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I have been left on “delivered

2020.09.20 04:51 Curlz4dayzzz I have been left on “delivered

I(F20) have been talking to this guy(M23) on and off for over a year. That being said we are not close friends or anything but I felt comfortable enough to meet up with him for a first date two days ago. The date went really well and my nervousness immediately went away when we met up. So, I was getting really good vibes from him. I should also mention that he made a lot of compliments towards me and kept saying that meeting up with me reached higher than his expectations. He also kept mentioning us going on other dates. We hung out for a couple hours and then eventually ended up having sex. It wasn’t mind blowing but it wasn’t bad either. I was excited to see him again as we had such a good connection. I honestly thought, for once, I wasn’t going to be ghosted after a date. Well, last night I went to hangout with some of my guy friends (we socially distanced) and every since last night this guy I went on the date with has left me on delivered. It’s been 24 hours and I’m still on delivered. Can anyone tell me possibly what’s up?
submitted by Curlz4dayzzz to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.09.20 04:18 American_Dogs What are some signs the person you're talking to/dating is also seeing other people?

I understand it's totally fair game until we've had the conversation. It is a little more risky in these times. But I don't expect to be told and it's weird to ask so early on.
We've had great chemistry and have been connecting super well, have met up twice now, but she normally takes 12-24 hours to respond to my texts. The interest is there, she's sharing stuff with me and asking questions, thoughtful, intelligent, witty - also moving the conversation along. This week though, I got left on read for 4 days and she went radio silent until I tried to follow on insta (because I didn't want to seem like an jerk if the problem was that my texts hadn't gone through) and only then she continued the text convo without acknowledging the pause.
At first, I chalked this up to just texting preference, but no one takes this long. I've also been the one to prompt both meetups/dates and her initial response to both was a casual along the lines of "yeah down to hang!" which.. is positive of course, and we vibed really well in person. But I can't help but feel like I'm more interested than she is. Even if we've been dating, even if we text almost every day for the past month. First time dealing with this and it does kind of suck.
submitted by American_Dogs to dating_advice [link] [comments]

2020.09.20 01:01 invisaligns What's your opinion on texting in a relationship?

Hello! I'm (F21) an INxJ (my F and T are 50/50) dating an (M22) ISTJ for a couple months now. It's been the most healthiest relationship I've been in thus far. We vibe well in person and have amazing intellectual and emotional deep talks. Being both introverts we respect each others need for space.
Despite this, when we're apart, I find the biggest difference between us is texting style. I'm someone who is an avid texter. I enjoy texting and I like to feel connected to someone when we're apart. My ISTJ boyfriend, however, is the complete opposite. He replies promptly and consistently, but the replies are typically very short and dry: like an "okay!," "indeed," "aw," "that's good." I find it kills conversation. On text I'm typically an upbeat person so I'm usually the one who will chit chat more and keep it going, but on my bad days I get pretty irritated at those responses. I know I shouldn't take it personally, because I know he continues to tell me goodnight/goodmorning every day and calls me every night so I know he cares, but man those responses though.
I'm pretty sure it's a personality thing. So to fellow ISTJs, what's your opinion on texting or your experiences with an SO with different texting styles? How did you compromise? What compromises do you suggest? Thanks!
submitted by invisaligns to ISTJ [link] [comments]

2020.09.19 22:45 Curlz4dayzzz I was left on “delivered”

I have been talking to this guy on and off for over a year. That being said we are not close friends or anything but I felt comfortable enough to meet up with him for a first date two days ago. The date went really well and my nervousness immediately went away when we met up. So, I was getting really good vibes from him. I should also mention that he made a lot of compliments towards me and kept saying that meeting up with me reached higher than his expectations. We hung out for a couple hours and then eventually ended up having sex. It wasn’t mind blowing but it wasn’t bad either. I was excited to see him again as we had such a good connection. I honestly thought, for once, I wasn’t going to be ghosted after a date. Well, last night I went to hangout with some of my guy friends (we socially distanced) and every since last night this guy I went on the date with has left me on delivered. It’s been 24 hours and I’m still on delivered. Can anyone tell me possibly what’s up?
submitted by Curlz4dayzzz to dating_advice [link] [comments]

2020.09.19 09:47 lifelongstudent2003 My story...

