadia Szold) ... David Lat, founder and managing editor of Above the Law, is 42 ... Lara Spencer of “Good Morning America” and the pride of Garden City ... Politico’s Tim Starks ... Slate contributor Seth Stevenson, author of “Grounded: A Down to Earth Journey Around the World” ... Rep. Pete Aguilar (D-Calif.) is 38 ... Rep. Jim Cooper (D-Tenn.) is 63 ... Rep. Trent Franks (R-Ariz.) is 6-0 ... Slate’s Isaac Chotiner, a Houston Rockets fan and TNR alum ... former Rep. Bob Dold (R-Ill.) is 46 ...
... CBS News producers Louise Dufresne and Christina Ruffini (h/ts Caitlin Conant) ... Tariq Smith, proud NC State Wolfpack alum (h/t Andrew Bates) ... Cragg Hines ... Mary Dalrymple of Eagle Hill Consulting and a Booz Allen alum ... Earl Whipple ... Mike Naple is 34 ... Jenna Sakwa, Speaker Ryan’s new director of media affairs. She celebrated with colleagues on the speaker’s balcony on Friday, with family in NYC this weekend, and will BBQ with friends on Monday (h/t Ryan press team) ... Michelle Ringuette … Liz Richards ... Samantha Finke … Darren Bearson … Sean Kevelighan … Hilary Richards ... Michael Akin, president of DC-based strat comms and engagement firm LINK Strategic Partners (h/t wife Wendi) ... Jennifer Fedor ... Raytheon’s Aimee Strudwick Gilroy … Marilyn Miller (h/t Teresa Vilmain) ... former Bush 43 White House and DHS alum Tom Hoare (h/t Ed Cash) ... Michael Robbins … Ruth Elliott ... Sean Kevelighan ... Bonnie Goldstein ... Matt McKillop is 33 ... Leslea Byrd ... CRC Public Relations is 28 … Liz Richards … Paula Abdul is 55 ... actress Zoe Saldana is 39 ... Macklemore (Macklemore and Ryan Lewis) is 34 ... actor Atticus Shaffer is 18 (h/ts AP)
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2012.05.01 18:53 tabledresser [Table] IAmA: 22 Year old Post op MTF transgender woman.

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2012-05-01
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Link to my post
Questions Answers
Thanks for being brave enough to post, I have a few questions for you. What age did you start your transition? You say years of hormones, and are young, did you have the support of your parents for this? What were your biggest issues with others your age, growing up? Family issues? P.S. If you're not interested in the issue the OP is posting on, do you need to be a dick about it? I answered some of the questions already but as far as biggest issues growing up with others my age.. Well, I am one the lucky ones who had supportive friends and I never really had a negative school experience, however, I can tell you I would have been much happier being in the correct body in High School.. I probably would have entered to be Prom Queen or something like that, it's silly but its something that stays with a girl.
What's your relationship history like? Did you date pre-transition? Well, I believe I had quite normal relationship growth growing up. I had my first boyfriend at the age of 14, it lasted three years, from there I had another serious boyfriend for one year, and a few flings in between. I never came forward about being transgender to any of them, although they noticed it and always inquired about my sexuality. At the age of 18, I met my boyfriend, who I am still with, and I believe it was him who made me feel comfortable enough to come forward and share my desire to transition and express my gender identity disorder.
Just to clarify, the guys you dated were gay? Or were you female identified? The guys I dated prior to my current boyfriend identified as bisexual, and all had girlfriends prior to me. My current boyfriend identifies as heterosexual and also had a girlfriend right prior to me. So I suppose I did identify female. I mean at 5'3 and 100 lbs. It's difficult to identify as anything else.
Thanks for being candid. Your BF is a good man for sticking with you through your transition, I understand this is a difficult period for many couples. We've had to overcome obstacles like any other couple. But at this point really, its no different than any other man and woman.