Betrayed after giving my ex a second chance and lost on how to find closure and move on
I (20F) took my ex (23M) back and reconnecting with him was so exhilarating, he told me how sorry he was about last time and how he regretted it (we only lasted a month the first time). Note: I’m sorry if this is long but the story is messy and at the very least an interesting read so thank you to anyone who gets through the whole thing. We met on tinder and had instantaneous chemistry, we got along great (one of the main reasons he came back to me along with him being very fond of my appearance according to him). He was the one who initiated everything, he asked me out and only four days into knowing me he told me “the more I talk to you the better I feel.” I developed feelings for him and thought he did too by how much he talked to me and was attracted. He even deleted tinder a week into knowing me. The first time we FaceTimed it felt so natural, there was no awkwardness, and our personalities just clicked and we were both attracted too. I’ve never had sex before but this was the first guy I wanted it with (even though we never got around to that).
He ended it coldly out of the blue one day telling me that I lived too far away (were 50 km apart) and that he didn’t feel the same way, he was just being friendly, he didn’t reciprocate, he didn’t want to date me, I was too clingy and annoying, he didn’t have his own place, and that he just wasn’t interested in me anymore. Worst part is that he did it through text but I begged him to call me and he relented, but he told me that after that I want to move on. The phone call lasted an hour where I cried and he yelled and told me that we wouldn’t work. After the phone call I texted him a selfie of me flipping him off and he asked me “if I changed my mind again would you give up now?” And I said “omg you’re seriously doing this again?” He said “I am attracted to you” and “I said I don’t want a relationship right now.” I told him he hurt me and that I wasn’t his bitch. He told me that when he was ready we could meet but he’d only do it when he says and on his own conditions. However, at that moment we agreed to give each other space and I guess I wanted to cling onto the tiny bit of hope that he would stay. We didn’t talk for a few days aside from sending each other songs. Ultimately, he told me that he made up his mind and that he wasn’t interested and that he didn’t want to meet anymore. I just couldn’t bring myself to say goodbye so I asked him if things changed in the future would he want to meet me. He said he would for sure. I told him that’s why it’s better to leave things open ended. He agreed. The last thing I said to him was okay well text me some other time. And the last thing he said was okay. He never did (well not that I expected).
After this text conversation I screamed as loud as I could and cried my heart out. It felt like my heart was cut in two, it was the first time I experienced a break up and he was the first guy I fell for. It was very painful for me and I cried for months on end. I felt like there was an empty hole where my heart was supposed to be and I was just terrified that it was possible for me to love someone this much. I don’t know why I feel this way about him but I can’t seem to shake the feeling that he’s my soulmate despite the negatives on the virtue of the way he makes me feel alone. I tried to move on and I think I got there halfway, I accepted that the distance was something I couldn’t control and that he wouldn’t come back. The most painful part of my breakup with him was not even the fact it ended but never being able to see how it would turn out. I was deeply hurt by all the what ifs and how we could’ve been great together but circumstances fit in the way. 6 months later I download tinder again and 20 minutes into using the app, I see that he’s swiped right on me. I felt completely shocked, my heart literally skipped a beat and I cried myself to sleep that night. I left it for a few days not wanting to swipe left or right, but 4 days in I realize that it’s his birthday today. I swiped right on midnight and messaged him saying I remembered his birthday. The next morning I wake up and see, “it is and thank you for remembering. We should go out officially now. I have my own place as of next week. I’m very sorry about last time, I realized I kind of fucked up, you’re a keeper and I’m glad I found you again. I’m really sorry I didn’t take you for granted. I really want to be with you.” He asked me if I wanted to take a shot and be together. I told him “ugh you know I can’t say no to you.”
I just couldn’t believe that the guy I never thought would come back, came back. And so strongly and intensely too (he was flirty with me before but in a relaxed and reserved way). He finally showed me a side of him that was emotional and vulnerable. He told me that he loved me and that he wanted to build something real. I asked him “where was this side of you before then?” He said, “good question, I’m not sure.” He was very intense (a change from his relaxed, chill attitude from last time), he talked about us being meant to be together, how beautiful our future children would be, moving in. He constantly flattered me and always praised my appearance and told me that I was special and different from the other girls in his past, because “I cared about him unlike the other ones.” He was also very sexual and he would always discuss his sexual desires and get me to send nudes so he could masturbate. He did however say that he’s just speaking his mind and that I don’t have to do anything. He did ask me if I consented. I don’t know why he wanted them because he watches porn daily (particularly milfs which doesn’t match my body type). I welcomed this because he made me feel desirable and helped him carry out his fantasies. He texted me all the time and we had such an amazing connection. He even said that he was willing to drive four hours to pick me up and drop me off to his own place (which he never wanted to do before). The honeymoon phase eventually started to ebb away but he still seemed into it. I made him promise me he wouldn’t change his mind because I didn’t wanna relive the past and he swore he wouldn’t and would do whatever he could to make it work. We never got into arguments the first time but there were a few problems starting to emerge. I got upset with him when he refused to add me on Facebook because according to him I was too nosy and I would ask him too many questions about his past and things he wanted to forget. I was hurt by him not wanting me there and I suspected he had something to hide. He repeatedly denied having something to hide and he said it was because I was too nosy. We argued about this back and forth but he still refused (even though he told me he wanted to make up for last time by giving me “whatever my heart desires”).
This act didn’t sit well with me and it started to create resentment for him in me (a feeling I didn’t even know was possible to have with someone I’ve loved this much and have wanted to badly). Another thing I have to mention about him is that he’s had 10 exes (longest one being for a year), slept with 20 girls, and he’s only 24. A part of me felt really flattered that he would choose me above all the others (he told me that I was special and he cared about me a lot because I cared about him unlike the other ones) but the other part of me saw this as being a red flag. I don’t know if it’s unfair or not because he was young and not all the relationships were serious but it made me wonder what the issues were on his end. Another thing that became a huge problem was his refusal to get tested. He told me from the very start that he prefers unprotected sex because of the intimacy and pleasure. I got on the pill for him. One day we started off as any other day (happily and lovingly), I told him that I dreamt of us the night before and we were just so happy in it. He said that was so sweet of me and that he couldn’t wait to see me.
He then had to go back to work and I went to go do my own thing. I stumbled across an article on sociopaths in relationships (I was irked by the timing and felt off about things especially with the social media stuff) and it discussed all their habits such as love-bombing, subsequent emotional withdrawal, and instability. I started to wonder if it was all a lie and if I was manipulated this whole time. I became kinda afraid of him and a little worried for myself. I started to secretly resent him (I never thought this possible but I’m proud of myself for achieving such a feeling towards him if that makes sense) but I didn’t wanna break it off because I’ve made good memories with him and am still emotionally attached (which was why I took him back). A couple of hours after the “dream” conversation and reading the article, I decided to test him (we were planning on meeting two days from that point and had been taking for three weeks), I told him that I missed a pill. He immediately texted back saying I needed to set an alarm. I then told him I fell asleep before taking it. I asked him, “are you seriously blaming me for that?” He said, “yeah I am. I wanted to see you but you changed your mind and didn’t take the pill like you were supposed to.” I then proceeded to tell him that I wanted him to get tested or we could have condom sex the first time. He said he would rather wait a month because raw sex was important and it wouldn’t be the same otherwise. I was worried about his refusal to get tested and he got really mad at me for missing the pill and for interfering with our plans so soon before meeting. He told me, “Jesus Christ I’m mad. I wanted to see you but now I’m getting frustrated with you. I was supposed to see you this week, just fucking do it and stop worrying about stupid shit! This stupid shit is keeping us apart. Fucking stupid. That’s why I get annoyed. If you told me this was a concern earlier I would be more understanding.” I told him I was caught up in the excitement of reconnecting after so long and wasn’t thinking of practical matters. He said, “you don’t trust me? I have no diseases or anything, you’re not going to get pregnant, just trust me here please.” I said it was risky to have raw sex right now but we could still meet if he wanted to. He said “okay let’s meet then.” To be fair, he never said we had to have penetrative sex the first time meeting, I was the one who kept that up because I wanted to lose my virginity and I wanted to show him I cared by letting him get something out of driving so much. He then cut the conversation abruptly and told me that he wasn’t going to get tested during coronavirus and risk getting sick. Although, he repeatedly asked me when i was going to figure out the birth control and get on the pill. I was really upset by how I did something for him and he wouldn’t for me. I asked him if he still cared and he said, “I’d care more if you just trusted me and met like how we were originally supposed to.” I told him that it wasn’t safe right now and my dad was sick (this was in mid-March while quarantine started). He said he understood and we’d make it work and we’d find another time to see each other.
I asked him when he would get tested and he got really annoyed saying that he was really upset with me cancelling on him and how this stupid shut was keeping us apart (“if you want to be with me then just see me and go with the flow”). I told him that I was willing to wait and that he didn’t want to get tested while coronavirus was a thing and risk getting infected (I can see his side of this so I don’t know if it’s a red flag or not). He was anyway very adamant about not having any stds and he told me had no symptoms and hadn’t had sex in a year. I just let it go in the moment but this along with the Facebook thing resurfaced in a few more arguments. One night after another argument he said that he had to be honest and said that “I dong know if we’re a good match lol because we fight and argue a lot.” I said “yeah we do” and then he said “all i want is for me to see you and you forget the testing and Facebook and all the other bullshit.” I told him we could see each other he said to leave it at that then. I was starting to have doubts but I couldn’t bring myself to end it (I have a habit of clinging onto good memories) but he showed me a side of him that I didn’t know about. I could surmise he was selfish because the way he walked out on me the first time was very cold due to the way he did it. I’m glad he came back because I finally got to confront him about it. He told me that he said all those things to get me off the phone because I was very attached and he had to let go at the time because he couldn’t see a way to make it work without having his own place. It was nonetheless a very selfish thing to do, it negatively impacted my mental health and I constantly thought about how confusing it all was and became obsessed with the situation.
Some background knowledge on my ex: he comes from a middle-class white background and grew up in a stable family environment. His parents were married until his mother’s death and I am fairly certain he has a good relationship with his family, however he did say insulting things about his sister in law, how she’s annoying, how he would never want a woman who acts like her, and very selfish. I don’t know what this woman is like so I can’t say if it’s valid or not. I also must mention that he only likes women of colour (brown and Asian girls not black women). He always praised my facial features like full lips, brown eyes, and light brown skin tone. I asked him why and he said it’s probably because of interracial porn or that he doesn’t like women who look like his blonde blue eyed mom. He has a university degree and a stable job and now his own place. I’ve talked to a few people who knew him as friends and they all said he was quiet and a friendly guy. However, he was always very bold and talkative with me in our FaceTime conversations. I’ve asked him more than once if he is bipolar and he has always denied this. He always got really upset whenever I brought up what happened last summer and he said that we can’t talk about it constantly or else he can’t do this. He also said that he can’t give me an answer I want anyway because he can’t remember what happened, yet he remembers random details like how I like wearing jeans?! He’s also slept with 20 women and has had ten ex-girlfriends, mostly having unprotected sex and he does not get tested after every new partner. He hates using condoms because he says that he doesn’t enjoy sex with them and they break on him because he can last up to an hour. He is intelligent, eloquent, well-spoken and has studied criminology in university and hopes to become a police officer. He should probably be familiar with personality disorders then. Do people like this know they have a problem? Another random thing is he told me how a video game storyline (red dead redemption 2) made him cry and think about life afterwards. It’s just so strange to me picturing this man cry, so I guess he isn’t afraid of feeling his emotions. Another thing that doesn’t sit well with me at all but I could be overanalyzing, I did some research and I found his mother’s obituary she passed away on March 22nd, on March 27th he uploads a selfie (in which he is wearing a tux so I’m assuming is for the funeral) smiling with the caption “rip momma.” I thought this was a really strange thing to do, if this happened to me I would certainly never post a picture of just myself. He also used this picture as a profile picture for many years and on his tinder and bumble profiles. Why would he do this?
One day (I guess I just finally had a breaking point because of thinking about all the old and new emotional baggage) and I texted him saying that his refusal to get tested was a serious problem for me and that if he didn’t want to get tested he could go find someone else who would have raw sex with him no questions asked because it wouldn’t be me. He texts back two hours later saying “alright that’s what I’ll do then. Take care.” Immediately after he responded waves of regret began to wash over me and I told him I changed my mind and I didn’t want him to leave and I really wanted to see him in person and not repeat last time. He agreed and said that “as long as you don’t bring up the Facebook or testing again.” I wasn’t happy about this but resigned because I didn’t want him to leave. The next day he texts me making small talk (our usual) I’m still very resentful of what went down the night before but didn’t want to bring up the testing or Facebook for fear of pushing him away again so I involuntarily unleashed my frustration and anger towards him in other ways. We started off talking about shows and our day but we eventually started to veer off topic to language and politics. He gets really mad at me for calling him sexist and objectifying me. He then very rashly says “I will block your number. I don’t think we should be together anymore. We never have good conversations.” I told him that I was shocked he would say this as we’ve had great times too. He told me that from now on we shouldn’t text as he gets very bad vibes from texting. I told him I wanted us to go back to normal. He said that everything can only be in person or FaceTiming.
Our conversations become less and less frequent and he refuses to FaceTime as he keeps telling me that he’s busy and too tired all the time all of a sudden. Naturally I become suspicious and find out that he’s rejoined tinder from one of my friends. He stops initiating any texts with me and I became really sad. I decided not to confront him through text about it because it would be better to do it in person. One day I just couldn’t take his silence and asked him what’s wrong, he said nothing’s wrong and he just needed space right now. I try to resolve our issues with him but he tells me he doesn’t want to talk. So I just leave it and become more resentful for being lied to. One day after like two weeks of not talking I ask him if he wants to FaceTime tomorrow afternoon he says, “okay I will try, I promise.” I text him the next day at the time we agreed to talk and he texts back hours later saying “sorry I took a nap lol.” I send him paragraph after paragraph on how he’s hurting me with his neglect and that we can fix things as long as he puts in the effort. He doesn’t respond and two hours later he texts me a paragraph saying that this wouldn’t work anymore, he doesn’t think were a good fit, he’s just not feeling it anymore, and how he’s kinda been talking to someone else lately too and he doesn’t want to lie to me. He also says the reasons it didn’t work the first time (with the distance) are coming back to him now. This is what angered me he promised me that if I took him back we wouldn’t go through that again. But I wasn’t gonna let him off the hook that easy this time, not after all his grandiose promises. I beg him to reconsider and to see me in person before writing it off. He reluctantly agrees but still doesn’t initiate conversation anymore. I just gave him space after that outburst for a few weeks until a few days ago where I texted him calmly about our problems. He responds saying that his only problem is that I sometimes overwhelm him with messages and often asking the same questions. I ask him to promise me to try and meet in person before my birthday in four weeks. He says he’ll try but it could be difficult with the quarantine. I ask him about the other girls and he says he’d rather communicate these things in person and not through text. I’m honestly not even jealous or mad about this, only sad. I used to feel so jealous of the thought of all the girls who were with him or will be with him but now I don’t. I guess this means something as I’m not resentful in that respect, but I don’t understand why I feel jealous. Is it not even because I’m moving on but I’ve been conditioned by him to be used to bad treatment?
One day I messaged a girl he was mutuals with on social media asking her if she could show me his following list and send me screenshots because I was hoping to find answers through other girls he may have talked to as he never gave me any. I wanted to know if he talked to them the same way he talked to me. The girl told him about what I did and he got very angry, he told me that he doesn’t care anymore, wants nothing to do with me, that it was very creepy and intrusive and that he’s done. He said coming back was a mistake and that he wishes the best for me and he’s sorry if he hurt me in the process. He said that he’s with someone else now and has been seeing them for a few weeks (I don’t think this is true not because I don’t want to believe it but because I saw him on tinder the same night this happened, I have a strong feeling he said this so I would let go like how he told me he wasn’t interested in me anymore last time). But either way all that matters is he doesn’t want me anymore. He said he’s pissed at me and this is the last straw. He said I’m annoying as shit, creepy, super clingy and we need to move on. He blocked me.
Did I mess up by contacting her? What would’ve happened if I hadn’t and we met in person? I’m regretting what I did because now I have to live with what ifs. However, I do know he treated me unkindly and I let him for those few moments of temporary happiness. I know deep down we have too much bad blood to have a future together now. He’s so unstable. He broke his promises. He told me I was special and different from all the others in the past. He showed me a lot of sincerity and vulnerability when he came back and I believed him. It’s hard to move on when this is the first person I had feelings for and he treated me like this. What do I do with the memories? The good ones and the bad. At this point I don’t know which is more painful.
I’m grateful that I never lost my virginity to this guy and never got into a real relationship with him because if he walked out on me after that I don’t know how I would’ve dealt with it. I wrote him a letter for closure, is it wise to send it? At the same time I want to to help me move on and at the same time I don’t because I don’t want to close this door forever. I don’t want to be with him, he doesn’t want me but I also don’t want to not be with him and I keep wishing that we met in another life, another time, another place, where we could be happy. I’m worried I’ll never be truly loved and that I’ll never truly love again. I really did love him selflessly and unconditionally. But he didn’t. I knew I cared more than he did but still I kept on letting him in because I hoped he would properly fall in love with me too.
What hurts is how he told me how happy he was to find me again, how it was destiny, how he was hoping that we were meant to be together, he was so crazy about me in the beginning and yet he still had no problem hurting me. I don’t understand how people change their minds, how their feelings change so quickly. I wish I could move on as easily as he could. But I know I’ll have to. I just don’t know how or when. Will someone like him ever truly love anyone? I wonder if he’s ever experienced proper heartbreak before,the kind where you feel as if your heart has been ripped from your chest and miss them beyond belief. That’s how I felt the first time he left. The second time, I had my doubts too, about his character, about his past, the fact he had so many exes, and how disrespectful he was to me before. I tried my best to look past it because I didn’t want to leave someone I loved so much and felt so connected to. I’m worried he’ll always be a part of me, that I’ll always look for his shadows in other guys. He said he was committed and because we had a few fights about him not adding me and getting tested, he started believing we were incompatible. Looking back, he didn’t care about a special bond or connection, he just wanted someone who would be agreeable and fulfil all his demands. These ‘connections’ are disposable to him.
It’s just hard to accept that this time it’s finally over. Or it may not be because of his track record. Why are some guys are like this? Does he have mental health issues? I always suspected it. Or is he just too broken to love? Or is he not capable of it in the first place? Do people like him even feel guilty about it? Do you think he’ll feel regret for losing someone who truly loved him? He did last time. What will happen in his future relationships? Is a guy like this ever capable of lifelong love? How do I move on? The first time he left all I did was cry for weeks reminiscing about the good times, the sweet things he said, the connection we had. This time I feel numb and in shock. I can’t think properly. I feel like a part of my brain is in shock. I don’t know what to do and I worry about him being my only soulmate because I’ve never felt this way before and worry I won’t again for anyone. I’ve tried dating other perfectly acceptable nice, funny, attractive (better than him on paper) guys but no one compared to the connection I had with him. Do I just have Stockholm syndrome? Am I just a love-bombed woman? I don’t think he was lying to me about his feelings, I think it was real in the moment but I slowly pushed him away because of my emotional baggage (which he caused anyway). But the fact that he was able to throw away something meaningful over such little things just shows that it never meant much to him. How do I reconcile what my brain understands and what my heart feels? How do I get over this? Being betrayed so deeply? Having promises that he was here to stay, that he just wants to love me and make me happy, that he’s committed completely broken? How will I deal with the trust issues that come from this? Is it really true that people always remember their first love, even if it was toxic and ended badly? Will I truly move on? Should I send him the letter for closure? Or is there some way I can find it on my own? How will I know when I have moved on?
This is what I wrote in the immediate aftermath of the breakup. I had a complete breakdown and honestly went insane for a bit. That feeling dissipated pretty quickly this time surprisingly enough, and I was normal (although sad and angry) after like two weeks. On May 31st in the evening (5 days after my birthday and three weeks after our breakup) he messages me the most tone-deaf delusional thing ever. I honestly wonder if he’s trying to trick me or something because it’s so ridiculous, it can’t be serious, right? I wish I could understand his depraved, narcissistic brain. He wrote, “Hey, Which of the people associated with me on Facebook and Instagram did you message about me? Please for my own sake of mind let me know as some of them are ignoring me or not responding to me now I just want to know. Thank you” (I must note that he left out the period at the end and his word choice was very repetitive, I feel like with him I need to psychoanalyze every little thing). I don’t understand why he would send me this, what could be the meaning of this? What reaction could he be hoping for? I know for a fact that the girls I messaged about him don’t talk to him because they told me this. I also know that he didn’t “find someone else” when we broke up. I know that he wasn’t with someone else when he sent me that, but I know that he was looking for a replacement online. I’m not sure how to respond, it’s been four months since I ghosted him and now that he’s kept me unblocked, I don’t know if I should use this opportunity to get the last word in and tell him how awful he is. I am past the stage of being sad and wanting him back. I never felt jealous interestingly enough and I actually feel sorry for the next woman who he will mistreat. I do however want revenge and I want to make him suffer as he made me suffer. Please help me analyze my mental state and his mind and behaviour. I have never felt more alone and empty.
submitted by lifelongstudent2003 to u/lifelongstudent2003 [link] [comments]

2020.09.19 04:43 zenjed My (23M) boyfriend has a group of girl best friends that weren’t very friendly and rude to me (26F) He shared with me that he used to like the rudest girl, and the girl liked him back but they felt it’s better to be friends

As the title goes.
I have been dating my boyfriend for eight months. On our second month of dating, he brought me to meet his friends. I was really happy but it didn’t turn out well. He has a group of girl best friends who weren’t that friendly and kinda rude to me.
One of them didn’t even talked to me and talked to him the whole time, acted as if I didn’t exist despite me trying to chip in to the conversation. She gave me the side eye and i was really taken aback. (She was the one who told my bf to bring me to meet them) This is the girl that used to have some sort of a history with him. (They used to like each other but didn’t pursue it as they find that it’s better to be friends instead)
His other girl best friends were just giving off an unfriendly vibe. Didn’t talk to me and one of them kept referring me as “xx’s 26 year old girlfriend” instead of my name. I read their group chats as my boyfriend were showing me that he told his friends about me, and they were asking about my age a few times, they laughed about how i look like a certain someone and all of them were eager to meet me. But when we met, the energy was just like how I mentioned. Maybe this is because it’s our first time meeting each other? But i don’t feel comfortable and i have overreacted a lot to this. I feel guilty.
My boyfriend and I argued a lot on this. He said he doesn’t have any feelings for that rudest girl anymore and that they’re just friends. He’s sorry on behalf of his friends. He started talking less to them and I felt guilty. Not long afterwards due to the constant fights, we went on no contact for like months and is now back in contact.
I feel like I should trust him and manage my jealousy. His girl best friends would post stories of him telling how much they miss him and I understand if it’s how they are but I don’t feel comfortable about it. But i understand that this is not within my control. I highly doubt if their boyfriends have girl best friends like them, they’d like it. But i have to deal with my jealousy and be okay with it. I want to be okay with it as I’m tired of feeling this way.
I feel jealous. At the same time, i feel guilty. My boyfriend and i doesn’t get to spend much time together due to the quarantine and we haven’t went out on a date since March. Even before covid, it was hard to meet because of legitimate reasons. When i see his friends post throwback videos of them spending time together at nice places such as hotels, high end cafes, and basically a lot of other places, I feel kinda sad and sidelined. Most of the time when we go on dates, we’d go to McDonalds, malls and chill in the parking lot. Don’t get me wrong, I treasure all those moments with him and I don’t mind about the places but seeing how different things were between me and his friends, it kinda makes me sad? He used to post stories of them having fun, calling his best friends beautiful and all that but I don’t really get that kinda posts.
He said it’s all in the past as things were a bit more carefree and his financial life were better. Now due to covid, it took a turn and it’s been really hard for him. He didn’t even post stuff anymore on his social media. We haven’t been spending much time together, we didn’t get to call often, and texting less. Let alone meet. And this is frustrating.. he mentioned that he might be depressed. I’m trying my best to support him and understand him but sometimes I break down when he gets cold and nonchalant, and also when i see his girl best friends posting videos and stories of how much they love him and miss him, he’d reply to them nicely but with me, sometimes i get cold replies. I know it’s not his fault. I believe he’s genuine and is going through a hard time. But I don’t know how to deal with my emotions and support him at the same time.
TLDR; I feel jealous and sad that my boyfriend’s girl best friends were rude to me but clingy with him. We’re going through a hard time due to the quarantine, he is depressed and is going through a lot of harder things. We haven’t been communicating much and spending time with each other for months. I feel defeated juggling between being understanding and having my needs to connect with him unmet. Am i selfish? And a narcissist? If yes, please tell me.
submitted by zenjed to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.09.19 03:57 EverythingToGold How to handle shy girls who won’t commit to meeting?

So I’m texting this girl and every time I make a move to set up a date she goes “maybe”.
I call her out on it and ask her “what’s on your mind” she said “what do u mean” I said “everything is a maybe with you. I feel like we’re vibing and connecting but it seems to me like something is stopping you from taking it further. What is it” she then tells me that she’s shy and apologizes, “I don’t wanna say yes because I might chicken out the last second, but i don’t wanna say no because I might be down for it that night, so I say maybe”. Again, classic female behavior so not surprised.
Context is we’ve built some rapport over text, she’s shared her sexual fantasies with me, the usual likes to be dominated/choked/held down while being fucked etc. From the outside, she looks like a shy girl, is an introvert, like staying indoors etc. so I’m inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt.
What do my fellow red pilled brothers suggest to do in a situation like this to make her stop beating around the bush? (Or maybe if some of you think she is just using it as an excuse, keen to hear your opinions too)
submitted by EverythingToGold to asktrp [link] [comments]

2020.09.19 03:16 galex-y A day in the life: bpd edition

Background: diagnosed 2 months ago + my fp cut me off/broke up with me about a month ago
3am: I woke up and couldn’t fall back to sleep so I got high so I could sleep again.
8:45: my coworkers are calling me because I missed morning meeting and I have 5 minutes to log on before the kids do (I am a teacher, we are remote). I still felt high. Wasn’t fully awake for class to begin. I signed on by 8:53 and faked it until I got my shit together while panicking trying not to cry lol
9:30: I text this girl I’ve been talking to (and really communicating well with!) that I’m having a rough morning because I overslept and I was kind of freaking out. She was super understanding and I felt like we had this amazing connection. I felt so much better and I felt like I had gotten control of my emotions. I was truly happy. We’ve only been talking and seeing each other for like 2 weeks.
11:45am: a different girl than that girl from earlier asks me to be her date to her coworker’s party. We’ve been flirty lately and I say yes. I was kind of hoping to go home with her.
4:00: I find out the girl who invited me to the party doesn’t drink or smoke and won’t be at the party. I don’t want to go.
8:15pm: I pull up in front of the party and panic in my car for 15 min until I text her that my mom called and needs my help so I have to go. I apologized profusely and she insisted she understood. I couldn’t go and meet people and be social and nice and be sober all night?
So I texted the first girl but I got a vibe that she didn’t want to see me so I stopped answering.
I texted my cousin and drove to his house. I’m currently typing this from my car on his block. I’m about to go home. 😭😭
I’m exhausted and my life is a mess lol
(Advice accepted and encouraged)
submitted by galex-y to BPD [link] [comments]

2020.09.19 02:05 V4RI4NCE I don't know who I am, I don't understand why people behave as they do, and I'm lost in a world I've never felt comfortable in. [31M]

I was raised by two emotionally-stunted people. At 31, I've only recently started piecing my life together in a genuine effort to make sense of anything that has happened over the last 15 years. I'm better, but I'm constantly faced with the destruction my psychological profile explains.
Despite making multiple attempts, I've never achieved self-sufficiency. I nearly did while I was living in an apartment across the street from my university and negotiating a contract to a full-time job I was excited about; but quarantine hit. No more job, I'm moving out of my apartment this month, and severe ADHD makes remote learning a near impossibility.
So many times, I was told that I was going to be somebody. Adults told me that all through-out my life; they just got a vibe from me. As I sit here in the bedroom of my parents' house, I can't help but remember when I was more connected to people around me. Like in High School.
But, starting at 19-20, I started to isolate myself. People were so bizarre, so unpredictable (not least of all myself) that I stopped trying. I've been in one romantic relationship for about six months. It ended just before she was the victim of a violent crime. I don't date anymore. I've tried, but again, I don't understand people. Now, with dating, not only am I totally lost, but I have an intrinsic association between violence and heartbreak.
I want to feel at home. I want to feel relaxed. I want to feel love. I want to behave productively. I want to have a life now. After everything that's happened, I can't help but think what those adults saw paid off in another timeline. Mine is the one in which the world crashes down around me.
I don't know how you can help me. I guess I just needed someone to know how lost I feel.
submitted by V4RI4NCE to helpme [link] [comments]

2020.09.19 00:16 amyzingamy1993 ENFP falling fast and hard for an INTP...Any dating advice?

Hello lovely INTPs! I already posted this story in the ENFP subreddit but would appreciate more advice & tips from the INTP perspective~
I have been seeing an INTP guy of my age who I met on dating site since Sept 1 this year, and the vibes are incredible! He calls himself an ambivert because he tested as 55% introverted. We share many common interests (he loves watching standup comedy and I do standup as a hobby; I'm trying to pivot into tech and he's a creative techie; we both are nerdy curious active readers & adventurers), similar goofy energy and sense of humour - time flew by so fast whenever we were together! So many insider jokes and banters! I love how witty, honest (sometimes blunt), open minded, calm, optimistic, quirky and intelligent he is and he said I'm funny & adorably cute <3. He told me not to fall too deep though because he's too spontaneous (and might move to another city in a year :'( ) but honestly being the hopeless romantic & passionate ENFP myself it's so hard not to! My heart is filled with warm fuzzy feelings whenever we interact. And he further ignites the aliveness in me.
Before meeting him, I went through a period of depression and felt kinda disoriented in life. Even though he didn't directly cheer me up in words (INTP is not as emotionally expressive as we are), his optimistic energy lifted me up and inspired me to action on my creative pursuits (he said this was the best compliment he's ever got lol). On our last date I told him I'm so grateful to have met him; and he told me he felt the same - he could be his authentic self around me <3.
Even though the connection is still new and we're not sure if things will eventually work out between us, I really cherish every moment with him. He's the first INTP I have romantic feelings for and the chemistry we share is sth I never experienced before when dating other types (including INTJs & INFJs which are in theory the "best match" for ENFPs). Unlike my past dating experiences where I felt butterflies and anxiety at the same time (due to my anxious attachment style), with him I felt strong sparks but barely any anxiety (which is GOOD sign, since I used to struggle with relaxing when seeing someone I really like). Although he doesn't text much, I felt like we could talk freely about literally anything in person; we like each other just the way we are (which is not always a given; since we both have flaws); he would honestly and constructively point out things I can improve on without being too critical (i.e. my tendency to be scattered/all over the place) ...and OMG the sex was soooo good too!
Current challenge: Since I'm falling fast and hard for him (being my emotional self), I'm really scared of getting hurt, as I went through a series of heartbreaks in the past. As INTP he is definitely more calm and rational than me, very career oriented, and develops romantic feelings on a much slower pace. I don't want my intense affections to scare him away and ruin everything (and tried VERY hard to hold back from smothering him); but in the meantime I can't get him off my mind and lowkey wish he could reciprocate my level of affection (which I know is a bit unrealistic ><)...It's a wonderful and very scary feeling at the same time. I like him so much that I start getting very self conscious and afraid of annoying him. Anyone got any advice for this hopeless ENFP?
(Thanks so much for reading through my LONGGGGG rambling...Really needed to let this out since my heart was literally bursting out of my chest as I typed it up ><)
submitted by amyzingamy1993 to INTP [link] [comments]

2020.09.18 20:46 w0rldtrav3ler Tired of OLD

I am so tired of the endless matches and boring conversations with men who are obviously only interested in hooking up. Yes, I do get a decent number of matches, but nobody is truly interested in me.
Are any women out there also feeling this? I just want genuine conversations and yet everyone I talk to tries to shift it to hooking up. My OLD profiles aren’t really suggestive, so I don’t think I’m giving off the vibes of only looking for casual sex. Is it my age? I’m 20F and maybe it’s just my age group and being in a college town where hook up culture is so prominent. I just feel so unsatisfied.
Currently, I’m content and don’t want to seek out any other FWBs, but I just want to connect with someone without the conversation dying or being incredibly dull.
How can I stop being so reliant on dating apps to fill the unsatisfied hole in my life?
submitted by w0rldtrav3ler to dating [link] [comments]

2020.09.18 16:12 amrluca 19 [M4F] [Relationship] UK - Looking for my player 2

Seems like “dating” apps just aren’t the right places to be looking for something worthwhile, so it’s time to try my luck here and hopefully find a real proper connection that can lead to something more. Would love to have that special someone to enjoy taking on life together in a long term committed way. What high priority person to give as much of my time, effort and emotion possible to (just a warning there’s a lot of it!) as long ya want it and would do the same in return.
It'd be great if you're a chatty person as I love to text and voice chat altho can be quite awkward and shy at first! Pretty much on Discord 90% of my free time chatting with friends. Also it would be amazing if you were also into games as we could play together! That and it kinda makes it easier to get along if into similar sorts of interests, but I’m totally open to anyone and their own different lifestyles.

About me:

There is plenty more I’d be glad to chat about or if ya wanna know other stuff just ask away!

About you:

Well if you somehow ended up here and read all my post without getting bored then I give you a big thank you for your time. If you feel like there’s a chance of something then please go ahead and DM me and tell me a bit about yourself! If things go well we can move to Discord or something else and chat some more. Thank you for coming to my TED talk, have a nice day/night!
submitted by amrluca to MeetPeople [link] [comments]

2020.09.18 16:11 amrluca 19 [M4F] UK - Looking for my player 2

Seems like “dating” apps just aren’t the right places to be looking for something worthwhile, so it’s time to try my luck here and hopefully find a real proper connection that can lead to something more. Would love to have that special someone to enjoy taking on life together in a long term committed way. What high priority person to give as much of my time, effort and emotion possible to (just a warning there’s a lot of it!) as long ya want it and would do the same in return.
It'd be great if you're a chatty person as I love to text and voice chat altho can be quite awkward and shy at first! Pretty much on Discord 90% of my free time chatting with friends. Also it would be amazing if you were also into games as we could play together! That and it kinda makes it easier to get along if into similar sorts of interests, but I’m totally open to anyone and their own different lifestyles.

About me:

There is plenty more I’d be glad to chat about or if ya wanna know other stuff just ask away!

About you:

Well if you somehow ended up here and read all my post without getting bored then I give you a big thank you for your time. If you feel like there’s a chance of something then please go ahead and DM me and tell me a bit about yourself! If things go well we can move to Discord or something else and chat some more. Thank you for coming to my TED talk, have a nice day/night!
submitted by amrluca to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]

2020.09.18 16:10 amrluca 19 [M4F] UK - Looking for my player 2

Seems like “dating” apps just aren’t the right places to be looking for something worthwhile, so it’s time to try my luck here and hopefully find a real proper connection that can lead to something more. Would love to have that special someone to enjoy taking on life together in a long term committed way. What high priority person to give as much of my time, effort and emotion possible to (just a warning there’s a lot of it!) as long ya want it and would do the same in return.
It'd be great if you're a chatty person as I love to text and voice chat altho can be quite awkward and shy at first! Pretty much on Discord 90% of my free time chatting with friends. Also it would be amazing if you were also into games as we could play together! That and it kinda makes it easier to get along if into similar sorts of interests, but I’m totally open to anyone and their own different lifestyles.

About me:

There is plenty more I’d be glad to chat about or if ya wanna know other stuff just ask away!

About you:

Well if you somehow ended up here and read all my post without getting bored then I give you a big thank you for your time. If you feel like there’s a chance of something then please go ahead and DM me and tell me a bit about yourself! If things go well we can move to Discord or something else and chat some more. Thank you for coming to my TED talk, have a nice day/night!
submitted by amrluca to r4r [link] [comments]

2020.09.18 03:11 AfterDirection5 A year later and my (30F) non-relationship with this man (38M) still haunts me

To set the stage, the year is 2018 and I'm pursuing my graduate degree. I was dealing with lots of interpersonal issues within my department and almost dropped out. I had stopped attending social functions and had become quite bitter. Then I met a guy through the most happenstance of circumstances. In fact, everything about our dynamic was just different.
We were introduced by a mutual friend. I asked him if he'd like to get a drink. After his plans were completed, he messaged me quite late, and invited me over but also offered another more reasonable hour if that didn't work. I took the bait.
I went to his house that night. We hooked up. I think it was maybe the next time we hung out, he confronted me about his current situation. He had just broken off a relationship a week ago and really wasn't looking to jump into anything. But I was dead set on playing the chill girl vibe. Also, I had a summer internship far away that I was leaving for in a couple months. So I told him, hey we have fun together. No need to get serious.
I was having increasing conflicts in my school life, which was the basis for most of my social relationships. I just ended up binging on this guy. We would spend days in his apartment. He made me breakfast every time I slept over. I had a toothbrush in his bathroom. We had some of the most intimate conversations I've ever had about life and politics. Both of us admitted we had never felt we had a safe space to discuss some of the things we did. He respected my ideas.
Before I left for the summer, I told him when I got back, I would be interested in pursuing a relationship. We didn't speak at all over the summer.
When I returned, he didn't reach out at first. So I did. He left me on read for a couple days before responding. We eventually did see each other again, and we slowly fell back into our old pattern of NSA. After about a week, I confronted him and said, "I want a relationship with you." He pulled the old "I just got out of something..."
I gave him an ultimatum. He turned me down. I said well that's it then. And his response? "This sucks."
But that really wasn't enough, now was it? I kept running into him everywhere. I would be on a date and there he'd be. Smiling at me. I finally broke down the third time I saw him unintentionally and asked him if he wanted to hang out. I had missed him and I still didn't feel like I had much of a support system outside of him. He made a move on me at some point during the night. And we were back into it! I'll spare you the back and forth, this 'breakup and get back together' thing happened four times.
It always happened in the same formula:
  1. I would get fed up and start pulling away
  2. He would react by drawing closer
  3. I would tell him ok let's be together
  4. He would say he wasn't ready
  5. I would break things off
  6. He did some gesture but half heartedly.
He fed a lot of my delusion with statements like "our relationship is unlike any other relationship I've ever had. It's not full of passion and fights and that's why it's confusing. I just need time to work through it and understand my issues." Even typing this, I'm rolling my eyes at myself. This dude had about five different excuses that he used throughout the course of a year and a half. At one point, he told me that he thought I was too young for him. He's now dating a 25 year old.
Then he started dating this girl. I was pretty upset about it because he claimed he wasn't ready to date for so long. But he had recently changed his reason to "you're moving away this year when you graduate." We went on a weekend trip together with another couple and hooked up that weekend. On the way home, we got into our first and only argument and it was one of those arguments you can't really recover from. We hung out once more after that. I didn't realize it, but it was the last time I would see him.
It has been over a year since I have SEEN this man. He is still with the same girl. He reached out at the start of the pandemic to say something like life is too short to not be talking. We had some 4 hour conversation like we always do (not talking about us, but just the world and how we felt about the pandemic). The call dropped at some point. He told me his phone died. We haven't spoken since. I've sent several text messages, he politely responds but doesn't engage the way we used to.
I have met someone new and he's great and I feel a strong connection to him. This is the first time I've felt this way since meeting my non-ex. It's not the same gut attraction that I felt for non-ex, but it's nice. However, I find myself still relating everything about the new guy to this non-ex. I'm worried this is going to continue haunting me and potentially ruin my budding relationship. How do I move on? How do you move past the feeling that someone was your soulmate when actually that person treated you really poorly and didn't deserve even a fraction of what you had to offer?