You mention having a boyfriend, how does he feel about all this. how did you break it to him did you tell him right away? You're very pretty in your pictures! Do you feel more attractive now physically as a female than you did as male? How are your parents reactions to everything? Did you have a long process of explaining your new life to everyone you use to know or was is a clean transition where most people expected it? And finally a hypothetical for you; if you were to fall for a guy and later find out he was post op FTM would you be comfortable with it? My boyfriend is completely supportive, and understanding of everything I've gone through. He loves me, finds me very attractive, and very much enjoys being in the relationship. I suppose he doesn't see me any different than he does other women. Actually more often than not, I am usually on the more feminine end of the female spectrum with other women. I do feel more attractive physically now, I guess I don't really think about it now as I did before. When I was younger I would worry about how attractive I was or was not, and I didn't feel attractive due to the nature of how my body was developing. But now my life is sweet like cinnamon :P.
To answer your last question, and don't hate me for this, but I don't think my reaction would be positive, but who knows!
Upvoted for honesty regarding FTM comment. Also you look like a blonde Rachel Bilson. I've gotten this before, I am actually a brunette now.
I'm glad you were able to find someone that supportive that can be such a crucial thing to have and very hard to find. Hold him close for a long time! Yeah, I am blessed.
Hey! That's pretty harsh (in response to the FTM comment.) Yeah, I know! I am sorry :[
Ok I will ask the basic questions. So how long was your transition? What country are you from? Where did you have your SRS? Is your family Supportive? Are you pleased with the results? I began fully transitioning at nineteen, and was done by the age of 22, having had sexual reassignment surgery. I am in the States, and I had my SRS with one of the top doctors in the world Dr. Suporn, in Thailand where the procedure originated. My family is completely supportive. I am beyond pleased with the results. :)
That had to cost a good deal of money, did your parents help you pay for it? No, I payed for everything myself. Everything was close to 100k, and I still think I could have used that money for so many other things, but I wouldn't change a thing if I could. Best spent money.
How would you compare the penile orgasm to the vaginal orgasm? Vaginal orgasm is definitely more wide spread. Penile orgasm is in my opinion very central and short lived. Now my orgasms are definitely longer, and the intensity is much higher. Think about it a clitoris is simply little treasure box of nerve endings. :)
Brb getting vagina. Lol.
Obviously it was painful right? Would you say it is worth it? Do you feel comfortable in your own skin? How will you handle dating in the future? Sorry for the stock questions. Yes, the surgeries were painful, not physically painful due to pain killers but simply a hassle, each in their own right. It was definitely worth it, I would do it again, a million times over if it was required. I do feel completely comfortable in my own skin. I don't mean this in a vain manner, but I am 22 year old attractive, intelligent female, and I am not just writing it I actually feel it. Well, I don't really plan on my current relationship ending, I see myself marrying eventually. I am very much in love with my boyfriend. But if I were to be out in the dating world ever again, I would definitely not speak of my past unless I knew it had potential to be something serious.
Where do you work? How does being an transgendered person affect your workplace? Do you ever feel discriminated against? Do you still have an "Adam's apple?" No adam's apple. I work in the fashion industry, and my boyfriend is a model. Nobody outside of my family, boyfriend, and very close friends know about my past. So it doesn't affect me in the least bit.
Interesting and thank you. Hopefully, transgendered individuals will be a protected class under Title VII in the next 5-10 years. Not sure what Title VII is however, legally I am female, thanks to this wonderful country!
Good for you! You are so pretty :) Is that your natural hair grown out/extensions/a wig? Is your voice different? Again - you are so pretty!! My hair is long, but I do play with extensions every once in a while. My voice is feminine, in fact, I've often had males tell me I have a very attractive voice, which I find ironic. I think one of the main reasons I did this, is to kind of give people another angle at the issue of transgender. Most people associate the word transgender, with a middle aged man with make up barely hiding a five o clock shadow, and a plastic looking wig on. Which is a bit sad, but its common with transgender individuals, that the most successful ones tend to remain private, and really have no interest in sharing their story.
Just a note here. When I read "transgender woman", especially post-op, I wonder if you were man-->woman, or woman-->man. In the end, I assume that if you call yourself a woman, either transgender or redhead or one-legged, then your post-op sex is female. Is this right? Regardless of that, when did you know that your body was the wrong sex for you? Yeah, perhaps I could have been more specific. I was born male and transitioned into female. Quite frankly, I always try to stay away from comments like 'I knew when I was a baby, or in my early infant memories..' Because I feel most human beings aren't developed enough to have a true sense of self at such early stages of life. However, I will say my 'gender' always brought me a level of discomfort even in those early years. I knew by the time I was in High School that I was in the wrong body, and I was determined to do something about it, and so I did.