I was in a non-relationship with someone who led me on and gaslit me for nearly two years and made me believe that at some point he might be "ready" for a relationship. It has now been over a year since we stopped seeing each other and I still dream about him regularly.
He's my main reference point for previous relationships even though
  1. he was never even my boyfriend
  2. I have had serious committed relationships that lasted much longer.
I still catch myself bringing him up casually in conversations. And if I'm going to be honest with myself, I still want to be with him. Why? Because unlike any other man or person I have met, I felt seen by him in a way that no man has ever seen me before.
How do I move on?
submitted by AfterDirection5 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.09.18 01:50 amyzingamy1993 Falling fast and hard for an INTP...Any dating advice?

Hello fellow ENFPs! My first time posting in this community and would appreciate some advice & tips~
I have been seeing an INTP guy of my age who I met on dating site since Sept 1 this year, and the vibes are incredible! We share many common interests (he loves watching standup comedy and I do standup as a hobby; I'm trying to pivot into tech and he's a creative techie; we both are curious active readers & adventurers), similar goofy energy and sense of humour - time flew by so fast whenever we were together! So many insider jokes and banters! I love how open minded, calm, optimistic, quirky and intelligent he is and he said I'm funny & adorably cute <3. He told me not to fall too deep though because he's too spontaneous (and might move to another city in a year :'( ) but honestly being the hopeless romantic & passionate ENFP myself it's so hard not to! My heart is filled with warm fuzzy feelings whenever we interact. And he further ignites the aliveness in me.
Before meeting him, I went through a period of depression and felt kinda disoriented in life. Even though he didn't directly cheer me up in words (INTP is not as emotionally expressive as we are), his optimistic energy lifted me up and inspired me to action on my creative pursuits (he said this was the best compliment he's ever got lol). Yesterday on our date I told him I'm so grateful to have met him; and he told me he felt the same - he could be his authentic self around me <3.
Even though the connection is still new and we're not sure if things will eventually work out between us, I really cherish every moment with him. He's the first INTP I have romantic feelings for and the chemistry we share is sth I never experienced before with other types. Unlike my past dating experiences where I felt butterflies and anxiety at the same time, with him I felt strong sparks but barely any anxiety (which is GOOD sign, since I used to struggle with relaxing when seeing someone I really like - due to anxious attachment style). I felt like we could talk freely about literally anything in person; we like each other just the way we are (which is not always a given; since we both have flaws)...and OMG the sex was soooo good too!
Current challenge: Since I'm falling fast and hard for him (being my emotional self), I'm really scared of getting hurt, as I went through a series of heartbreaks in the past. As INTP he is definitely more calm and rational than me, very career oriented, and develops romantic feelings on a much slower pace. I don't want my intense affections to scare him away and ruin everything (and tried VERY hard to hold back from smothering him); but in the meantime I can't get him off my mind and lowkey wish he could reciprocate my level of affection (which I know is a bit unrealistic ><)...It's a wonderful and very scary feeling at the same time. Anyone got any advice for this hopeless ENFP?
(Thanks so much for reading through my LONGGGGG rambling...Really needed to let this out since my heart was literally bursting out of my chest as I typed it up ><)
submitted by amyzingamy1993 to ENFP [link] [comments]

2020.09.17 21:44 Pjd7510 Group Select Survey Results

Top 3 answers get +3, +2. and +1 balls, bottom 3 answers get -3, -2, -1.
Question 1: Favorite Baseball Player and Why
Growing up every day with Chipper and Andruw Jones in the Braves lineup for the first like 15-20 years of my life was special, Chipper in particular. Acuna is catching up fast, though.
I asked for one player though, not your entire Barves lifestory
Jake Arrieta, his rise really mirrored the cubs, and that 2015 season was incredible.
Arrieta can pound a bag of dicks for being absolute shit
Barry Bonds. He was the greatest hitter of all-time and it isn't even up for discussion. He was a hall of famer before the "alleged" steroid use and became the greatest player of all-time after. The man would get one pitch in the strike zone to hit every night and he would hit it for a home run everytime. No batter has ever been feared the way Barry was feared, not even close. Everyone can say they hate Barry Bonds and don't respect him or whatever crap they want to spew out, but the truth is, when he came up to bat, literally everyone stopped what they were doing to see what he would do, and then when he'd hit a massive home run, everyone would be in awe of his insane abilities.
Barry Bonds is lowkey one of my favorite players, this is valid reasoning.
David Ortiz. Self-explanatory.
Fuck the Red Sox
Jason Kendall bc he was a leadoff catcher and gritty as hell. He refused to ever sit out a game even though he played such a demanding position.
Kendall was one of my favorite Pirates to watch, glad to see someone else is a big Kendall fan
matt kemp, restored my love of the game. in his prime he was incredible and he seemed to be having a blast playing. oh and i'm hyper vain and he dated rhianna while being the best player in the sport and i think that's cool as fuck.
Kemp should have won MVP over Braun. Fuck Ryan Braun
Frank Thomas? Frank Thomas is just a mythical figure of childhood for me. The 2006 A's were an extremely formative team for my baseball fandom and Frank Thomas was probably the first time a player I was already aware of outside of the A's became relevant to the A's, and having him play for Oakland felt like being blessed by a god. Objectively or statistically there are more dominant hitters than Frank Thomas in history but in my mind he's the most impeccable hitter of all time.
I forgot that Big Hurt was an A. Thomas was a fun player to watch
Rickey Henderson. Unbelievable talent with a rare skillset, combined with a cool "hometown hero" story, long career, endless mythology and great stories.
Yankees Legend Rickey Henderson
Vladimir Guerrero for teaching me that strike zones are merely suggestions
It's a shame his son took that lesson the opposite way
Mariano Rivera, just a great feeling when he would come into the game and lock it down. ice cold blood in the veins, and a great team player and ambassador for the game.
There will never be another as good as Mo when it comes to locking down a game
+3 Ruairi, +2 Rose, +1 Jiggy
-3 Pole, -2 Dylan, -1 Bnavis
Question 2: Favorite High School Story
We used to pay "high stakes" Call of Duty at my friend tommy's basement. We played gun game on black ops. if you lost you got fingered in your butthole
that time in high school I went to Edinburgh to perform a musical for some Scots
Did you play the bag pipes?
9th grade a bunch of us gathered in the school library the first night of winter break and binged the lord of the rings movies. Extended editions, of course.
Thats a good way to spend a night
Four Loko Night, many shenanigans were gotten up to and the night culminated in ejecting flaming pumpkins off a bridge into a gorge
And this is how states burn to the ground
me and a couple guys got onto the very top roof of the palmer house hilton, managed to avoid a bunch of security. got good pictures
Sounds like a blast
probably driving to a city of 30k people in the middle of buttfuck nowhere, getting piss drunk and doing Too Much Molly for one person. we did all this shit and it's like 1:30, walk to a dominos and wait outside for our shit. all of a sudden this dude comes up to us and asks us if we were the ones that catcalled his gf (we were not) to which one of my buddies said "nah but i wish i would've." dude gets in his truck and chases us down streets of moose jaw saskatchewan for thirty minutes as we run for our lives while smoking grape flavored cigarillos. we get separated, i lose my phone, sleep on a merry-go-round in a park in october (so like it's 25 degrees at best) and walk to a starbucks to find a stranger that'll let me use their laptop to contact my friends bc i don't know their numbers, forgot my facebook password, forgot my gmail password to reset it, end up on this middle aged man's 15 year old dell laptop for forty minutes trying to figure out how to contact my friends while still fucked up, eventually a dude i partied with happened to walk past and i ran outside and got him to call dan, dan picks me up and we drive back home and eat pizza hut
Holy shit
Oh boy strap in for this one. So it's freshman year of college. I live in the dorms. I'm single and have next to no experience with girls/parties. It's Halloweekend (the weekend of Halloween so very many parties at SDSU). Unfortunately, I was not in a frat so I was not allowed in any frat parties, so I had to party in the dorm. Anyway. My roommate went to his gf football game (she was a cheerleader for a community college 30 minutes away) so I was just hanging out in my room with the door open to talk with anyone from my floor that wanted to hang. This girl from the floor below me (that I had just met a few days ago and showed off my baseball knowledge to in the study room) walks by my room and stops. She says hi and comes in and I'm talking with her. She has a bottle of cranberry juice and vodka and offers me some. Obviously, I accept. She says she has a full bottle of vodka in on her floor and she'll bring it up to party with me. A really attractive girl wants to hangout with me on Halloween while she is dressed up and wants to get me drunk? Hell yea! So she goes down to her floor and I wait for her to come back. But then about 20 minutes have gone by and she has not come back, leaving me to believe she had bailed :(. So I go across the hall to my friends room to drink and play super smash bros. About an hour or two goes by and I've had some shots just vibin on the floor. A few of the girls who went out to a party had come back and I was hanging out with them. Then the girl from the floor below came back with friends and was trashed. She was in our study lounge puking in the trash so I was in there taking care of her and helping her out. I was just rubbing her back and getting her water while holding her hair. There was a weird dude on our floor who was into her also trying to help but it was super weird and uncomfortable with him there because well as I said he was weird and creepy. After an hour, one of my other friends said Chase and Diego were letting people in their room (now these kids didn't talk much to anyone, except Chase. Me and him were boys). So I went over to their room to see what was poppin' because this was a moment of a lifetime. Chase was a little drunk but Diego was smashed and so was his gf. Total in the room it was me, Chase, Diego, his gf, a dude name Kayvon, and two other girls, Leah and Katie. I was just hanging out talking with everyone and then the three girls were talking about french kissing. Leah hadn't ever frenched so the other girls wanted to show her how. So they passed each other around like a bong just frenching it up. I was dumbfounded. This is what college is??? I'd seen videos but I didn't think they were real. Diego was getting super into his gf making out with these two other girls, kinda hyping them up. Once they had stopped frenching, Katie and Leah left the room. Diego started to get the spins and tried to lay down on his bed. Then he vomited on himself. Me, already experienced with vomit in the evening, tried to help him out and get him up and to the bathroom or at least the trashcan. I did what I could but then his gf was acting all crazy and yelling at me to get out of the room, so I did. I returned to the cute drunk girl on the couch, as I told her I would be gone for just a few minutes (it was really about 20-30). She was super excited to see me again. At that point, she asked me to watch the World Series with her, as the Mets and Royals were going to play Game 5 (I believe) on the Sunday (the next day). I told her of course I would and that I'd be watching in that very study lounge. After a little while longer, I told her she needed to go to bed so I walked her down to her room while the weird creepy dude followed us. I wasn't going to let him walk her to her room because frankly I didn't trust the dude. Got her to her room, said good night, and that was the end of that. I went back to my room and told my roommate and his gf about the eventful night I had. Jumping back to earlier in the story, cute girl said she had returned to my room about 30 minutes later but she couldn't get the vodka from her floor because some dudes had taken it. I had left my room at that point so she ended up going out to the party instead since I wasn't there. I did end up dating that girl for a decent amount of time, but that's for a different survey.
Ruairi remains the undisputed king of storytelling
was homeschooled for most of high school and didn't go to college. i'm not gonna get balls but at least be gentle with taking balls away
Rose you are a treasure, no ball loss for you
Frosh year. My roommates and I had a couple dorm floor mates who either only have weekday meal plans, or no meal plan at all. So we started casually stealing them some non-perishable goods to last them over the weekend. Through natural progression, this slowly turned into us creating an entire klepto organization that eventually fed most of our dorm house. We had a few tricks. One was bringing sports bags in with us - they would make you check backpacks at the door, but since sports bags might have expensive equipment, they let you take them in. So we'd just stuff them full of gallon bags of cereal, bagels, etc. Our dining hall had a patio area, where at night, you could see in from the outside, but not vice versa. We would load up our plates with one type of food, grab a gallon or two of milk, a tray of cookies, etc., saunter out to the patio, bag/pack everything up, and then toss it over the railing to our Outside Man down below, who would then take it back. At the end of the year, the dining hall had a program where you could return anything you "walked off accidentally" with with no repercussions, so we went to collect and tally any cups/bowls/plates/silverware we'd liberated, and found ourselves with two full boxes of stuff. Fearing *some* sort of repercussions from the sheer volume of stuff, we waited until the DH was closed one night, climbed over the railing, and left the boxes on a patio table.
This is amazing
I jumped out the window of the classroom once just to prove to a friend how oblivious our teacher was. I then walked in through the front door, greeted said oblivious teacher, and sat back down at my desk. She was very confused.
+3 Ruairi, +2 Cory, +1 Jiggy
-3 Dylan, -2 Iama, -1 Bnavis
Question 3: Favorite Vacation You Took
does the scotland one kinda count as a vacation? if so, that one, if not, fuck idk I've only ever been to Vegas or Mexico on vacations so imma go with one of the 14 times I went to Mexico
I would love to go to Mexico
Winter 2010, we went to a resort in Turks & Caicos. Joe Girardi was there too. He and my mom are best friends now.
Pics or it didnt happen
lake house in new hampshire with all my cousins, just waterskiing, swimming, and hanging out by the water every day for a week
That sounds fantastic
italy, rome's cool as fuck
Another high effort answer from Bnavis.
when my sister lived in vancouver i flew there and then we drove from vancouver to tijuana together and camped on beaches and shit
I've always wanted to camp out on a beach, that sounds dope
Well, since my brother and I played baseball year round from elementary school through high school, we didn't take many/any vacations. So I will have to say the only real vacation I've taken is my trip to Texas a few weeks ago. It was amazing getting to see my best friend with our other best friend. Shot real guns for the first time. Went to the beach a couple of times and the water was so warm, it was amazing. Had Texas BBQ and it was to die for. It was super cool being in a somewhat small town since I've grown up in San Diego/Temecula for my whole life and haven't lived in a farm-like town. It was a super cool experience and I would easily risk getting coronavirus to do it again.
Thats pretty dope, small towns are always fun to go to
my favorite 'vacation' ever was actually recent. i dogsit for my sister sometimes when she goes somewhere and get to spend a week or so getting paid to relax at her apartment in san francisco with her dog and drinking and eating good food. it's nice because it's not touristy, i'm not staying at a hotel or anything, it's more like dipping my toes into living in a big city for a week or two and then getting to return to my normal life afterwards. my 'favorite vacation' was when i was there for over a week last year just chilling with no responsibilities other than taking care of her dog
The best vacations are the ones where you do absolutely nothing
New Zealand, September 2019. Gorgeous land all-around, really good (and cheap) beer, fun time exploring with friends, Lord of the Rings shit everywhere, good beer, very nice populace.
Thats dope, New Zealand is on my must visit list
All my friends and I rented a house in Hatteras in the Outer Banks a few years ago. Massive house, right on the water, perfect water. Took a lot of acid, listened to Miles Davis' Bitches Brew while the mosquitoes ate my body apart while the sun went down.
Thats pretty dope
Backpacking around Europe for a month with my buddies when I was 17. We visited 8 countries, sleeping in hostels and trains.
That is the dream, glad you got to live it
+3 Ruairi, +2 Rose, +1 Bgro
-3 Bnavis, -2 Pole, -1 Wharble
Question 4: You are now Commissioner of MLB, what changes do you make? (For time constraints I am going to post the top 3 answer and bottom 3 answers as many of these are similar)
negotiate things with the unions to make sure i can do the following fire rob manfred from any position he may hold (also joe west, cb bucknor, angel hernandez, and laz diaz) fix the minor league wage system so players make a living wage; also adjust the prearb/arb/fa system for better fairness abolish the dh and/or maintain the al/nl system abolish bad extra inning rules and/or robot umps, if they have been implemented bring back the bullpen car more doubleheaders bring back disco demolition night
Love all of these except getting rid of the DH
very slowly turn baseball into blurnsball from futurama
  1. no interleague 2. no divisions, just leagues 3. 12 games against each league opponent, 168 game schedule (until expansion, see 9; after expansion this will become 165 games, 15 against each league opponent) 4. al dh, no dh in nl 5. top 3 make playoffs in each league, 1 gets a bye. 2v3 in a best of 7, winner vs 1 in a best of 9, best of 11 world series (i realize it's not fun viewing but it gets the best result) 6. fines for anyone who tries to institute unwritten rules or whatever the fuck, promote the shit out of guys like tatis/tim anderson that make the game fun 7. no baserunner on 2nd rule 8. legalize steroids 9. expand to 38 teams, play one season. bottom 7 in each league go down to make a 24 team mlb and a 14 team mlb2, following this, use the english promotion/relegation system but with 4 from each league now. so effectively, bottom 4 in the al automatically go down, top 3 from al-mlb2 automatically come up and then a playoff of 4v7 and 3v6 from mlb2's al (best of 3 round 1, best of 5 round 2) to determine the fourth team that rejoins the majors. 10. create a more fun environment at the game. music throughout the game, including during play, also every team has a small waterpark at the ballpark 11. encourage players to have cool cleats why is trevor bauer the only one taking advantage of this 12. go back to pre-2017 balls
Jiggy gets it
make the wild card a 3 game series played in 2 days (games 1 and 2 as a double header,) expand to 32 teams (portland and montreal/charlotte/nashville,) universal DH (i don't mind both leagues having different rules but universal DH is probably the pandemic induced rule that makes the most sense to keep,) execute Alex Bregman on live TV, don't kill the minor leagues, don't do any other dumb bullshit, sit back and watch the money stack
Yes absolutely bring back the Expos, fuck Ass Bergman
pay the minor leaguers, institute a salary floor, institute something resembling a RFA system instead of arb, ban Rob Manfred from baseball idk I'm tired
Go back to bed bud
Overhaul the free agency system to disincentivize service time manipulation. Add a salary floor for teams.
+3 Jiggy, +2 Rose, +1 Iama
-3 Bnavis, -2 Pole, -1 Wharble
Question 5: You have been signed by the WWE! Congratulations! What is your In Ring Name, Gimmick, and Finisher
Thiccums, whatever vince gives me, and either the spear or the clothesline from hell
Show some creativity and own your own gimmick. Jobber status for you
I am The Ogre. I come out in full Shrek cosplay. My finisher is the GET OUT OF MY SWAMP.
Wrath-Hog Bounty Hunter Bearhug Life Force Squeezer
So do you hunt other wrestlers? Are you a hunter for an authority figure? As of now you are a Jobber
just give me minus points for this
Chicken Bryan Kane's little brother, thus making me the Undertaker's grandson The Carraba's Crusher - honestly it'd just be ember moon's eclipse bc it's the coolest shit
Only issue, Kane is already Undertakers brother so you would also be Undertakers brother. That said maybe we can bring Taker out of retirement for a one off with you
Ring Name: The Notorious Ruairious. Gimmick: I am a Northern Irishman who uses a wicked head butt to stun and knock out opponents. I have swagger, but am very humble. I throw off my opponents by complimenting their bodies rather than trash talking them. Finisher: I get the opponent on the ground and do a jig over them, as my kicks knock them unconscious.
This is a dope gimmick, would likely book you to face Sheamus for 3 months before going for the WWE Title.
Ring name is Anne Phibian, my finisher is a Frog Splash and my gimmick is that i am extremely into frogs and i brutally beat down opponents and share Frog Facts with the audience on the mic while they are incapacitated
Instant top heel in the Women's division. Would book you to face Charlotte Flair at Wrestlemania for the Women's Title.
The Mortician (Cory *Graves*). My gimmick would be crawling my up through the bottom of the ring to start each match. We would then have to wait for the mat to be repaired before beginning the match. Finisher: The Scalpel - I run back and forth between the ropes a few times, gaining momentum, eventually bouncing off, going into a horizontal pencil dive motion, and kicking my opponent square in the chest.
I can see some good feuds between you and The Fiend Bray Wyatt. Could be a good wrestlemania match.
Bitch, I'm Big Pepsi I'm sponsored by Pepsi Co. to deliver the sweet taste of Pepsi products to the world, BY FORCE The Baja Blaster - I yeet a full cup of MTN DEW Baja Blast (tm) into my opponent's eyes before hitting them with a shoryuken from street fighter
I dig it. Will book you as a main eventer before having you job to Roman Reigns and then banish you to the midcard forever
My ring name is "El Ratoncito Miguel" which translates to "The Little Rat, Miguel". My gimmick is that I always pretend I'm not actually there to fight, I'm just lost and looking for directions. I insist way beyond a humorous amount of time that I'm really not a wrestler and you must have me mistaken and how do you get to Union Street. Then, when everyone's going home and the lights are turned off, that's when I attack. My finisher is called Open-Face Slap, where I run to one side of the ring and then charge full speed at you and open face slap you.
Instant Top Chicken Shit Heel. You can win the WWE Title on a fluke before losing it at Mania to someone like Daniel Bryan
+3 Bgro, +2 Ruairi, +1 Rose
-3 Bnavis, -2 Wharble, -1 Iama
Question 6: Here have a ball
+1 to everyone who said thank you
No balls to everyone who said ok
No one told me to go fuck myself so no one loses a ball
Question 7: One of these has to go what do you get rid of.
+1 Balls to everyone for correctly choosing a seafood based item
Question 8: Penguins are...
+1 Ball to everyone who said Badass
No Balls for those who said "they aight"
No one loses a ball
Question 9: Society has completely collapsed, what do you do to survive.
bold of you to assume I'd make it out of a societal collapse
Wonderful spirit Wharble
Hoard some precious resource so I can trade it for other things that I need.
the world is my oyster
But what are you doing to survive
kill myself, i'm not a fool. i wouldn't survive a day in the wild
Just excellent effort from Bnavis
honestly i wish i had a nice plan for you but i know i wouldn't make it. just hangout with my gf for as long as possible and do enough mdma to forget about our impending doom
I have a co-worker who has a full survival shelter with many guns. I go to him to survive.
Good move
i don't believe in my ability to survive alone in an apocalyptic scenario so i would determine if i'm reasonably close to a costco. if i think i'm close enough i believe a society of about 200-300 people could survive in a barricaded costco for several months at least without issue, and i will try to get a footing there. if i can't make it to something like that i will seek out the strongest most prepared looking person in my neighborhood and pray they show mercy.
Good to have a plan
Hoard gasoline and water (a la The Immortan Joe from Mad Max: Fury Road). If that doesn't work out, I would travel from settlement to settlement, bard-style, recanting happenings from neighboring settlements and regaling folks with song.
That man making the best of a bad situation
Go to the basement of the newspaper office downtown. Literally nobody ever goes there, and there's no easy way down there without a pass. Also has a showeshittespace. Also has a secret tunnel to the building across the street if I need to bail.
Not bad
Now that society has collapsed, I work as a software developer to survive.
In a post-apocalyptic society I dont think we will need software
+3 Cory, +2 Rose, +1 Dylan
-3 Bnavis, -2 Wharble, -1 Iama

Question 10: This question comes from my wife: What should I make for dinner upon the completion of survey results
Everyone gets a ball for leaving some awesome recipes.
Question 11: What is your happiest memory?
that's an incredibly personal question that I will not answer because it will make me emotional!
that one time i homered in little league
Was it a moon shot?
watching the 09 world series win with my dad
That was an amazing year
being held by someone who loves me dearly
honestly last new years me and gf and a few friends went to a rave and got drunk/did a fuckton of ecstasy and danced our asses off then went to this little hidden rooftop in downtown saskatoon that i stashed a few bottles of tequila and some cigarettes on and danced and smoke and drank up there and yelled at strangers on the street until like 4 then got an uber home, passed out, and then made a fuckpile of waffles and watched horror movies in the basement all new years day it was so fucking fun
Thats fucking awesome
Oh man this is a tough one. There are two that stand out in my mind, but I'm not sure which one to go with. I will tell another story about the cute girl I mentioned earlier in this survey. So this was a few months later (4 or 5). We started dating shortly after that Halloween night for the record. We spent pretty much everyday together since we lived just a floor apart and quickly became best friends. Anyway, it was a few months later and we were in her room. It was a Friday and I didn't have class until 1 on Fridays. We were making out on her bed and at one point she stopped and just looked at me. She started crying and I was confused so I asked her what was wrong. Through a cracked voice she says "I love you." It was the first time anyone had ever told me they loved me in that way and I had been thinking about telling her that I felt the same way leading up to this day but was too scared to. When she said it, I was then able to say it, which surprised her because I wasn't a very open person back then. It's one of the best feelings to have someone you love tell you that they love you back. And even though we aren't together anymore, the memory is still a good one for me, because it reminds me that I can be loved and I can feel love for someone, even in times when those things don't seem possible.
This brought a tear to my eye my dude
it feels slightly underwhelming to call it my happiest memory because it didn't last in the end but i think the most undeniably happy thing i can think of is entering my first real romantic relationship as a teenager. a lot of that time of my life i was fighting with depression and a genuine and significant romantic relationship was a realization that i could be deserving of love from other people and that i could connect and relate to another person in ways i was afraid i wasn't capable of.
This fucking hit me hard because I've been there
Camping with my brother and parents. Usually our trips involve some amount of shouting and fighting, even the really good ones. But this trip, we just spent three wonderful days in the wilderness, enjoying nature, eating good campfire foods, laughing and playing board games. Some catchphrases were spawned while playing those games that my family still quotes to this day.
That's awesome, I'd give anything to have that kind of time with my family again
I went to a concert with a friend of mine that had just left the company we had worked for. She was in a relationship but she asked me to go with her because she had an extra ticket. It was a great time, really fun, great vibes. Didn't realize at the time that would be the person I'd be living with about 3-4 years later. Don't know if it's my happiest memory but it makes me really happy, know what I mean?
Thats awesome dude
Either various moments on my solo bike trip across the country where I just felt total tranquility and satisfaction near the end of my trip OR this one time when my first nephew was like one and I was his favorite person and I took him out for a walk. He was distracted and I walked a little ahead of him and when he turned and noticed me a little further away, we made eye contact, he grinned a wide smile and then ran to me arms wide open for a hug. Kids do that kind of stuff all the time to people they know and trust but I've never felt such pure unadulterated love as I have from that kid in that moment. There is no artifice or conditionality in that sort of love. It felt good to be the cause of that someone else's sheer joy and seeing his face light up when he saw me, thats a memory that always brings me happiness.
No one loses a ball for this round
+3 Rose, +2 Bgro, +1 Ruairi

Ok lets tally up the results......
Lottery will be done and posted with out first round. Thank you for your time you wonderful people
submitted by Pjd7510 to groupselect2k18 [link] [comments]

2020.09.17 20:49 Themascura Snow Angels are illegal where I live.