So was he dating you as a (physical) male? Or when you say "began transition" you mean the surgeries (but you were already dressing/looking female)? Before surgeries, but already dressing female.
What activities were included in your pre-op sex life? The average teenager activities? Are you being specific about any aspect of life?
How did you bring it up? I'm assuming you didn't wait until he touched.. I was just vocal about how I felt.
I was just curious if you topped or if that was too "male" for youhis tastes. No topping here. Lol.
That's really great to hear. So much of what we learn about focuses on all of the issues and negative aspects without really showing what a successful transition looks like. Are you happy? I guess that's my last question. Very happy :)
I assume you're attracted to men. Do you tell them before the bedroom phase? If not, can they usually tell by the way things look/feel down there? I am attracted to men only but have been in a relationship for four years, and I plan on staying in it so I haven't been presented with such situation yet. But if I were single I would not feel obligated to let a man know unless I knew that there was potential for things to be more serious. And no, going by knowledge, and experience of how things look so far, they would not be able to tell.
I'm also a MTF transwoman, I'm 18 and I'm pre-op but full-time, I pass 100%, and people tell me I'm pretty... but I just feel really hopeless when it comes to relationships and sex. I'm a virgin and in high school there was nobody out as bi or gay so I never had any luck there, and now in college I feel kind of like a freak. I'm not sure if I want SRS but this is really upsetting me to the point of suicidal behaviors. Just wondering if there's anything you would say or any advice you would give. And unrelated, did you have FFS? Yes, I had facial feminization, along with a breast augmentation (plus natural breast growth) and sexual reassignment surgery. Honestly, I think the best advice I can give you is to focus on finding yourself. Relationships and sex are nice, but not entirely what life is about. And I know that might sound cynical coming from someone who has been in a relationship most of their young adult life, but I mean it. You need to figure out if SRS is for you, as it is a big step, and you need to work towards that goal. And as far as dating and sex, don't be afraid to meet new people, or open up to those you are already friendly with. Some will surprise you. <3.
For being so young and paying for all this surgery yourself... What line of work are you in? Or did you take out a loan? You look great by the way! I work in the fashion industry, it pays well.
Has your family been supportive? 100%
Hi Miss Pirate Mermaid! Thank you much for doing this AMA, and I'm so glad you're comfortable in your own skin now. You look simply gorgeous! I was just curious, though, do you live in Thailand, or did you move or make a trip there for the surgeries? Was Dr. Suporn also your facial feminization surgeon, or did he just do the bottom work? Who was your gender therapist or councilor, and how long were you seeing them before starting hormone therapy? Curiously, Nidalee_Bot. Hey, no I live in America. I just went there for surgery. I had a different surgeon to do face work. I didn't really have a therapist before starting hormone therapy. I was completely solid on what I wanted, and who I was meant to be in this life.
Have you had the opportunity yet to pleasure yourself with a finger or two? If you ever had the chance earlier in your life to finger a girl during one of your drunken hetero moments, does it seem as though everything is in place and working? I have fingered myself, maybe eight times, (keep in mind I am only 4 months post op), and everything inside feels very nice. As far as I am concerned, everything is just perfect. Aesthetically and functionality as well. I've orgasmed multiple times, and I self lubricate as well.
Do you have any comparative experience with traditional vaginas? No but my boyfriend does and he approves.
Wow, I didn't know they could make them that good to where they self lubricate. How do they achieve that with a male who has no lubricating glands glands/tissue down there? forgive my ignorance. The estrogen therapy is secreted through the vaginal lining, there's also natural secretion from the prostate and cowper's gland.
If you had sexual encounters with men or women before your surgery, how did it feel mentally/physically? If you have had sexual encounters since the surgery, did you tell your partner beforehand? Would they even know the difference? Do you have feeling in the vagina/clitoris? Does it self-lubricate, or must that be done artifically? I only had sexual encounters with men before surgery. It was fulfilling but I was always uncomfortable with getting undressed or the thought of my partner being aware of my genitals. I haven't had vaginal sex yet since my surgery a couple of months ago, however, I will very soon. So I'll update you? Lol. I have been with my boyfriend for four years, and he doesn't see my vagina is being any different from other vaginas, not because he is my boyfriend but because aesthetically it looks no different than any other girl he has been with.