My town is in one of the north western states- which, if you know anything about the north east, means snow like... six months out of the year. To make things worse, my town is approximately in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. We deal with it about as well as every other tiny north western town, which...

Well, all you need to know is that there's a town up here that is literally based around a prison. That's it. That's the whole point of the town. Pretty much just to house the people who work there.

It's pretty dismal sometimes.

So you'd think, given the lack of other things to do, they'd embrace all the types of winter entertainment. And you wouldn't be wrong! Snowmen are an art form in my town. Ice sculptures get pretty competitive. Taboganing and sledding are Big. Deals.

But snow angels are illegal.

In fact, I didn't even know they were a thing until I saw someone doing it in a film one time. I was over at a friend's house, and they had an older cousin visiting from out of town. She'd brought the tape with her- it was one of her favorites. She thought we'd love it. She saw Harry and I staring at the t.v. in confusion and laughed at us.

"What, you've never seen a SNOW ANGEL?" She asked us mockingly. I don't think it was malicious. I think she was just teasing the way some people do. You know the whole 'kids these days' trope that every generation thinks they invented. We both shook our heads and she climbed to her feet, gesturing for us to follow her while she suited up to go outside. She got as far as falling on her back in the yard- us following her like ducklings- before my friend's dad came running out of the garage yelling at the top of his lungs.

I'd never heard Harry's dad yell like that before. Ever. And I've never heard him raise his voice since. Scared the beejesus out of all of us, including Harry's cousin. He sent Harry and I inside and I didn't hear what he said to her, but she was as white as a sheet by the time he was done. They came back in afterwards and Harry's dad called mine to come pick me up.

Harry's cousin never came to visit again, but I never forgot. I knew there was something wrong with making a snow angel, I just never knew WHAT.

Harry and I never discussed it. We went back to sledding and snow forts and never said a word. We both knew that something big had just happened, but neither of us were old or mature enough to really take any meaning from it.

Nearly a decade passed before we thought of it again.

Harry and I were both pretty average looking kids. Neither of us had a whole lot going on to give us any kind of social edge, so dating in our very small high school- where the boys out populated the girls by something like seventy five percent- was pretty much a crap shoot, and neither of us was interested in the male half of the population.

So when Harry formed a crush on Melissa, we both kind of knew it was doomed. I was his best friend, though! It was my job to be supportive- so I didn't say anything. Like. At all. I didn't know the first thing about being a wing man, but I did hesitantly suggest that Harry might get Melissa's attention by doing something 'cool'. Which, in teenage boy, translates to stupid and/or dangerous.

Unfortunately, Harry took that advice to heart.

God how I wish I could take those words back now.

It was late-October and it was already snowing pretty regularly. Nothing bad yet, but more than just a light dusting. Halloween fell on a Wednesday that year, so the weekend before a few of us got together for a kind of preemptive party. We'd basically turned it into an excuse to party the whole week. We were out at Harry's new house- his dad had recently built a really nice new place outside of town. It was kind of isolated, but it also had a hot tub, so.

And anyway, the isolation worked in our favor. Nobody was liable to file a noise complaint or a curfew violation on us way out here.

The irony is, Harry's dad had actually given us permission to have a little get together as long as we promised to be responsible. I guess it was because Harry was kind of going through a hard time, what with his mom having left and all.

It was a full moon that night. It wasn't snowing, but it had that morning. There was still a pretty thick carpet of it all across the lawn. There were eight of us. Four boys, four girls. Harry and myself, Melissa, her best friend Joan, her little sister Nicole, and their boyfriends, Travis, Hunter and Chad. Melissa and Nicole were in the hot tub with Chad and Travis, while Joan and Hunter and Harry and I were playing pong on the deck.

Harry and I were losing. Pretty badly, actually. Travis was mocking us from the hot tub, his arm around Melissa.

"Nice shot, asshole." He commented after one of Harry's swings had gone wild. The ball tapped impatiently across the deck, careening off into the snow beyond. Harry made an impatient sound. I could tell Travis' comments were starting to get under his skin. His jaw was clenched and I could visibly see him holding back his temper as he marched down the steps to collect the ball.

"Come on." I hissed at Travis under my breath, "Quit being a douche-"

Travis opened his mouth, most likely to say something nasty, but before he could get the words out I heard Harry call out-

"Hey Melissa, want to see something cool?"

We all turned expectantly just in time to see Harry pitch backwards into the snow with his arms splayed out.

"Oh yeah, real cool, turd money." Travis jeered, "You fell down! Way to go. I bet your mom is real proud."

"What did you just say?" Harry stopped mid-snow angel. We all kind of fell silent for a second. Even Melissa looked shocked. She pushed Travis' arm away and scooted to the other side of the tub, giving him a look of disgust.

"Too far, Travis." She muttered. Maybe he knew it too. I'd like to think he was going to apologize, but Harry was already getting up and Melissa was leaning out of the tub- trying to change the subject, maybe- and asking Harry what he'd done and then we all heard it. None of us seemed to know what it was at first. It was... hard to recognize. A short, sharp sound as if someone had just been socked in the gut.

You know that sound you make when you've gotten the breath knocked out of you? It was like that.

"It's a snow angel." I said into the silence afterwards, trying to tell myself that it was just one of those weird sounds that came out of the woods sometimes.

"Oh." Melissa furrowed her brow.

"Hey, I think I've heard of those." Hunter put in, "One of the kids from Moore got arrested for making one in town square after the game. His parents had to come pick him up."

"Let's google it! Inside-" I was quick to suggest, but then the second sob interrupted me before I could get further than a few steps toward the house.

"What was that?" Joan asked. Harry finished climbing to his feet and stooped to pick up the ping pong ball.

I didn't hear whatever Harry's response was. I was too busy looking. Frozen in place. Riveted by the sight of the single, pale hand draped across the edge of the snow angel's 'wing'. This time we all heard the wail. And knew exactly what it was. The identical looks of confusion and fear that flickered across all of our faces gave it away.

"What the fuck?" Travis said.

"Oh my god!" Joan shrieked.

"Harry!" I yelped. I don't have any conscious memory of crossing the deck. I blinked and suddenly I was there, leaning over the railing and grabbing him by the shirt. Hauling him away from the snow and toward the steps. Meanwhile, an ethereal vision was rising out of the snow angel as if it were rising on a pedestal. Blonde hair coated in frost. Pale skin mottled with blackened spots. Blue lips bowed back in a grimace of misery.

She was wearing a gray robe. It crackled brittlely as she climbed from her knees to her feet.

"What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck-" Travis was wheezing a new mantra somewhere behind us.

"GET IN THE HOUSE." Someone else yelled. I held Harry's arms, helping him climb over the railing. We raced into the house hand in hand, a frenzy of splashing and screaming going on around us. I sprinted as far as the couch. Before Harry dropped my hand and went back to lock the glass door. Nicole and Joan huddled against the far wall, sobbing softly. Melissa ran to the kitchen. Travis hovered near the window, staring in shock.

"The fuck is that?" He squealed. I wanted to cover my eyes, but I couldn't help but look. I was drawn to that face. The look of terror and pain on it. I could still hear the sobbing through the glass as it tottered unsteadily to the steps and began to drag itself up onto the deck. It- she- moved so wrong. So stiffly!

"Oh god." Harry muttered beside me. I managed to glance at him, only to see him looking back at the snow. Not the THING, but the place it had come from.

There was another hand edging out of the snow angel. This one wrinkled and shriveled.

"We have to get out of here," Melissa came out of the kitchen carrying a kitchen knife, "We have to get back to town and call the police." Harry's place was brand new. The landlines hadn't been hooked up yet.

"Yeah." I agreed.

"Just one problem." Harry put in, lifting a hand and singling out the keys and phones sitting out beside the hot tub. Travis' keys. Joan's and Nicole's too. We all shared a look, because that only left two cars. My beaten up suburban, which barely had heat- not normally a HUGE problem, since I was typically DRESSED while inside it, but given that half the party was still soaked from the hot tub and wearing only their bathing suits...

And Melissa's coupe. Which would barely fit four people, even if they sat on each other's laps.

"Fuck." Hunter yelled.

"I don't think we have a choice." I ran my fingers through my hair, "Just grab some coats and blankets and let's go. Hypothermia has to be better than whatever is going to happen when she-"

"They." Harry interrupted quietly.

I didn't bother to respond to that. I just dug my keys out of my jacket and headed to the door. I heard the others scrambling to grab what they could and following.

As soon as I was out the door I heard the howling. Not like wolves- like people. More than one, just... screaming. I sprinted down the driveway, half aware that I ought to have waited. I ought to have given the others more time to get ready, but some part of me just knew that every second we wasted was a step closer to death- and I wasn't kidding when I said our chances were probably better for recovering from hypothermia.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Melissa and Travis make it to her car, Nicole right behind them. Chad, Hunter, Harry and Joan were hot on my heels. I didn't have to bother to unlock the doors. My suburban predated electronic locks, and the town was so small that normally I didn't bother locking them all individually. We scrambled in so hard that it rocked. The old shocks squealed and squeaked in protest. I dove into the driver's seat and slammed my key into the ignition, ignoring the seat belt and everything else while the others dragged themselves in and hauled the doors shut behind them.

I didn't do a head count before peeling out. That came back to me later. It was a miracle no one got left behind. If they had it would have been my fault.

I still feel guilty about that.

I saw them coming around the corner of the house in the rear view mirror. Not my friends, but the corpses. I was full on panicking. Each heartbeat felt like a punch to the ribs. My breath felt like razor blades. I was so, so sure that I was going to puke as swung onto the highway- already doing eighty before we'd done a half mile. Joan was still sobbing in the back seat- Hunter was crying too. I think I would have joined them if I hadn't been too busy shaking.

"Does anyone have a phone?" Chad asked. It was a great idea- I glanced at him in the rear view mirror and saw him covered in the old blanket I kept in the truck bed. His hair was trying to frost. He had a cellphone in his palm. I started to ask what was wrong with it when Joan chimed in-

"Yeah, but no bars."

"I'm going straight to the police station." I said. Being that I was the one driving, nobody else had much say in it.

"What if they don't believe us?" Joan whispered.

"They're going to." Harry said woodenly, staring straight ahead, "They made them illegal for a reason."

"Why didn't they TELL US?" Hunter demanded. Nobody answered. I guess nobody had an answer.

It was a tense, long period of silence- during which I checked the rear view mirror a dozen times. Not just checking for weird, frozen zombies, but for headlights.

Where was Melissa's car? My old Suburban couldn't have been that much faster.

My palms were sweating and prickling on the steering wheel. I tried not to think about it- or draw attention to it- the last fifteen minutes into town. Part of me was HOPING to get pulled over by a cop, but as was typical, there was never one around when I wanted one to be.

I kept looking for them, even as we barreled into town and into the safety of the slushy gray parking lot of the sheriff's department. I nearly drove right through the front doors. The whole car lurched from the force of that stop, but I hadn't even slammed it into park before the others were scrambling out the doors and pouring into the station like a biblical flood of half-frozen, half-dressed teenagers.

Everyone was talking at once. I was the last in- keeping one eye on the window and the road while the others babbled at Olly, the receptionist. He was a nice old man in his fifties, at least, and I could tell he understood about zero of what was being said. Until Harry stepped forward and put his hands on the desk, anyway. Everyone else finally stopped talking.

"I made a snow angel." He stated. Calmly. Factually. If it weren't for how pale his face were and how tight his bloodless lips had become, I would have thought he WAS calm.

Olly's face fell. His chair clattered as it rolled back, allowing him to stand up.

"I'll go get the sheriff." I knew then that it was every bit as serious as we thought it was. We hadn't imagined any of it. It wasn't some case of... mass hysteria or something.

"There's something else." I added, pausing to look at the window- hoping to see Melissa's car pulling in at the last second. It never did.

"I haven't seen Melissa, Travis or Nicole since we left the house."

Olly's expression turned more grave, if that was possible. The Sheriff was Melissa and Nicole's father.

He turned and hustled to the back faster than I've ever actually seen him move before. There was a tense moment. A hushed exchange of words and rising voices, and then Sheriff Basket came striding down the hallway, bigger than life. He was a massive wall of a man, and all of us had always been a little intimidated by him. He'd never been mean, exactly. He was just stern. Quiet. Had a direct, down to earth way of dealing with things and usually that involved as few words as possible.

"How many where there." Case in point.

I didn't understand what he was asking, at first, but Harry got it straightaway.

"Two, but I think a third was climbing out when we left."

I watched Olly getting some emergency blankets and jumpsuits out of the back for the others. For Chad, anyway. Hunter, Joan, Harry and I were all more or less dressed. Olly passed me a blanket anyway. I mumbled a thank you.

"What did the first one look like?" The sheriff demanded.

"It was a woman!" Joan shouted. Her voice sounded reedy and thin. I thought maybe she was on the verge of hyperventilating.

"She had on this dress... thing." Chad added, more subdued, "And she was blonde, I think. It's hard to remember."

"She was pretty." Hunter whispered, sinking into his blanket and the wall at the same time, "She looked so sad."

The sheriff looked visibly relieved, but his face was still tight with stress and concern. He looked gray, actually. His skin, his hair, even his eyes. I didn't blame him. I was only a teenager myself at the time, but already I could sympathize- the terror he must have felt, knowing his kids were out there. In danger. Not knowing if he'd arrive in time, or what might have befallen them.

"It could be worse." He muttered to himself- I don't think we were meant to hear.

"You kids stay here. Olly, call their parents. You lot were at The Olsen place, right?" He pinned us with a severe look. I nodded. I'm pretty sure the others did too. I heard one or two meek 'yes sir's, "Your parents can explain when they get here." Those last few words were so clipped and bitten off that I could hear his teeth click on some of the syllables.

I, for one, wasn't about to argue. I wanted to see my mom and dad more than anything in the world in that moment. I was still young enough that for me they represented the epitome of safety. Nothing bad could happen to me when my parents were there, in my adolescent mind. They were still invulnerable giants. The axis upon which the world turned.