Haha he must be so revved up and ready to try it out ;) Also, since you mentioned your current boyfriend was heterosexual, how did the whole sex thing go between you to before you had the operation/s? Did that not throw him off to see male genitalia on a female? By the way yes I have 100% feeling in my vagina and clitoris and I've orgasmed many times with clitoris play. And it does self lubricate. Before it would usually consist of me giving him oral and him penetrating me. He's already ate me out though, to begin making up for all my past work. It did throw him off a bit, but luckily, he was intelligent enough to understand I didn't choose my situation, and it would only be a matter of time before everything was corrected.
"him penetrating me" - by this, do you mean anally? "he's already ate me out" - pre or post-op? Anally, naturally. Post op.
And it does self lubricate. Ah, out of curiosity, how did they rearrange the plumbing down there to accomplish that? From my understanding self lubrication wasn't possible. The estrogen therapy is secreted through the vaginal lining, there's also natural secretion from the prostate and cowper's gland.
From a purely technical standpoint, that's pretty amazing. I've seen some pics of naked women on the internet, and I'd be hard pressed to guess that's not OEM. When spread, does it look as convincing? Yes of course, its beautiful! :) The idea of spreading my legs wide open and taking a photo wouldn't have gone well with my boyfriend lol.
I wasn't asking for that, I was just marveling at the skill of the doctor. :)
It is great to hear that you have had so much support and you're gorgeous by the way! How did your boyfriends family react to you being MTF? Thank you. I believe they weren't okay with it at first, I mean, it's a lot to take in. But now I have a wonderful relationship with them, specially his mom. Her and I have a great relationship.
How much money were all the surgeries? Around 100k.
Pics? Link to i50.tinypic.com
I notice a lot of mtf transexuals are very thin. Is there some kind of secret extreme diet culture in this population or am I only recalling the most salient examples and overgeneralizing? Lol, not that I know of! I actually think I am a bit too thick.
Well I wouldn't go as far as calling you thick.. Haha.
Proof? Link to i50.tinypic.com
I've seen perhaps a dozen MTF IAMAs on reddit, and zero FTM IAMAs. Anecdotal experience, of course. But is it statistically more common, perhaps? Im not sure if statistically it's more common, however, I know that complete transition for FTM is more difficult, unlike MTF their genitals can't be completely replicated to those of a men. And what they can achieve takes multiple long surgeries.
How deep was your voice before you removed the Adam's Apple and did you have to do any voice lessons after? Did it hurt to talk after the surgery? btw you're mad gorgeous. Not very deep, and no I haven't had any voice lessons. I haven't had adam's apple reduction because I don't have enough adam's apple, mine never developed strongly enough.
Congratulations on a successful transition! You look gorgeous! :D When you fight with your boyfriend, are you more the type that wants to talk it out or just "forget about it" and hold a grudge? Also, are you more straightforward or do you beat around the bush in terms of confrontation? I am pretty straight forward as far as confrontation goes. I have no problem with telling it to my boyfriend how I feel it is. I am quite outspoken, and self righteous lol. But I can hold a grudge here and there, or at least pretend to for some ultimate guilt trip type scenario.
Also another question! When did you start wearing feminine clothes? Were you ever judged for transitioning in your life? I dont know if I was judged, as no one openly did it. But I am sure some had reserved opinions.
Ok here it goes...for science. Proof? I am not sure if it would be appropriate to post a photo of my vagina.. I am still trying to figure out a way to proof.
Any shot of your fancy new vagina will do. Link to i50.tinypic.com
Ok fair enough. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to put pics like that on the internet. Then again you said, I couldn't tell you had an SRS, but I have seem some less than par work out of Thailand, so I'm even more curious. Lol. I have seen less than impressive work as well, but usually on older people. For some reason they always seem to struggle more with transition.
Favorite vacation spot? Random question, Italy. I love Rome, Milan, Madrid.
Have you read gender outlaws? amazing book. No, but I will check it out! Thanks.
What was the first piece of girl-clothing you dropped serious cash on? I ask because a MTF friend of mine (who luckily had small feet!) had her eye on some Jeffrey Campbell booties, and got them as soon as she felt "feminine enough" to pull them off. Lol, I am totally a shopping addict. My most expensive dress is an off the runway Zac Posen dress that retailed at about 6k. And I am completely high heel addicted. I own a few dozen Christian Louboutins. I don't buy these things to feminize myself, but I definitely feel more feminine in a dress and stilettos.
Yikes...that is some definite cash. I am astounded and jealous... except where would I go in the pacific northwest that would require Zac Posen? All is right with the world again. So glad you're doing this AMA. I want to ask more serious questions but I'm really blanking! :)
Oh god except I just found some dresses that are tantalizingly "practical" for the PNW. This is why I have to stay on Reddit and away from fashion blogs. Haha.
What about the natural breast growth + augmentation processes? Can you explain how those went in detail please? When did you start natural growth? How long did it take? What size did you get to before going with augmentation? Sorry for all the questions, but your AMA has me intrigued! :) I was a small A cup before augmentation, and after my breast augmentation two years ago to a C cup, I feel my breast have grown another cup to a D. Which in my small frame, isn't THAT big, but definitely there. I am considering a reduction!
For your reduction, how would that work if you've had augmentation done? Would they reduce the breast tissue that's grown naturally in your body or would they remove/replace the implants you have? Just replace the implants with smaller ones.
I'm not sure how appropriate these questions are but I'll go ahead and ask anyway. Do you want to have children? How do you feel about not being able to have your own? Did you save any of your own sperm before transitioning so you could one day use a surrogate? If you do plan on having children, are there any typically male gendered activities that you enjoyed growing up that you'd want to share with your children (coach a baseball team, fishing, etc.)? I would totally love to have children and I am sure I will, whether through surrogacy or adoption. My boyfriend and I both love children and plan on having a family. And no masculine activities, but I definitely will play a big part in my daughter's life.
What are your opinions on gender equality having been on both sides of the issue? Do you find it offensive when men ask for sandwiches? For sandwiches?
You're very young to have already undergone surgery. When did you realize you were transgendered? When did you tell your parents? Were you open in high school and what was your "coming out" process like? Sorry that was a lot of questions but the only post-op people I have met were in their 40s. Also is post-op an acceptable term to use? I realized in my early teen years, and I told my parents a in High School. I didn't have a coming out process, it made sense to them, because of the way I was evolving.
Have you ever read the book "Invisible Monsters"? It's good... and sort of terrible. No but I'll check it out.
Is it weird to have to sit down to pee? Also, do you or did you get any sexual satisfaction before just from dressing like a girl? Have you been tempted to wear pads or tampons to experience a bit more of the life of an XX female? Sorry if these questions are too personal. Also you are brave. :) Not weird to have to sit down and pee. I have been doing it my whole life. And I wear pads at times, depending on how I am feeling. Nobody likes wetting their dress.
Wow. I did not know something like this was even possible. Is there some site I could read more about how this process works? Sure, google sexual reassignment surgery!
Do you have any advice for those who are just started transition? would love to talk more with you? My advice would be to keep your head up high, and dont be afraid to be who you feel you are. I think self love and acceptance is the most important factor that plays into a successful transition. So get to know yourself and become your best friend.
What do you think about the whole debacle with Jenna Talackova and the miss universe pageant? Also 100k is a lot of money at your age, I am guessing your parents were fully supportive and fronted the money? I think the Miss Universe deal is a bit ridiculous, I understand fighting for a right cause, but at this point it just seems like she wants attention. My parents didn't really pay, my boyfriend and I both make a good living.
of all, you are an absolutely beautiful woman, and very brave. Congratulations on your transition! Second, and my apologies if this has been asked already (I couldn't find it in the thread anywhere), what social differences do you notice being a woman as opposed to being male? Are you treated differently, and if so, how? Huge social differences. I realize society is a lot nicer and more supportive of women, specially beautiful women. It sounds corny and like a cliche, but seriously there are huge perks to it.
Interesting! Can you elaborate on what you mean by perks? In general, people are more courteous, men are more generous, women tend to be nicer. I don't know what to use as an example, TSA agent walking you past the line?