I watched in silence as he checked his revolver and then went to the munitions room and came back with a shotgun and a box of shells. He walked out into the night without even a nod in our direction. His eyes were already on the road. He looked to me like a man going to war. As if he weren't sure he was going to come back, and was prepared to accept that.

Resigned, but also determined.

"Come on, kids." Olly spread his arms and herded us all toward the back of the station, "Let's get you warmed up. If any of you have a working phone, now's the time to go ahead and call your parents- it'll be better coming from your number than the police station's. Those of you who don't- sorry." He joked and pointed an ominous finger at the payphone on the wall and the stack of quarters beside it.

He was a nice old man- had kind of a beardless santa vibe- but it was hard to ignore the tightness in his voice. And around his eyes.

Poor Olly. He had to be pushing sixty. He'd been working in the sheriff's department since I was a kid. Sometimes he came to help provide 'security' at events in town. He'd never been anything but cheerful and friendly. Seeing him so pale made me feel...


What we'd seen at Harry's house still hadn't completely sunk in yet. A part of me thought that I was going to wake up any second, and that it would all turn out to have been a bad dream. All around me the others were calling their parents. I heard phones ringing. A couple had already picked up. Voices were cracking. Muffled sobs and sniffles filled the open office space.

I looked aimlessly between desks for a little while, my brain not quite having caught up to the idea I should be doing what they were all doing. Eventually my gaze drifted to Harry, only to find him looking back. It struck me then that he didn't have anybody TO call. His mom was... well, he couldn't call her, and his dad was probably still on the plane.

Which meant he didn't have anybody but me.

"I guess we should call mom and dad." I tried to smile, fumbling my cell out of my pocket, "They'll be pissed if they're the last ones to know." Internally I cringed. Why had I said that? Especially after literally just thinking he couldn't call HIS dad?

Harry only nodded.

My mom picked up on the second ring. I called her first because I figured she'd be the least likely to yank my ass through the phone to chew me a new one. I needn't have bothered, it turned out.

"We're on our way." She said before I could even say hello, "Stay put." And then she hung up- but before she did I heard keys jingling in the background and the car starting up. Cellphones were notoriously unreliable in my town. A text could be sent and hang in limbo for a week before arriving at it's destination. Calls often just failed to connect.

I glanced down at the phone in my hand and up at Harry, running my fingers over the glossy screen.

"They're on their way." I reported. Harry just nodded again.

My house was only twenty minutes away from the station on a bad day. My parents made it in seven. I guess that's where I got my lead foot from.

Joan and Chad's parents made it first- but only by a few minutes. Both sets swarmed their respective offspring. There was a lot of scolding and fussing and anxious questions. I couldn't help but think they looked like pre-schoolers. Small and lost and wide-eyed despite their ages. Maybe it was because I was feeling like one myself. Just a small kid on a big playground.

Woefully out of my league.

And then my parents came rushing through the door. Mom's coat was barely on- unfastened and hanging off of her as she stormed in. Dad's boots were untied. They looked like they'd dropped everything and run to come get me, and I was so grateful for it. It was the most loved feeling I think a person could have. Dad rushed to me, but mom paused mid-step and diverted to Harry.

I wasn't jealous. I was weak-kneed with gratitude. Trust my parents- the ADULTS- to know how to make right the things I didn't have the tools to fix myself. I learned a lot about empathy and maturity that day, watching my mom fuss over Harry as if he was her own. He'd been my best friend since childhood. He'd practically grown up in our house, and I in his. My parents were the closest thing he had to his own in that moment. Maybe better, knowing his parents like I did.

She checked him over like the other parents were checking their kids. Hands and face, arms and neck.

"Thank god you're okay." Dad said, catching me up and squeezing me like I was nine again. I squeezed him right back, fighting tears.

"They didn't touch you? You're alright?" Mom was asking Harry. All he could do was nod, I assume. His eyes were suspiciously bright.

"It's okay," Mom said, giving him the same kind of hug dad was giving me just then, "It's going to be okay."

"Melissa and Nicole were in the other car." Chad half yelled. I know he was talking to his own parents, but all of them stopped and looked at one another- sharing the look of horror and tense gratitude. How awful, but thank god mine are alright.

"Olly said you'd explain when you got here." I wiped my eyes on the back of my sleeve and looked up at my father's face. His blue eyes were haunted and unhappy, but he nodded once.

"Yeah. I guess it's time. Normally we tell the graduating class after the ceremony..."

Mom looked up. They met eyes for a little while. I imagine they were searching for the words- for a good place to begin.

"Why didn't anyone explain BEFORE?" Joan demanded, "Why didn't anybody warn us?"

"Let's just- let's start with the most immediate problem." My dad suggested when no one else spoke up, "Tackle one thing at a time. First of all, what did the first thing through look like?" I don't know if it occurred to the others, but it struck me that this was the second time we'd been asked- and both times it had been the first question, after asking if we were okay.

"She was blonde, and pale. And wearing a weird dress. She looked like she was in pain." I supplied, anchored by the presence of my parents.

It seemed to me that every adult in the room heaved a little sigh of relief.

"That's good. I mean, it's not great, but it's better than it could be." Mom muttered, wandering over to the pile of blankets on the desk and absently gathering one. I watched her bring it over to Harry to drape around his shoulders, fussing with the way it hung until there were no wrinkles to smooth out anymore.

"We'll start with that, then." Dad took a deep breath, "We call her the Angel. That's what our grandparents called her. I assume that's what THEIR grandparents called her. Of all the harbingers, she's the least violent. She'll lead the people behind her to the nearest, most easily accessible source of heat. Once they're all thawed they'll... go away again." As dad explained I absently rubbed my chest- it hurt, like I'd pulled a muscle.

Harry looked up, expression going from numb and distracted to suddenly upset.

"Melissa's car. Amy's heat doesn't work, I- they must have-"

Dad looked grim, but nodded.

"It's possible. Especially if the doors to the house were locked. The good news is they won't have hurt the others unless they tried to stop them. The bad news is, if the car stops running or the heat quits, they'll go back to trying to get into the house."

Everyone took a minute to digest that.

"So... all they want is to get warm?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yeah." Dad nodded, "But only if the harbinger is the Angel."

"O-kay-" Chad looked up at his parents, "But what ARE they?"

"As far as we can tell," Chad's mom was the school nurse- a petite blonde lady with a 'Can I speak to your manager' haircut, but as sweet as could be- answered this time, "They were people. People who used to live here at some point. People who... died. In the cold."

"Then there can't be that many, right?" Joan suggested hopefully. It was a hope I didn't realize I shared until that moment. Surely one or two frozen zombies were a lot better than a horde, though.

"Dozens, at least forty." My own mother put in. She gave Harry a little squeeze and looked at me apologetically.

"I'm sorry honey. There's other's... but they don't all come at the same time, usually. It all depends on the harbinger, like we said. Usually it's no more than eight or nine at a time, but sometimes, when the shepherd comes through-"

"The who? The WHAT?" Travis cried, his voice warbling a high, awkward note that I thought he'd left behind in middle school.

"Harbingers are-" Dad rubbed his fingers together, obviously searching for the words, "They're like the leaders. Only one comes through at a time. They're the first out through the gate when it's open- when a snow angel is made. Some of them, like the Angel, are mostly harmless. Mostly. There's four that we know of. Four that we were told about. Her, the Shepherd, the Prophet, and the Hermit."

He walked away from me while he spoke, folding his hands behind his back and pacing over to the desk and from there to the window.

"The Angel comes with eight or nine others, who are mostly peaceful. They'll smash doors and windows if they have to, but so long as they're left alone and you don't attempt to harm them they're harmless. They'll find the nearest source of heat and stay there until they're all... warm... again."

I didn't want to think about that too hard. I hoped it was more... supernatural than it sounded, because the way he put it made me think of a bunch of warming corpses in a room, and that made my stomach churn.

"The Shepherd is one of the worst. They- he, we think- comes through with all of the followers. And he's not content with just them, either. He hunts down anyone he can find when he comes through and will drag them out into the cold to die and join his herd. He sends the others, too. If he ever gets through the only thing to do is start the siren and get to the bunkers around town, and then pray that the barricades last until dawn."

I started to shake just thinking about it. Imagining it was... it made me feel cold from the inside out. I shared a look with Harry, knowing he felt the same way. How close we'd all come to THAT. What he had to be feeling knowing that he'd almost let THAT through.

"Then there's the Prophet. She won't outright hurt you, but if she finds you she'll... it's hard to explain. She puts people to sleep, in a way. Mesmerizes them with a song- and when you're under, apparently you have visions. Of the past. Of things that happened in this town." Compared to the Shepherd that sounded like a fuckin' cakewalk.

"But you're there until she's done with you. Which could be hours. And wherever she catches you, which might be out in the cold, or in the shower, or-" He left the rest up to imagination, "Her followers put out lights. They pull down electric lines and will smash lamps."

Okay. That sounded less ideal, but still a whole lot better than the zombie-murder Woodstock.

"The Hermit is the worst, though." My dad looked at Hunter's parents and then Joan's, and finally sighed like he didn't want to be the one to say the words.

"They come alone, and unlike the others they won't vanish at daylight. They keep hunting, keep killing, following the people of the town no matter where they run until a sacrifice is made. Our parents thought that might have been where the new harbingers come from. Sacrifices to make the Hermit go away."

"That's horrible!" Joan gasped. I cringed too. It was awful to think about. Deliberately selecting someone you knew, someone who you LIVED with to go die. And then making that happen! Killing them in the worst way I could imagine.

How did you even begin?

"But it's just the Angel this time." Hunter said, his voice shaking.

"Yeah," My dad nodded, "She should be gone by morning."

So that was it, then. We just had to make it to morning, and then everything would be okay. Right?

It wasn't, though. In fact, I can confidently say that was the beginning of the end- the slow roll into the destruction of the town, and the majority of the people who lived there.

For a time it was quiet. A few of us managed to fall asleep, either in the padded benches of the holding cells or in the chairs lined up against the walls. I was still wide awake, watching the windows with Harry and clutching a cup of hot cocoa for warmth. The hands of the clock barely seemed to move, and then-

With a pop and a crackle, the dispatch radio came to life.

It was the sheriff. I didn't understand the codes he was using, but I got the gist of it pretty good from everything that was said between.

Multiple 123s, more units required. Send medical and the blasters.

After that it was a flurry of voices and sirens. Orders were being shouted. Sirens blared. Olly sat behind his desk and closed his eyes. His lips moved silently, tracing the words of some prayer. I reached for Harry's hand, but the look in his eye- he was practically on the moon. So far away I couldn't reach him.

We both knew that it was going to be bad.

We didn't know HOW bad until one of the other officers started talking.

"We've got two injured juveniles in route to the hospital. Clear the roads, provide escort where possible."

Only two?

"We've got eyes on them. Eight. Angel is missing, repeat, the Angel is missing. One victim unaccounted for. All units respond." It went on like that for a while. The noise woke up everyone who'd managed to fall asleep. One by one we gathered at the window, watching for the flashing lights as they sped like shooting stars down the main road toward our tiny, provincial hospital.

Wondering who was inside. And if they'd make it.

Eventually the noise from the radios died down to chatter back and forth between officers sweeping the woods. I gathered bits and pieces, but no more. Something about a set of bare footprints heading into the woods. Something else about a second, fresher set of tracks behind. Both vanished near the pond. The search went on, but nothing else important was said.

Eventually the first blush of dawn touch the sky. We watched it rise, Harry and I, side by side, as the first of the officers returned to the station- muddy and disheartened. The adults gathered in a huddle with them. I wasn't meant to overhear, but my ears had always been sharp. Like the radio, now in person, I caught snatches that were just enough to paint a picture.

'Travis and Nicole'

'Broken arm. Severe frostbite. Should recover.'

'Melissa. Missing. Old lake. Angel.'

They told the rest of us a barely edited version of events a few hours later. Travis and Nicole had been found outside Harry's place. Travis had a broken arm. Both he and Nicole had pretty bad frostbite and were suffering from hypothermia, but were expected to mostly recover.

Melissa was still missing. They thought the Angel's flock had mobbed the car while Nicole was still getting in. Melissa had gotten it started, but hadn't driven away immediately because her sister wasn't fully inside yet. Travis had taken the passenger seat, and Nicole couldn't get in past him, he was too big-

Well, the delay was enough for the heater to get started. The dead had converged on the heat, and when Travis tried to fight back they'd tossed him aside like an old newspaper.

Melissa must have run. She didn't know what we'd just been told. She probably thought they were being attacked. I mean, that's what I would have thought- did think. But in the end, I guess it doesn't really matter why she ran into the woods. They never did find her. We all went home, one by one. Harry's dad came home on the next plane, but, understandably, Harry didn't want to stay in that house anymore.

They moved away a couple of months later. Not long after Nicole and Travis finally got out of the hospital. Travis ended up losing the arm- the frostbite combined with the break made it impossible to save. They tried, but in the end there was nothing to be done. Nicole recovered physically alright. She lost a few toes and a finger, but the real damage was psychological. Losing her older sister like that... the way it all went down.

She was never the same.

The rest of us got together after graduation. The same 'party' where the town's secrets would originally have been explained to us. It turned out there were a few things we still hadn't been told.

"I just don't understand why anyone lives here at all," Joan was saying to Mr. Harkman, our former math teacher- for pretty much our entire lives. The town wasn't big enough that we really needed more than one or two. There were rarely more than thirty kids per grade. I was standing by myself under a pennant banner, watching the flecks of light from the disco ball swim around the floor.

She was going off to college next spring. So was I. I think we all were, except Nicole and Travis- and Hunter, I think. He'd decided to stay behind. Or maybe he couldn't afford college. I don't know, I never thought to ask.

"Most people do leave." Mr. Harkman sighed, "I think we all tried to escape at one point or another."

"Escape?" Chad, who'd been over in the corner beside Hunter and a couple of other kids from our grade, lifted his head to ask. By then the story of that night had spread to every kid in our tiny high school, regardless of grade. I can't help but think that was a good thing.

"Well why'd they come back, then?" Joan demanded heatedly in the same moment. Her face was flushed, her eyes glittering.

"Your parents didn't tell you?" Mr. Harkman looked surprised, and then just sad, "I'm sorry. I guess I can see why. The thing is, you can leave the town just fine- until you have kids. And then... the town pulls you back. Things happen. You lose your job, you have an accident, your plane or bus gets rerouted. You black out and wake up back here, in town, with your kid. It's inevitable. If you try to leave, you end up here again."