I know this AMA is a little bit old and you might not be answering any more questions, but you have a beautiful vagina. As a natural born woman, I'm curious as to how much say you had in what it would look like? Not much lol! When you go to the top doctor in the world you kind of hope that everything will work out well, and you trust you are in good hands.
Whats sex feel like compared to when you were a guy? I only received anal before so I wouldnt know.
I have a friend who wanted to be a woman at one point. He took so many hormones, his body actually changed. He decided a few months before his surgery that he would miss his penis too much. He stopped all of his treatments. Now this guy was a serious meth user in his early twenties, and meth ages you pretty badly. He's 28 years old and looks no older than 18 years MAYBE. His hips are still wide from the hormones I guess, and his skin is AMAZING. He married one of my best friends Saturday. They are both Bisexual and were both gender confused at one point, but they are some of the best people I know. Congratulations, and I wish you the best, few people are as brave as you are. I guess I owe you a question, not sure if this has been asked already but ohh well. Were you positive the whole time you were going through treatment that you would not miss your man parts? Absolutely positive of what I wanted, yes.
What was your name as a boy and how did you choose your girl name? I wont reveal my name as a boy, but my name came natural, it was a long time nickname.
So when you have one night stands do you tell the guys that you are transgendered before? No night stands here, have a boyfriend.
Yh but what if u did not have a boyfriend ? No I wouldnt feel obligated.
You remind me of Emilia Clarke in Game of Thrones. You're beautiful, dear :) How ironic, watching the show at the moment.
Any pics from when you were male. Not in a million years.
I have no questions. I just popped in to say that damn, you're gorgeous. It's always a bit depressing when someone who was born a boy makes a prettier girl than I, a genetic female, does Thank you :) I am sure you are beautiful too!
So how did it feel to get ur dick cut off. Liberating.. ;-P.
Unfortunately without proof of any type, I shall take this with a grain of salt and avoid asking questions until I know that you are who you say you are. What do you recommend I post as proof?
I don't actually know, possible a picture of you from years ago + a picture of you now with you holding something with your reddit name on it. Maybe.
Google "vagina" if you want to see what 'it' looks like. She's a woman, not a freak show. Thank you. Seriously guys, so much anticipation will only lead to disappointment. It doesn't look, or feel any different than natal vaginas.
Dude...you look better than most girls i see whenever i go anywhere. If i think you're hot, does that make me gayish? Or does the post op take priority and make me just looking at any other girl? Can we see another pic? I don't think it makes you gay. If I were anywhere you go, and see you saw me, there would be no difference between me and the other girls.
Full body shot? Before and after pics? Obv. we aren't going to pressure you to post photos you don't want to show, but something would be nice. Against my boyfriend's recommendations... Here is something. Link to i50.tinypic.com
This was approximately seven months ago.
Last updated: 2012-05-02 13:45 UTC Next update: 2012-05-02 14:45 UTC
This post was generated by a robot! Send all complaints to epsy.
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The Bush sisters open up about growing up i the White House, some of their most notorious missteps, and how their bond of sisterhood inspired a new book. Wat... Moderated by NBC 5's Meredith Land, Barbara Bush and Jenna Bush Hager ddiscuss their new book, Sisters First: Stories from Our Wild and Wonderful Life. This ... Jenna Bush Hager is part of American history as a former First Kid. The daughter of George W. Bush and Laura Bush, she is happily married to Henry Hager, and... Caught during interview with Rita Wilson PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/alicemasci TWITTER: [email protected] MERCH: TrumpTeesFor2020.com It may not seem to be a tall order if Ellen asks yo to call your dad, but it is when he's in the White House. Watch Jenna Bush call George W. Bush from our s... During the After Show, Jenna Bush Hager shares how her father, former President George W. Bush, reacted when she stuck her tongue out at the paparazzi. Su... Former President George H.W. Bush was honored with a state funeral that included current and former presidents and world leaders. Speakers included historian... Years before the Friday passing of her grandfather, former President George H.W. Bush, Jenna Bush Hager and her father, former President George W. Bush, sat ... Barbara Pierce Bush, twin sister of TODAY’s Jenna Bush Hager, married Craig Louis Coyne this weekend. The TODAY team gets the details on the ceremony, includ... Jenna Bush Hager is mourning the death of her father-in-law, John Hager. The 38-year-old Today co-host and daughter of former President George W. Bush took t...