A hush fell over the room. I don't know if they were thinking the same thing I was, but my very first thought was-

I'm never having kids.

Poor Harry. If only anyone had told HIM.
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2020.09.17 18:53 makememakeyoumakeme 35 [M4F] - Illinois/US - Its the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (not really but mostly fine!)! Looking for awesome connections and potential romance to explore further P.C (post Corona)!

Now that the song is stuck in both my head and yours, hi! Welcome, pull up a seat, make yourself comfortable (6 feet apart!).
I'm an ENM/Polyamorous he/him fella looking to form (ideally) long term intimate connections, full of vulnerability, laughter, support and great times. I thrive on making someone laugh and feel cared for and loved and supported (as well as have all that reciprocated, of course!) and hoping to meet someone (or someones!) that vibes with me in that regard.
A bit about me? Sure! Why not? As I stated, 35 years old, identify as he/him, partnered with a lovely gal (we date separately, not looking for triads or unicorns) and the polyamorous dynamic we strive for is kitchen table/non-hierarchical. She is my nesting partner, which comes with all that is entailed but I don't like the concept of primaries/secondaries etc so that is not a dynamic I'd ever be interested in.
I'm socially liberal as fuck (voted Bernie, socialist democrat to the bones), a giant fucking dork (comic books, D&D, card games, board games, video games), dabble in anime, love me a great sci-fi/fantasy story/movie/game and love to watch shows and go out to movies (ah, I can't wait to do that again). None of these hobbies/interests are required in someone, of course, but I do hope you share similar political opinions and thoughts.
Pre corona, I loved to travel and am looking forward to doing so again. I have plans to visit New Zealand, Greenland and a whole lot more, including visiting various states in the U.S and hitting up great B&Bs.
I'm sex and body positive, GGG, kink friendly and always up to discuss social, gender and racial issues.
Physically, I'm 5'11, bespectacled, brown skinned, chubby/dad bod and bearded. I'm more than willing to exchange pictures as well.
I'd love to hear from you if you made it this far! Good luck out there and please, stay safe.
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2020.09.17 17:24 IndieheadsAOTY Album of the Year 2014 #17: TV Girl - French Exit

Album of the Year 2014 #17: TV Girl - French Exit
Howdy y'all! Welcome back to Album of the Year 2014, our September writing series where we look back at some of our sub's favorite albums from the year of our foundation! (Not ranked, all pitched by our sub's users!) Today we have u/mko0987 discussing TV Girl's French Exit!

June 5th, 2014 - Self-Released
Formed in the halcyon wake of the chillwave summer of ‘09, TV Girl started as a collaboration between San Diego sk8r bois and high school friends Trung Ngo and Brad Petering. Despite initial modest expectations, things really hit the ground running when their Todd Rundgren-sampling track “If You Want It” got a writeup on Pitchfork’s Forkcast column, which led to a brief whirlwind of attention culminating in Rhino Entertainment wiping the track from the internet with a copyright takedown notice.
Several EPs, a 7” pressing, a SXSW appearance, and a move to LA later, the group released their first full-length mixtape - The Wild, The Innocent, The TV Shuffle, a rough-around the edges, shimmering record full of saccharine retro pop samples, Trung’s dazed out vocals, and a vibrant hip-hop flair. This ended up being the last project involving Trung, as he stepped away from the band leaving Petering to continue the project as a solo effort - and eventually a three piece with the addition of Jason Wyman and Wyatt Harmon for live touring support. Their Lonely Women EP piloted out this sound and lineup, with Petering taking over vocal duties and polishing up the production.
If Lonely Women was the warm-up round, French Exit was the real deal, arriving in 2014 with a “debut record” billing and a refined pop sound that brought more buzz to the project than ever before. Suddenly, seemingly overnight, TV Girl became “America’s favorite indie band” - if their social media is to be believed - and the rest is history.
Review (by u/mko0987)
Have you ever fallen in love? Chances are the answer is no, according to the Gen-X Balloon Guy on twitter. But even if you’re somehow under the perception that crushes aren’t real, emotions aren’t real, our eyes aren’t real, etc, you’ve probably had feelings for someone at some point in your brief confusing life. Maybe those feelings were reciprocated, or they weren’t and you stayed friends, or you had a great run that ended amicably, or a partner was hurt or betrayed. Or maybe you’re still together in spite of it all, living your best life (bless your hearts).
In the throes of all these lovelorn scenarios resides the thematic world of TV Girl’s French Exit, a thrilling yet fully “vibed-out” and “chill-ass” record of sample-heavy indie pop tunes. It’s a perfect record for riding your bike to a friend’s house on a sunny fall day, which is exactly the scenario in which I fell in love with it back in 2014. And yeah folks, this record is all about love. Even though in high school I had a head-ass contrarian aversion to love songs (therefore writing off about 70-80% of recorded music), fortunately that was a short lived phase. The tunes on this record serve as testament to the fact that love songs come in many shades and can ultimately be about a lot of different things.
The opening track “Pantyhose” serves as a good example of this. Taking inspiration from a chapter of Tim O’Brien’s The Things They Carried, the song depicts the story of a soldier using his back-home sweetheart’s garment as a good luck charm. Even though she’s moved on - the last chorus revealing that he’s been sent a Dear John letter - he maintains the superstition and is protected from bullets, mines, and heartbreak. This preoccupation with the artifacts of relationships, and the various significance we ascribe to them, is something that comes up often in TV Girl lyrics. As does the notion of unrequited love - which is especially prominent in the song “Hate Yourself”:
”And how long will it take?
Before you start to hate yourself
And go straight to the arms of someone else
And I'll just wait
'Till those arms belong to me and I'm not
Saying that you love me, I'm not saying anything”
Now before we really get into this - I’m aware that as of late there’s been a bit of a critical re-evaluation of TV Girl’s lyrics. I can see where it’s coming from. Frontman Brad Petering can come off quite bitter and asshole-ish in some of his more acerbic lyrics, or hedge close to the “nice guys finish last” victimhood trope in some of the more lovelorn ones. While I can confidently say that 82.6% of TV Girl’s fans are not incels, I can see how viewing the lyrics through that particular lens might sour listeners to the project. It’s 2020 and people understandably have a low tolerance for hearing about white hetero male woes anyway.
Petering’s been forthcoming about taking cues from the blunt honesty of Bob Dylan’s meaner, pettier tracks. “The Getaway” contains references to “Lilly, Rosemary, and the Jack of Hearts” to make that connection all the more overt. That Dylan-esque lens of personal stories and petty confessions are likely more along the lines of what he’s going for when he brings the snark, rather than some kind of overarching vendetta. Even the chorus of “Birds Don’t Sing”:
“Birds don’t sing, they just fall from the sky.
Girls don’t call and they never tell you why
that’s just how they say goodbye”
reads more as bemoaning a personal experience with ghosting than the sweeping generalization it could be perceived as at face value. He even dishes it back to himself in the same song with the line (spoken by his ex-lover):
“I think that all you ever really ever wanted was a reason to complain
That never stopped you before, don’t let it get in your way”
I’m not saying the man’s a saint, but I’d argue that these tunes are mostly just trying to be frank and humorous about the more ugly, selfish emotions that can crop up in the turmoil of relationships. Notions that I imagine are somewhat relatable to most people.
Even when the record is taking digs or lamenting lost love it still often conveys the warm minutiae of caring about someone else. Album closer “Anjela” has a soft spot for the titular character’s uncertainty, as she buries her head in her pillow and the narrator claims in obvious denial that he “didn’t like her anyway”. “Lovers Rock” depicts a vignette of two friends and would-be lovers sharing a kiss while listening to records. Even when feelings are getting hurt and things are going sour, the album still leaves the impression that navigating those choppy waters is worth it for those subtle affectionate moments with someone you care about. The bright instrumentation and Petering’s bemused, deadpan vocal delivery absolutely contribute to this impression. Even the more bitter lyrics on the record come across as playfully sardonic in the context of breezy instrumentation and sing-songy melodies.
So yeah, let’s dig into the music a bit. The rough formula goes something like this: mine 40s-70s pop records for sugary samples, layer in skittering hip-hop drum loops, throw in some old movie & radio vocal clips, and pass it all through dreamy filters. The result puts us somewhere at the crossroads between chillwave and The Avalanches-style plunderphonics. Jagged, chopped up drum loops and basslines bring an energetic, throwback hip-hop sound into the fold that recalls the bouncier tunes of groups like The Pharcyde and Souls of Mischief. “Daughter of a Cop” in particular has such a classic hip-hop energy going on, with that thumping “I’ll Take You There” bassline. The stuttering, flanged-out ride cymbals in “The Getaway” are a big highlight as well, essentially serving as the song’s hook. The whole vibe basically makes me really want to play Tony Hawk Pro Skater - I’ll chalk that up as a win for TV Girl’s skater cred.
More synth-heavy tunes like “Pantyhose”, “The Blonde”, and “Come When You Call” lean into the chillwave side of things, with reverb-drenched seventh chords and echoing percussion that are reminiscent of bedroom acts like Millionyoung and Planetarian. The vocals certainly take some cues from chillwave - though the Beach Boys harmonizing frequently encountered in that genre is mostly absent, replaced by doubled or octaved vocal layers to keep things straight-forward and pop oriented. I’d honestly be remiss to file the whole project under that genre tag. The vibes are certainly similar - hazy, sample heavy, deadpan - but the sound feels more rooted in the 50s “bop-bah, la la la” era of pop than the melty 80s panache of your average chillwave record.
Beyond aesthetics, the retro-pop palette pays off thematically. The songs sampled for the record tend to depict simple, rose-tinted versions of love and heartbreak. Products of their time, they strike a careful balance between innocence and innuendo, and end up revealing quite a bit about those decades’ romantic expectations.
For example this line from “Seven Minutes in Heaven” by The Poni-Tails (sampled in “Birds Don’t Sing):
“I need seven minutes in heaven
Mama, Papa please give me
Mama, Papa don’t be mean or I’ll scream.”
A bit disconcerting...or these lovesick lines from “The Dance is Over” by The Shirelles (sampled in “Lovers Rock”):
“Now I know I’m not to blame
and we may never meet again
and I feel so ashamed
Please can we still be friends
I know I’ll love you until the end
The dance is over and you are gone.”
An interesting contrast emerges with the inclusion of these samples - their melodramatic romanticism pitted against the cynical tone of Petering’s lyrics. It highlights that no matter how much the conventions of dating have changed, those core emotional experiences still resonate. It also creates some meta-contextual insight into how pop music can shape these experiences as a product that we consume. The malaise of the characters appearing in the songs on French Exit often stems from this, which is acknowledged explicitly in “Lovers Rock”:
”You like a pretty boy
With a pretty voice
Who's tryna sell you something
Something that you already have”
This lyric highlights that French Exit isn’t an exception to the commercial aspects of pop music, even when it’s commenting on how those aspects affect us. The term “pretty boy” acts as a stand-in for any number of pop singers or actors depicting love stories in art/media, including TV Girl themselves. Though the record tends to deal with the fallout of expecting real relationships to measure up to the idealized romances of pop culture, it’s still selling its own set of expectations by doing so. If you were to base your perceptions of love on this record alone, you might come to expect inordinate heaps of disappointment, yearning, and heartbreak. The cycle just continues forward in this way, in a process that’s folded into both the form and content of the tunes on French Exit.
Or put more crudely in “Talk to Strangers”:
“Lust turns to boredom, boredom to lust
Diminishing returns with each and every thrust”.
And with that, I’m gonna leave this review to the dustbin of history, to be critically re-evaluated in ten years time during the chillwave revival of 2030. Go cop a 6th anniversary repress, give the record another listen, and get ready to either fall in love all over again or be heartbroken. As for me, I’ll be on my bike bumping these tunes like 2014 never left.
Favorite Lyrics
The sound of mass confusion
Reverberated down the hall
Into the ears of a stoic roommate
Who put her headphones on
  • "Come When You Call"
Because love can burn like a cigarette
And leave you with nothing
  • "Lover’s Rock"
Louise never heard about puppy love
'Cause they don't know that term in France
  • "Louise"
Talking Points
  • Is this record a chillwave album? What characteristics make it fall into that genre category?
  • What are your thoughts on the discourse surrounding TV Girl’s lyrics? Appropriate callout or a misplaced reaction? Both?
  • How do you find the samples contribute to the sound and themes of the record? Are they successfully integrated?
Thanks again to u/mko0987 for the writeup! In the meantime, discuss today's record down below in the comments, where the schedule for the rest of the series will also be posted.
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2020.09.17 11:02 beachnugget99 Single forever?

I had the worst experience dating my first boyfriend. I was fully invested in the relationship and on a random Tuesday afternoon he dumped over the phone, only to later find out he had been cheating on me for the last half of our relationship.
Since then we had gone back together for a short period and then random times where he would he hit me up (and id carelessly respond). But its been like four years and I still haven’t been able to connect with anyone through the years. I keep thinking its because ive gotten comfortable being awkward, shy, and closed off but I love being able to mingle with people, just seems no one wants to mingle with me. :(
Idk is there something more to it? Am i just not raidiating that vibe to people? HELP
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2020.09.17 03:53 lavenderchimes 24 [F4M] Are coffee dates still a thing? (CEBU)

(for people in CEBU only) Hello beautiful creatures! So I do pose this question, are decent coffee dates still a thing? You chat with someone, pleasantries and all, meet up, talk about the mundane things in life. If we vibe, good. If not, then no hard feelings— we could shake hands and part ways gracefully. That’s kind of what I’m yearning for right now. To make new connections somehow.
To save us the hassle, I would greatly prefer the following:
• 26-32 years of age • NOT in an open relationship • sexually open, but this doesn’t mean we get banging right away • likes to converse, respects varied opinions and not negatively argumentative • doesn’t mind late replies because we all have a life • dad-bods
and there’s me: • 5”3 and a half • plus-sized • those ^ mentioned in the preferences as well
So yeah, if you fancy the idea, send me a message. See you!
submitted by lavenderchimes to phr4r [link] [comments]

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